THIS FUNNY THING THEY CALLED NOSTALGIA

Great timing.

The rumbles from the warning skies, I now hear.

***

If I have to be precised with each and single thought that goes through me at this moment, it would perhaps be the longest blog, ever, from me.

I can’t think straight.

Not when the stupid medications are still screwing my brain over and over again.

I feel weird.

Physically, from the medications.

Sentimentally, it’s a mess within.

Many strands of emotions, of different extremes, entangled, dry, and brittled.

I tried to pull them apart, detangle the choked bundle, so that I could identify exactly what I am feeling now.

But, I can’t.

Yet, I know the culprits.

Oh well.

***

Dad touched down from China at Changi, and thus, he spent the night in Singapore today.

I was feeling rather sickly, and was conversing with him from behind the doors.

I was suddenly reminded of the poignant entry Kenny had written.

Draped a decent dress over myself, and ventured to the hall, a tad reluctantly.

‘Happy Fathers’ Day…‘ I mustered all the energy I had to put on the cheeriest smile.

He beamed, looking contended.

My heart warmed.

1.20am. No longer Sunday.

Still, it doesn’t matter, cos I made him smile.

I know, cos he told Mum he is most happy when he sees me smile.

***

I had wanted to blog about something happy on Friday night.

After I dug through my mum’s wardrobe to pass time on an eventless evening, looking for some inspirations.

A retro party on Saturday, you see.

Since my mum is not living with me, all the clothes in the wardrobe are pretty redundant.

I was surprised with some of the *cough* gems I found in the wardrobe.

It made me happy, on a Friday night which I spent alone.

*Sniggers*

Don’t laugh.

I was digging through the piles of old clothes when I saw this orange set of top and bottom, which my mum had wanted to throw away some months ago.

I protested strongly.

I had never wore this awful pretty combination before, cos, erm, I simply didn’t have the courage to do so.

And no, they didn’t belong to my mum.

Dad had bought them for me when he was in Hong Kong for a holiday when I was in secondary school.

Men.

What can I say?

You can never, ever, trust their tastes too much.

And, I warn again, DO NOT LAUGH.

*Cough*

I think they are beautiful.

A sheer zipped top, with a stripped skirt to go along.

Yes, they are beautiful, and I do not want to chute them down the bin.

Cos, dad bought them for me.

He bought them, thus, they are nice.

***

I found the perfect gear for the retro-themed party!

In my mum’s wardrobe!

Whee!

Erm.

*Cough*

It reminded me so much of the Taiwanese TV personality Ruhua, and I just had to try it on, and laugh at myself when I stare into the mirror.

Very cute, don’t you think?

So… so.. so…. mesmerising eh? Sorry, I am at a loss of words.

The surprise of the night came.

When I saw this deserted piece, isolated on a hanger in a corner.

I stripped it from the hanger, and put in on.

I thought it wasn’t too bad, considering the ghastly piece I found earlier on.

I did not have any memory of this dress, nor had I ever seen my mom in it.

Yay, I found something I could wear for the party.

Something, belonged to my mom.

I kinda like it when I can slow my pace, to appreciate my parents’ tastes, once in a while.

If only I could have as much patience to appreciate their tastes in partners.

***

Felt immensely sick after downing the cocktail of pills.

Plan was to meet up with Janice at Dhoby Ghaut.

I stopped at City Hall MRT to bank in a cheque, and withdrew some cash from the ATM.

Apparently, the pills are indeed evil.

My hands were shaking so much that I dropped my cash, my card, and everything else, onto the floor.

It was THAT bad.

I shall not mention how the pills made me insert my EZ-Link card into the ATM machine today, and silently grumbling to myself when several attempts failed.

But, I was alert enough to did a quick check with a fast turn of the head when I realised what a doofus I had been.

No one saw. Phew.

Then, I told Janice I would meet her at Dhoby Ghaut.

Apparently, I had forgotten about it, and I thought I had told her to come meet me at City Hall instead.

I knew it.

I shouldn’t even head out for Saturday and Sunday.

Then again, I had to.

***

Was walking along CitiLink Mall in a daze, when my attention was captured by a few distracting flashes.

I slow-motioned my head to the left, took a nonchalant glance behind. 5 tall, lanky, skinny, gorgeous models walking down the stretch, with a photographer snapping away while they sashayed with that chilled look on their faces.

RIGHT NEXT TO ME.

There I was, a dazed, short(comparatively), plump(try standing next to them and you would know what I mean), unglam(they were in gowns) one walking right next to them.

I thought I saw people looking at them, and then took a quick look at me, amused.

I was blocking their way, I think.

*^#$%@$%@!#$!#

What a striking contrast, I know.

I sneaked into the entrance of the next shop, totally embarrassed.

Bleah.

***

Did a whirlwind shopping trip with Janice at Dhoby Ghaut, before we rushed down to Bedok by cab.

Had wanted to drop by Philip’s chicken rice stall, but decided time was tight.

Anyway. We were on our way to the retro-themed birthday party.

We joked how in those movies, the nerds would be invited to parties so the people would have something to laugh at.

And the horror struck.

Look! The fear! The jitters!

I think it must be the pills.

Then again, it might be just the usual jitters I get when I am going to meet a bunch of people I have yet to meet before.

The awkwardness, the whatever and ever. You know?

Somemore, my brain a bit out of sorts, couldn’t process any data.

Pretty unnecessary worries, cos the birthday girl was all smiles when she greeted us at the door.

It was Yunyi(Wanyi)’s 21st birthday party!

The details were a tad hazy cos I was feeling all right one moment, and had to take several deep breaths cos the nausea was too overwhelming the next.

Janice and I were too shy to mingle, and were sticