SOMEONE WANTS TO BONK ME

I ain’t telling who.

Over MSN.

Ting: Booooorrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeddddddddddddd
Him: Saaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmeeeeee
Ting: Entertain me!!

*Yak yak yak*

Before long, he went offline cos he finally had the urge to sleep and as I was busy plucking my armpit hair with some personal stuff, I didn’t manage to bid goodbyes. So, SMS took over.

Ting: Oi! So fast disappear? Good night!
Him: Yeah, suddenly have the urge to sleep.
Ting: Okay, hope you won’t be able to fall asleep so I won’t be the only one bored and awake. Hurhurhur. Good night.
Him: Evil! Next time I see you I will bonk you!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I reread the message that came in for 2 seconds, and burst into uncontrollable laughter.

I sounded very much like a lunatic in the middle of the night with such high decibels chuckles.

As I was typing my reply, the panicky one sent a message almost instantly as a follow-up.

Him: Shit.
Him: Shit, I meant bonk your head. LOL!
(Please don’t, my head will hurt. Ting sings: I just can’t get you outta my head… blarblarblar…)
Ting: Erm. !!!!!!!! I am so gonna blog about it.
Him: NoOooOOooOo =P
Ting: Die. YOU DIE. I am so gonna blog about it.
Him: Dun say I never entertain you. Oh crap; what have I got myself into?

Don’t worry Tet my friend, at least I won’t turn up at your doorstep in a yellow sundress(private joke).

Sorry darling, as much as I am deprived, I still have too much pride within to compromise my standards.

Oops.

***

Yes yes. I was informed about this.

But, tsk tsk, Mr Miyagi made a grave mistake.

I ran into the toilet with a bundle of nerves cos I was shy to meet him.

Yes, the secret is out.

Miyagi is my blog idol, not Kenny.

Sorry Kenny.

Aww…

Er, thanks for the mention though.

I hope KG doesn’t read TODAY. *fingers crossed*

***

I can remember the times I met up with friends, and my nerves just got in my way.

I was completely thrown off guard when Wanyi approached Raf in Forever 21, cos she recognised Raf from my blog.

And there I was, shopping, too.

I giggled and hid my face behind the piece of garment in my hands.

My first meetup with Gracie and Darlene last year was totally… disastrous.

I was hiding behind this pillar even though they had spotted me.

The meetup at Mambo?

I was hiding on top of the podium facing the main crowd, and just….. too…. too.. shy to face the bloggers when I was there.

It was quite rude, actually. Apologies for that.

That I refused to go up to say hi, and that I refused to turn towards them.

Hisreason would know how I was giggling nervously when Finicky Feline pulled me over to him when we first met.

My dearest buddy, Jiali, would remember how I was avoiding looking at her when I offered her a Rocher to establish a long-lasting friendship when we were 16.

My class of primary 1 kids stared at their new teacher who giggled for the 1st ten minutes of her first lesson, before she could compose herself to do some brief introduction.

Even in front of a class of well-acquainted classmates, I would squat down and hid behind the table and giggled nervously when I was experiencing severe stage fright.

I am worse with girls, than with guys.

WHAT IS BLARDY WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!?!

Of course, there are exceptions.

I am less shy with strangers, somehow.

As in those who are totally not going to cross my path in the future.

Servers and waiters are constantly teased and bullied by me, so much so that I need to be tamed.

Weird, weird, Ting.

Argh. Can someone give me some lessons on overcoming my nerves in social occasions?

This is getting too embarrassing.

Yes, I am blardy shy, can?

***

My sleeping pattern is so screwed these days.

I napped from 2pm-6pm yesterday(yes, I only fell asleep at 2pm from the day before!), and today? 6am to 4pm.

Tsk tsk. This is bad.

And the soccer games are keeping me up tonight.

And oddly, I wake up to a minor heart attack, everyday.

It’s alright.

I was told. Was still totally clueless. I didn’t see for myself. Didn’t have to, either.

I learnt to hear no evil, see no evil, and just, can’t be bothered with evil.

Certain things speak for themselves and I don’t intend to get into it anymore.

Clear conscience, I maintain.

Ai yah.. don’t care la.

Today, was a tad more severe. (No pun intended)

Cos it involved people who are close to my heart.

On Monday night, Friend A was out with someone who emailed her, and halfway through their movie, she messaged me to tell me she suddenly had some bad vibes of the guy she was with.

Feeling panicky and worried that she met up with a stranger, I asked her who she was with and didn’t have any respond from her. I told her to make her getaway as soon as the movie ended.

Thank God, nothing happened, and she told me the guy was pretty okay and didn’t mean harm.

She attributed the bad feeling to her being paranoid.

She was online yesterday, and told me about the guy had read my blog after my birthday, and had saw the both of us at Attica on my birthday.

And he had overheard me talking about some Mr Z4 back then, and then, coincidentally, surfed into blogosphere.

That roused my interest.

I started to kick myself for having too much a drop(erm, just a few sips of vodka orange, I swear) that night, and wondered how much other private stuffs the stranger had overheard.

She refused to tell me more cos she said we would talk over dinner cos she hadn’t met me for a long while, and thought of catching up. She had wanted to leave the topics as fillers over dinner.

A and I had planned to have dinner today, and I returned to her call, which I missed.

She was busy, and thus, asked for a raincheck for the dinner.

Since we decided not to meet up, she told me about the guy she met up over the phone.

How he had emailed her, and asked for the honour to date her.

In his words, ‘May I have the honour to date you?’.

How he had said he had saw us at Attica some months ago, on my birthday.

How he had said he remembered her. How he ‘anyhow’ surfed in.

How he had picked her up from her place.

How she thought he was a tad egoistic.

She then linked the trait of egoistic to the colour and make of car he was driving.

She believes guys’ characteristics are linked to the cars they drive.

The make and colour of car came as a shock. Nothing fanciful, but sounds uniquely familiar.

I pressed for the name.

I sweared.

I seldom do. But. Darn, I did.

***

Let’s rewind the time back to some months ago, Ting’s 24th, Attica.

Friend A and Friend B are both close friends of mine.

Both were invited, and attended.

B brought her boyfriend along.

Boyfriend was introduced to A.

Since that meeting, the couple of times I met up with the couple, he would bring up A and joked about her wearing a G-string(which was rather obvious from her bottom) in front of B.

Boyfriend is a joker, B is open to his female-related jokes, and we would laugh it off together.

I didn’t tell A about it back then cos I knew Boyfriend was pretty harmless and meant it as a joke.

***

And yes, you guessed it.

In a dramatic twist, the guy is actually, B’s boyfriend.

A, being not very good with people’s faces, had totally forgotten about the guy, and had not recognised him, at all.

Best part?

The guy is actually still legally married(though separated).

And, knowing how close I am to A and B, I am surprised he didn’t think that A might tell me about the meetup.

I am even more surprised that he didn’t think I would be ready as hell to tell B.

It was a tough mental fight.

I struggled with the decision.

To tell, or not to tell.

***

A felt that I should go ahead, and bring the issue to her attention.

I thought so too.

But yet, seeing a friend hurt is not something I would like to go through.

Anyway.

Do what you have to do, others told me.

Hey Boyfriend, if you’re reading this, stirring shit is not what I had intended it to be.

I may be the most-hated bitch to you right now, but I don’t think I can live with the guilty conscience of hiding it from my good friend if I did not come clean.

Think about it.

I don’t wish that one day, she will hate me from hiding things from her.

Between you and her, I would rather you hate me.

You should have known better, really.

***

This brings me to another internal fight.

I saw a friend’s Vietnamese girlfriend leaving Attica in the arms of a Caucasian(not extremely intimately, but just his arms around her) one night when he was away overseas for a business trip.

But I didn’t tell him.

Cos I wasn’t that close to him(though I knew him since when he was in Hwachong, and he is such a nice sweetie) to know how anal he is when it comes to such stuffs, and there is not any other substantial factual evidence to show the girlfriend was misbehaving.

I had thought of telling him, but I STILL don’t know if I should.

In the case of B, it was clear cut. She is a close friend, and she doesn’t like such.

***

Had dinner with Janice in the evening at Holland Village.

Was makeupless, bespectacled, slippers-clad.

Totally unglam, plus awful.

Whoever still thinks I am glam, ought to be shot.

Shared insights to what had happened, and discussed if, and how I should tell B about it.

I considered for a long while, before I finally plucked the courage to message Friend B.

I asked if she wanna join me at Holland Village, and she readily agreed.

Janice had wanted to stay around, but it was already late, so she made a move before Friend B arrived.

Janice then called to tell me that this blogger who reads our blog, who had seen us in Orchard NYDC last weekend, had just stopped her to say hi.

So coincidental. He saw her, again.

@&%#@^%$!%#!$

Sheesh.

I should always remind myself not to be lazy, and MUST always look my glamourous-est whenever I am out.

Thank God, he didn’t see me.

Muahahaha.

***

Friend B arrived shortly after, and we adjourned to Wala Wala, where the server Zain, was incredibly sweet to us the entire night.

B also commented how cute the lead singer was.

We listened to the music, and she asked if I am happy these days.

I am better than those days in the past, I said, with a cryptic smile.

Why do you look so troubled then, she pressed.

Nah. I brushed it aside.

If only she knew.

I asked some questions about her life, and the things about her present relationship, fishing information so I could gauge the situation, and opt for the appropriate approach to break it to her.

She had told boyfriend she would be meeting me, and I think he already forsaw what would happen.

I was experiencing an evil bout of jitters.

What’s wrong with me? What’s with me and jitters?!

It was then a heart-warming catching up without me broaching the main gist.

She then said, she had once asked a friend(who had only met me once) what he thought about me(yes, yes, she was trying to set us up!).

His reply?

‘She seems the sort with lotsa emotional baggages.‘

*APPLAUSE*

Only one meeting. It doesn’t take much for him to notice that. Good one. Sensitive guys, I like.

Not as much as I like the naughty, flirty, teasy, (but meant no harm, down-to-earth and decent) and have not-so-good taste kind.

Gee, what the hell is the kind of criteria is that?

Anyway… the night at Wala was coming to an end.

How much does a kg of balls cost? I need to purchase some, man.

I finally plucked the courage, breathed in and closed my eyes, covered my ears, and spit the news out.

She took it coolly.

But I know her.

She is a softie at heart.

She was upset, and called up boyfriend immediately.

‘I didn’t like her. I was just bored.‘

It was quite a weightless defense, and a fierce exchange erupted over the phone. They broke up.

Sigh.

I felt shitty.

Miserable.

And I felt like a damned bitch.

Still, I had to do what I had to do.

I just hope what I did was right.

Am I too meddlesome?

I don’t know.

I only know if my boyfriend does this without my knowledge, I would rather be informed too.

We left for home shortly after.

She was furious, but she maintained her composure, still flashing me smiles.

I could see she was holding back her tears.

Yet, she is the sort who has so much pride in her that she would stubbornly not allow a single betrayal of her emotions.

I hope she is well.

***

Oh. No pictures, a tad boring huh?

Some pictures from the meetup from Hideout.

Kenny and his irritating stare.

Tsk tsk, not only you are capable of it, alright?

And, the gorgeous, gorgeous, picture of the 3 hunks.

Giving the Supermodelblogger Blue Steel look.

And aww…. look! Such pretty moo moo there.

Last, but not least.

Remember this?

Aw… the ever-fabulous Roberto, again.

What’s the linkage, you ask?

Of course, there’s a link here.

Register the pretty picture first.

And I shall now, tell you what.

*COUGH COUGH*

But hey wait! Kenny, what’s the bald patch there on your head? *gasp in mock horror*

BALDING!!

Why do I find you attractive no more?

Don’t know why, it was hardly Roberto I was reminded of.

Oh my goodness.

I was reminded of..

*Sniggers* Oh, suddenly, you’re more attractive, again.

***

Gaohan some sort felt that I gush over female friends like how guys would gush over girls they like.

He suspected I am soon becoming a lesbian.

Fret not, you still stand a chance, my dear.

Muahahaha.

Joke, okay, joke.

I told him I would normally gush over my friends, especially worthy ones.

Why not him?

Alright, Gaohan, I hereby, officially, am gushing over you.

*GUSH GUSH GUSH*

Woo, almost 6, 7 years since we first acquainted, eh?

Did I mention guys who play soccer and adore soccer are extremely enticing?

Just a pity you are a darn Liverpudlian.

Then again, same goes for Philip Ong.

Then again, same goes for Mr KG.

Hey, I think a certain David, too.

Gasp gasp gasp.

Oh my. Oh my.

Am I seeing a trend here, or something?

See what had I mentioned about having a soft spot for naughty guys who have not-so-nice taste.

No wonder they would never fall for me.

Hurhurhur.

Liverpudlians, you hear this?

MYTHS ABOUT SCARLETT TING YOU SHOULDN’T BELIEVE IN

Freak. I am so awake.

So freaking awake.

Hoegaarden’s fault.

***

Sometimes, when you make a few nice friends out of bloggers, it’s pretty hard to blog about them as individuals cos they would rather remain anonymous.

They will always be coded by their cheesy meaningful online monikers, and the references to them, will cease to be personal.

Just yesterday, a conversation was made over dinner.

Could true friendship exist among bloggers, it was discussed.

Or is it deja vu of the IRC age all over again?

And, coincidentally, over drinks today, the issue of ‘elitism’ was briefly mentioned.

There will always people who would want to be seen with those who are high-up-theres, or establish some kind of bond that would catapult them into a prominent position.

And yes, in the same breath, there will always be people who would want to avoid such circumstances. Too high profile, they would say.

Have you ever being drawn to someone just based on his/her online personality?

I bet ya did.

So did I.

How about disappointments that are derived from real life experiences with them that dash the wholesome images prior to meeting them?

Hell yeah.

In fact, the equation will work itself out quite quaintly.

Sometimes, you could still very much like someone’s personality. You could still like someone very much. You could still admire the dazzling qualities in him/her.

But, it doesn’t guarantee that it means you would get along well with the person.

And sometimes, you could harbour lotsa reservations. You totally abhor the qualities in them. You feel they are arrogant.

But, such clouded judgements sometimes do go away pretty swiftly.

At the end of the day, it takes quite a fair bit of chemistry to make things work, really.

It’s like, you can have someone who memorises every detail of your blog from day 1 till this very moment, but, some things, are far beyond words.

Some people can get the vibes easily, some would just miss them totally.

Some could get them, and stay silent, simply because, some things go way beyond words. Like decrypting the entries with intuition.

The whole communications become non-verbal, and that’s pretty tantalising, I say.

Even some friends, couldn’t match up to that.

Seriously, I don’t see myself as someone easy to get along with.

Even if I could seem very open to someone, there are still numerous other doors I keep locked.

Nothing hypocritical about it, nor am I putting on a front. I won’t be nice to someone if I don’t feel like it.

It’s just that, there are some rooms, people would rather not venture in, and thus, I kept the doors locked.

Like, in the case of, *cough* Mr KG.

The emotional drama-mama in me was not something he could cope with.

Yet, there are people who could totally accept the way I am.

The drama-mama, the doofus, the ditzy airhead, the smart ass, the glam queen, the party animal, the die-hard romantic, the kooky one, the bitch, the neurotic, the dreamer, the bummer, the fragile one, the over-the-top gigglish kid, the anti-social, the nerd, the flirt, the best friend, the worst enemy, the thinker, the bashful one, the daring one, the whatever, whatever.

I am a person of extremes, and it takes a little of getting used to, and a little of background understanding to know the mechanics of the in-my-opinion simple person.

Bubblemunchy Hisreason thinks I am simple. For that, I am grateful.

KG thinks I am complex and erratic, based on his limited knowledge of me.

Screw him.

I wish.

Woops.

Joke, joke.

I am sceptical of online friendships, really.

Oddly, I met a handful of interesting characters, that made much changes to my life recently.

For that, I am thankful.

That made me believe, some bloggers do make great pals.

Perhaps due to the same upfrontness that make beating around the bush unnecessary. Perhaps due to the same horniness quaint sense of humour, perhaps due to the same craving for sensuality, perhaps due to the same level of bitchiness, or perhaps, it’s the sheer simplicity of them, without the tiring mind games involved. Perhaps, the eerie coincidences of similar life experiences that bind people together.

It doesn’t matter if they are high profile, or just some low-key bloggers.

Bloggers, is just a term that generalises them.

They are not just mere bloggers, but brilliant individuals in real life. Deserving friends. Some of whom are potentially the ones who might change one’s life, and outlook in life.

Hence, I always forget, and tend to name their real names on my blog, which I had to amend a few times.

And I believe, this is why some bloggers get together, not for an elite clique that’s above the rest, but for simple reasons like cos they feel comfortable hanging out together.

They saw certain elements which they could relate to, or certain qualities they would value in a friend.

And that is why, not all bloggers can get along well together, cos there are differences at times.

Strong conflicting views, even.

I mean, when you have many opinionated people, it is just hard to make things work the way you want it, and the way others want it.

Sometimes, their known names might be the obstacle, cos some people would rather stay away rather than to be mistaken for sucking up to them.

Not to say it doesn’t happen, but most bloggers are individualistic people who have a mind of their own, rather than mere factor of wanted to be seen, to be heard, to be linked, to be.. well, you know.

It is nice, but not necessary is craved.

Anyway, publicity stunts do exist, and that’s another issue altogether.

Of course, I do not know where the friendships will lead to. It could be a mesmerising sudden burst of fireworks that does not last. Still, it is beautiful while it lasts.

Yet, they could establish something that would last for a very, very long time.

Just like how you have to get yourself in knee-deep politics, before you find the gems that settled at the bottom of it.

A tad idealist, but, no venture, no gain.

Something I learnt recently. Cool.

Bottomline? Choose your friends wisely, I say.

Tsk tsk. This is getting sappy, eh?

And to think that this has NOTHING to do with the title of my blog today!

It’s supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek post today, you know.

Muahaha.

Okay.

Let’s go on to something less solemn.

Yup, myths about me you should NEVER believe in.

***

MYTH #1 - TING IS ‘TEYH‘ (sounds cartoon-ish, babyish, irritatingly sweet, erm, coquettish?)

It is just totally not true.

It is almost as true as saying Michael Jackson is a paedophile.

Which cannot be true cos he wasn’t found guilty.

With such a cool, glam image, it could only mean that Ting is a lady of few words.

And the gems I spew forth are rarely often always wise and important.

In the same breath, she has the huskiest yet feminine voice that embodies nothing but sexiness.

*Cough*

Really.

I will smack whoever who doesn’t believe that.

What DIDN’T happen:
I had met up with Tetanus, Finicky Feline and her friend last night at Wala Wala. An impromptu meetup. It was my first meeting with Friend.

Shortly after the introduction, the very nice Tetanus had kindly requested me to speak these lines, in Mandarin, ‘Good morning everybody! Take out your textbooks, flip to page XX, chapter 1.1. We are now going to start our lesson.’

I am suspecting that he has a fetish for teachers or something.

That’s because I am said to sound incredibly cutish when I am speaking Mandarin, and I had once spoke the above lines, which made everyone cringing endlessly.

Before I could finish my sentence, Tetanus and FF were looking away, stifling their laughters, whilst new friend stared at me, gobsmacked.

I don’t think it was THAT bad, right?

I mean, hello?! I used to say that everyday for a year. 5 times everyday, no less.

My students also didn’t laugh, you know?

I then serenaded the trio with my heart-wrenching rendition of….

The theme song of Doraemon.

Due to popular request, obviously.

New friend gave a very interesting reaction and had his hand to his forehead. He shook his head, and was laughing.

I think he enjoyed it.

As the evening progressed for another 10 minutes or so, he suddenly deduced I am a natural ‘teyh‘.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE HORRORS!

THE AUDACITY!

Woe is me!

How dare he judge me just base on the first meeting? What’s more, a short one.

Again, I was asked if I am Taiwanese.

We tried to get FF to ‘teyh‘ and it was visually tantalising to see her doing it.

She reminds me so much of Korean porn.

‘Teyh’, is so not Scarlett Ting.

***

MYTH #2 - TING IS CLUMSY

I am not known as the poised one for nothing.

People who know me well would know I am such a graceful swan and that I am nowhere near to clumsy.

Ben of BenTingism did call me ‘Clumsy’ affectionately, but that’s not the point.

What DIDN’T happen:
They had gotten me a Hoegaarden when I arrived.

After downing around an inch of the beer, I kinda like it.

I am so not a beer person. In fact, I don’t take anything gassy.

And with my exceptionally brilliant tolerance for alcohol, I had never go for beer, you see.

But I fell for the Hoe.

I was determined to finish my first beer for the first time in my life.

Tetanus made a joke outta the size of my feet(Size 4 and half by the way), making FF and him mocked how unstable I usually am when I walk, thus, explaining my clumsiness.

I am not clumsy, really.

Barely 10 minutes later, chicken wings were served.

While I was prying the wings apart, I don’t know how…

A loud ‘clang’ was heard in Wala Wala, and I had the entire club of people shifting their focal points to me.

I coolly sat there, and gave a nonchalant look.

I smiled at my companies for the evening, and sheepishly muttered, ‘It happens…. all the time.’

New friend was in awed with how quickly I proved him right wrong.

Of all places to have a wet patch.

My entire jeans were wet.

Yes yes, I have thunder thighs, but that’s not the point.

Yeap, this is an isolated incident, and shouldn’t be taken into account how clumsy I am.

Which, of course, I am not.

I am poised and cool, remember?

But, bottomline is, I am not good at creating good 1st impressions. Hurhurhur.

Everlasting ones, I am sure.

***

MYTH #3 - TING IS A BAD DRINKER

Tsk tsk. You may not know, but I am actually an abled drinker.

Good one, I reckon.

The only sad thing is, I am allergic to alcohol.

Symptoms include: Giggles, slowed reactions, incoherant speeches, unstable staggers, scarlet blushes, headaches and drowsiness.

Man, my allergy is bad.

What DIDN’T happen:
That one inch of Hoegaarden, plus a few stolen sips from FF, was all that I had for the evening.

Perhaps, it’s just fated that I elbowed the glass onto the floor.

Or else I might have really concussed out at Wala Wala.

I didn’t feel extremely overwhelmed by the effects, though I did take on a darker shade of pink.

It was a different story when I stood up to leave Wala.

I became very sleepy.

Over the sinful supper of Brownie with icecream and chocolate fudge cake with, I slurred throughout, and tripped over my words for every sentence I said.

Brain not working well.

Tongue knotted up.

My allergy is bad.

Alcohol and chocolate don’t go well.

Nauseating.

Despite craving for more food, the nausea put me off, and I just wanted to go home.

I fell asleep on the cab and had almost missed the turn to my place again.

I was supposed to send pictures of my new dress to Filee, but the alcohol affected me so much that I had a bad headache, and I fell asleep after editing the picture, halfway through our MSN chat.

And that was already 2 hours after I had that minute amount of beer.

Well done.

By the time I woke up after 2 hours of nap, I was energetic and awake.

How agonising. My body clock is further screwed.

It’s 8.45am now, and I feel blardy recharged.

Man.

Alcohol is evil.

And it’s not because I am a bad drinker.

Cos, I am not. Really.

***

MYTH #4 - TING THREW HERSELF ALL OVER TETANUS

Isn’t this old news, you say.

Yeap.

It didn’t happen back then, you see.

What DIDN’T happen:
You don’t have to believe everything you see. It’s just silly angles, really.

Since I didn’t really touch, I can’t tell you if it’s firm or not.

But one other thing I we DID do….

Leave me a message if you want to know if it’s pointy or not.

Muahahaha.

If Vamptress was with us, we could have her choreograph ‘movie posters’ for us.

Like some Korean love story…

So romantic…

See! I wasn’t the one.

This couldn’t be me, cos there’s no twirly.

This one doesn’t have twirls either, so couldn’t be me.

MYTH #5 - TING IS HORNY/LESBIAN-IN-THE-MAKING/POTENTIAL PORN STAR

I am just an innocent lady.

Celibated, and chaste.

Yes, I am deprived of affection, but I am not flustering(not really) nor actively looking out for potentials.

But, I don’t know why, due to bad angles, I was caught in really awful shots these days.

Now I can see how paparazzi get their stories.

As much FF has the innocent looks needed to be casted in some porn to fulfil the fantasy of desperate males, I only could look the part of a slut.

Don’t ask me why I got such looks, I don’t know either.

What DIDN’T happen:
Again, you don’t have to believe everything you see.

Oh, not this. Told ya I was wet from the beer.

The eyes-closed, gapping lips were a tad suggestive, I say.

How, FHM? Can feature me in your magazine?

Muahaha.

We were both lying on the couch when someone tried to sneak a shot of us.

We both sprang up from our positions, but was caught in this.

Darn.

I look so…… so….. hungry in the picture.

But in fact, she’s the one hungry for me.

She tugged at my top today to touch my boobs.

Naughty, naughty one. *PURR*

I can explain this.

Was in KTV when I was a tad tired, and was lying on Janice, with her holding me from behind, whilst Kenny tried to take a shot of us talking.

We jokingly posed, but we didn’t really kiss.

And the picture turned out scandalously delicious though we thought it would look hilarious and silly.

Cos we had meant it to be hilarious and silly.

Ah well.

Now, you should never believe in those myths they had said about me.

THE GUY FROM KUCHING

Mr Ex-boyfriend had apparently read the previous entry, and saw himself in the dreadful yellow shirt.

Ahh.. thankfully, he saw the hilarious side to it(I certainly hope so!) and laughed at his severe fashion faux pas.

I cringed when I thought about what he might have read/seen from this blog.

Ironically, this blog was started to record the saccharine-sweet moments we shared, and I had hoped he would read deeper into my world back then.

Of course, it didn’t happen.

My blog didn’t rouse his interest enough, I guess.

So it was pretty surprising when I found out that he is a closet reader now.

Then again, I think he is just a picture-browser.

Good. I am sure he is in for a treat with the gorgeous people in this entry.

Weekend was pretty cool.

Rushed out on Saturday evening to attend Joanne’s 21st birthday party at Bayshore, and the very lazy Ting blew a considerable amount on cab fare from west, to east.

Tsk tsk.

No wonder the only productivity I excel in, is in the area of lard-brewing.

The evening at Bayshore was a pretty low-key affair, but it was sweet.

Had a nice time catching up with Joanne, Meiling, Michael and Michelle, who were the only familiar faces to me.

I made a couple of new pals out of Joanne’s ex-classmates, and the 2 very unassuming babes made the evening sparkled.

The only bitchy hurting remark of the night, was the gems Joreen(the girl in white) spewed forth.

‘I so faaaaaattttttttttttttt.’

Which drew dagger stares from ALL of us, cos she is really petite and skinny in person(much more so than how she appears to be on the picture).

Never die before, I say.

The birthday girl who turned 21.

Witnessed how she bloomed from a tomboyish 18 year-old to a charismatic young lady…

Nice.

Michael and Michelle, who very kindly gave me a lift from Bayshore, to Boat Quay after the party.

The 4 of us.

A little background story to how we knew each other, and established a stronger bond only towards the end of last year.

Michael, is one of Philip’s riding buddies.

So were the ex-boyfriends of Joanne and Meiling.

Erm, yah.

We didn’t quite have an indepth friendship back then, but somehow, we got on really well, and have more opportunities to get to know each other better after our breakups.

If there’s one thing to be thankful about out of the excruciating experience, it gotta be the brilliant friends I derived at the end of it.

Anyway.

I can’t believe how I dropped all kinds of food all over myself, all over the floor, and was the butt of all jokes throughout the party.

*Sulks* Why do I have to be clumsy all the time? Darn.

Poise, Ting, POISE!!

And it doesn’t help that they were going on and on about how ugly my curls are.

Grr….

Met up with Finicky Feline after I had a brief catchup with Meiling at the bus stop near the mouth of Boat Quay.

By now, everyone would have read countless accounts from people who had met up with the Malaysian blogger over the weekend.

My very brief(what a change!) account previously had something lacking.

Yes, pictures.

Anyway. It was plenty of jitters before we made our way up.

The 2 nervous girlies ladies were having cold-feet, and didn’t quite want to make our way to Hideout, anymore.

As we made our entrance, we didn’t see any familiar faces.

Just as we were standing in the midst of the crowd, I saw a familiar face behind Finicky Feline, and exclaimed, ‘Oh my God, they are right behind you.‘

Yeap, it was that of Kenny Sia.

I scooted off to the washroom, and what followed was a very typical reaction from the bashful Ting.

Yeah, get it shove into your head, I am SHY, alright?

In Finicky Feline’s words, ‘Better than Ting lah, who ran into the toilet to hide. We had to chase her down and force the toilet door open.‘

They did just THAT.

And I couldn’t stop giggling when I was introduced to Mr Miyagi.

And yes, we couldn’t stop snapping away for the night.

Ladies and gentlemen, what I have here, is very limited.

Will post more when I finally bug the others for the rest of the pictures.

FF’s definition of sexiness:

Obviously, she meant the one on the left right.

Not me.

He’s cuter in flesh than how he looks on prints.

And I wished someone could shoot me on the spot when FF told him how I reckon he is cute.

#!%%!$#$!@

We then came to a consensus that Mr Brown has no neck was the cutest.

Alas, he is happily married, and that left us 2 very disappointed beings.

Me, and the 2 very charismatic ones.

And of course, the display specimen star of the night from Kuching.

Juicypout was fantastic, who made me feel pretty at ease by initiating conversation, something I suck terribly in.

Everybody wanted a piece of Kenny Sia.

He sneaked away for a rendevous with the wife and 2 concubines, and left us all abandoned and unwanted.

We grew increasingly bored whilst waiting for his return.

And finally, the 4 of them return to Hideout..

That lucky basket.

This picture looks scandalous suspicious.

And no, I didn’t actually touch his bum.

My hand was inches away when it was taken.

And, gee, what were Kenny and Wendy doing in the background?

And yes, that’s a blardy bad shot of my obscenely obese arm.

I have some suggestive shots of Finicky Feline, but I will risk getting myself into a fight with a cat, and thus, I shall be nice.

Like I always am.

At least she wasn’t as sneaky as Mr Brown who deleted a.. hmm, not so flattering picture of him from her camera.

He has no idea how we had painstakingly tried to take pictures of him from several angles just to get that shot.

*Cough cough* Eye for a guy, or something?

Hurhurhur.

(Sorry people, I am actually blogging at 8am, and thus, my brain is not working particularly well. I feel as if I am typing gibberish, again. Pardon me if I don’t make sense.)

Very excitingly, a fight broke out during supper, and it was in my opinion, rather hilarious.

I couldn’t stop giggling and I have no idea why it tickled me so.

I am so gonna get into trouble with my giggles someday.

Janice joined us and was adamant to meet Kenny, who had left to join Wendy and concubines for KTV.

Thus, off to the KTV in the heart of Orchard, we went.

Where we clamoured for his attention.

Ah well.

It was more competition for Kenny’s attention on a lazy Sunday.

Woke up to a couple of messages.

Apparently, he was all alone at Plaza Singapura, and no one was meeting up with him.

Being very nice friends, Janice and I sprung out of bed(*cough* at 4pm in the afternoon), and travelled the gruelling distance to meet him at Plaza Singapura.

Coincidentally, FF was at Plaza Singapura as well.

Yeah, they are fated huh.

Janice and I met up with him, cos he told us he would be meeting Brown at around 10pm, and that the Queen of Lians, Apple also known as Poisonlady, had stood him up.

Just when we finally met up with him, he dropped the bombshell that Apple had just woken up, and would be joining us in a while.

His definition of ‘in a while’?

The moment he informed us, she called and appeared right before us.

Then, he told us Brown would be picking him up shortly after.

*Gasp*

Aww… how’s that for competition for attention?

I bet he will remember the chilling stares from Janice and I for the rest of his life.

I was pretty apprehensive about meeting Apple cos I had imagined her to be some intimidating character that would boost my Hokkien ability to doctorate level.

But I didn’t have the grace time to back out, and thus, it ended up as a 4-some for the evening.

What did we have for dinner?

We threw Janice an incredibly weird stare when she announced flamboyantly, ‘I want to eat Kenny Sia.‘

*GASP GASP GASP*

You’re alone, babe. You’re alone.

Anyway, back to Apple.

Surprisingly, she is extremely lovable, and she didn’t speak Hokkien!

In fact, she was quite graceful when she speaks, and in contrast, I was the one who totally lost my poise when I had chocolate cake hanging off my chin, spaghetti sauce splattered all over.

No pretense about her, cool.

I think the 4 of us got on pretty well.

It is absolutely not true when people had exaggerated how all the girls were throwing ourselves themselves all over Kenny.

It’s just, so, not true, you know?

Yah, it couldn’t be true, you know.

Cos, we are such shy people.

That lucky basket.

I thought we were supposed to pose… apparently Janice didn’t share the same frequency with me. *Giggles*

Her idol, you know.

Somebody should just crop me out of the picture.

Ah well, I got lucky, too.

I don’t understand what’s the big deal of girls kissing each other on the lips.

It can just be an affectionate display of friendship, no?

Come on, didn’t you guys see on the papers how Fan Wei Qi and Zhang Hui Mei pecked each other on the lips too?

Taiwanese host Xiao S and Cecilia Cheung smooched each other too, while on a variety show.

Nothing to rave about, really.

(Though I think the peeps at Bakerzin were pretty jealous of Kenny Sia)

We bade Kenny goodbye, and Apple then made her way home.

Janice and I then took a long walk down Orchard Road, that proved to be the biggest mistake of the day.

What are the odds of being recognised by people who saw Janice, and naturally guessed it was me right beside her, TWICE?

And both didn’t even come up to us to say hi.

Tsk tsk!

And to think we discussed this issue over dinner.

I so swear that I will not hang out with her again.

Hmph.

One was at a bus stop, another was at NYDC Heeren.

And not forgetting the other times when I was being seen at CitiLink Mall, and Chinese Garden MRT.

We didn’t sit long at NYDC Heeren, after Janice realised the wireless wasn’t working.

In fact, we left without ordering anything cos she couldn’t get it connected and see no point in staying.

Anyway.

Yucks. I blardy hate it when being recognised.

Yes, HATE IT.

Not their faults. Just that I am just so blardy uncomfortable with that and am insecure by default.

Anyway, if you do recognise us next time, do say hi.

It would be better that way, I supposed.

Alright.

At least I am feeling better after some retail therapy.

Yay.

I got myself new dress, new earrings, and a chunky necklace.

Yay.

Sales don’t rouse me anymore.

They make me queasy and giddy.

I shall not mention how I had to rest for a while cos I got sick from the MNG sale.

And it wasn’t even crowded.

But somehow, the browsing itself was too harsh, and I broke out in cold sweat after spending 15 minutes in the shop.

So home, we went.

***

So, Kenny’s stay came to an end, since he would be returning to Kuching today.

Anyway, it was great having you around, mate! Have a safe journey back home.

Or else, I would not be able to get my pictures from ya!

And indeed, Kenny was a hit amongst the women.

One last question, Kenny.

Tsk tsk.

Hurhurhur.

I THOUGHT I WAS SPECIAL…

But I am just one of the many many.

*Sneer*

Tsk tsk.

Some days ago, on a late Wednesday night, *cough cough* someone told me he was planning for a hush hush trip to Singapore.

So hush hush that I was the only one who knew about it.

Then huh, he told me a little birdie had informed Mr Miyagi and Mr Brown about it.

Then huh, it was only right he let his ‘wife’, Xiaxue, to know about it.

We then secretly planned to give Finicky Feline a surprise, with me asking her out on a Saturday night, and saying that I would bring a friend along.

We did a calculation, and thought it would be a rather private and small gathering, perhaps over a meal or something.

Then, the plan didn’t go well cos the 2 old fogeys wise and high-up-theres had invited someone to Hideout, and Finicky Feline had wanted to meet up with Tetanus and Mandrake at Wala Wala.

Uh-oh.

Clash.

I then phoned up the babe, and suggested Hideout instead.

She sensed something was amiss, and trapped my words.

Bleah. Cat out of the bag.

And I was a blardy lousy liar, cos I thought someone had told her about it already.

Well done.

So, Hideout, it would be, and the babe could hardly contain her excitement.

Tetanus and Mandrake then pulled out.

It was only Miyagi and Kenny when we got there.

Coincidentally, Mail Order Bride was there too, and thus, my virgin meeting with her.

MrBrown made his grand entrance that drive the butterflies in my tummy to a frenzy.

I shall not mention how I was having the usual social jitters that I ended up hiding in the washroom.

And how I giggled and avoided eye-contact with Miyagi and MrBrown. Oh, I almost forgot about the star of the night.

Star-struck with the 2 senior ones, you see.

Then, the ‘wife‘ made her grand entrance, with 2 concubines in the form of Yunyi and Shuyin, in tow.

Great.

All 3 were then present.

The wife, the mistress, and the date, in his words.

It is no surprise that it was a night filled with catfights.

NOT.

All were rather willing to share.

Then, Sandralicious, TriplePeriod, Ruok, Daniel, MakanGuru, Airhole turned up at Hideout after their earlier plans at Wala wala.

Janice joined us for supper after much psycho-ing, but missed seeing Kenny Sia who had left in the midst of supper to join Xiaxue, Yunyi and Shuyin for KTV. *seething with jealousy*

Wow, so many people.

I scared.

Eventless after supper, with the older generation heading for home, Janice was then eager to meet the star of the night.

Like some kind of Kuching-imported animal up for display in zoo like that.

So, we joined the quartet for KTV.

So, we just ended KTV at 6am.

So, the mistress and the wife shared a cab back to the west together.

So, I am blardy tired now.

So, there are so many pictures accumulated in countless cameras.

I shall not mention how I didn’t even manage to take one picture with my camera cos the battery went flat(I was at Joanne’s birthday party) when I whipped it out for my 1st picture of the night.

The audacity of the stupid camera!

With more than half of the night gone, I was digging for my phone when I found the extra battery pack in my bag.

I had thought, and was very sure I had forgotten to bring it out.

Apparently, I can never be sure when I say I am sure.

Bleah.

Many, many pictures.

I think all of us were journalist material with a nose for scandals.

We were pretty sly when we took pictures from scandalous angles, and of provocative coincidences, that would surely tease the minds of those who read us.

Tsk tsk.

Now, don’t we all know how paparazzi works?

Just wait. *rubs hands in glee*

The dangerous thing is, there are tons of awful pictures of me in the hands of the others, and I am easily succumbed to blackmails of all sorts.

Likewise, for others.

Hurhurhur. This circle is becoming not-so-safe.

Oh well.

And!

We didn’t throw ourselves all over him.

He was the one bugging all of us to take pictures with him.

Alright, fine. We did very much want to take pictures with him also.

I mean, it’s like, if they bring in the Panda from China for 2 days, you would grab the chance to take picture with it if it’s right beside you right?

Erm, not very good analogy there.

Night, I think I am typing gibberish from the severe lack of rest.

Still meeting up with the Kuching boy later.

One last thing I want to lament.

I am so not special.

*SULKS*

Muahaha.

So Kenny, are we nice to you, or what?

A FRACTION OF THE PAST

When there is no one else online in the middle of the night, you find yourself easily succumbed to such lame quiz to pass time.

Perhaps, we are always trying to know ourselves better, and all routes will seem enticing to us.

Get to know yourself better (Courtesy of Tetanus)

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don’t like conflict. Because you’re so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

My take?

I am not usually interesting to people.

Intelligent? Nah.

Honest? Okay, somewhat so. Hurhur.

Sweet? Muahaha. Nope.

Friendly to everyone? Not true!

I am not cheerful nor fun!

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

What do you think, peepz? Muahaha. Tsk tsk. Truest statement of all. I am a blardy sucker for romance.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

Used to be true. Not so sure about now. Until, the right one comes along for me to establish the truth.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren’t interested in wasting time with people you don’t really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

*Cough* So, people whom I don’t really like, what do YOU think?

But somehow, I think I fit this more:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that’s why you’ll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

*Cough* FF, what do YOU think? Muahaha.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

How. Not. True. I don’t believe in that bull, really.

The right job for you:
You’re a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you’ll be set for life.

So. Very. Not. True.

I am the least practical person anyone could find.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

Why am I not so sure about this? Hurhur.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don’t ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

*Nod nod*

Yet I am always so dependent. Tsk tsk. *wags finger*

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

The last statement is spot on.

***

So bored.

I am blogging a tad too much these days, you know.

And what I had been blogging about, has so much to do with the past, isn’t it?

Right on.

It has been 5 days since I left home for some social gatherings with friends and such.

Was pretty much looking forward to the weekend after a couple of plans didn’t work out through the week.

Say, chicken rice lunch with Shivonne and peepz on Tuesday, and coffee with Vamptress and Tetanus on Thursday.

The former didn’t take place cos I was too groggy to leave home. The latter didn’t take place cos
our schedules didn’t quite fit.

Coincidentally, today’s plan was a combination of both.

Was already all dressed and out to head to Philip’s chicken rice stall(yeay, Mr Ex-boyfriend is now a chicken rice stall owner) to meet up with Shivonne for chicken rice dinner.

Quite embarrassed to say that I have not patronised their stall since its officially opening due to the evil bout of flu.

Okay, fine, and a substantial bout of laziness, too.

Shivonne, is actually this pretty nurse, whom Philip was rather interested in for a period of time.

Likewise, she fell for him too.

But things didn’t work out, I guess.

I took comfort in the fact that I don’t feel anything weird nor particularly upsetting when she added me on MSN and befriended me.

Vamptress thought the whole arrangement was pretty bizarre.

Hurhurhur. The thought of it is indeed bizarre, but since there wasn’t an ounce of awkwardness(honest!), I didn’t think it wasn’t appropriate or anything.

I see that as a sign that I moved on, well. (Yippee!)

Anyway.

Plan was I would meet up with Vamptress and Tetanus after my chicken rice dinner.

I packed my stuffs before heading out.

Whilst on my way, I was informed everything was sold out, and it would be pretty much pointless if I make my way down.

Ah well. I shall just hang out in town then. I thought no harm checking out the MNG sale before meeting the others.

The aggressive crowd put me off, and I backed off after only 5 steps into the shop.

Anyway, bad news came swiftly, and Vamptress had called to raincheck the meetup.

Alright then, seems like it wasn’t quite my day.

Just as I was wandering aimlessly around the mall, hungry, the phone rang.

Royston. Philip’s friend.

Someone who hadn’t called me since the cretaceous age.

What a surprise eh?

So, it didn’t quite come as a surprise when he actually called up to ask of a favour.

He asked where I was, and was rather amused by the fact that I was alone, just walking aimlessly.

Hung up after I said I would try to help.

It was then endless trips up and down escalators, checking out stores which I had no interest in, and browsing at all the fanciful menus to decide what I wanted to eat.

Wasn’t in the mood to club.

Didn’t know what to do, where to go.

Surprisingly, Royston called back, and said he would pick me up from where I was, to have dinner with me.

It was porridge(how exciting for a food choice) at Chinatown, as we caught up with whatever had been happening for the past months we haven’t been in much contact.

I am pretty amazed, and amused with certain twist of events.

People who had read about the series of events that happened back then, would know how dramatic every had been.

I didn’t expect the drama to last till now, today.

Apparently something had happened before he met up with me, and I realised how draggy the whole issue had evolved.

Still, I wish the 3 of them would realise what is best for them, and everyone would be happy at the end of it.

Is it possible?

I think it is.

Maybe I am just an idealist.

***

The talk over dinner was pretty long.

He then suggested that we would go over to EskiBar to meet up with *gasp* Philip, Kenneth, David and gang.

Wouldn’t it be weird?

Not exactly how I would want my weekend to be.

Just not feeling up to it.

I mean, it was just that I was in one of my quiet moods, and I didn’t want any misunderstanding to arise from it.

I would still very much feel alright meeting up with them on any other days, I am sure.

Was feeling a tad affected by what Royston had shared.

Was just feeling a tad affected by everything, I guess.

And didn’t feel like heading home early for the night.

***

The brilliant Finicky Feline was a darling.

She came down to Boat Quay to meet up with me.

At Boat Quay.

I met the guy of my nightmares dreams.

The man I wanted to marry.

The gorgeous one I wanted to shag.

The handsome one I wanted to…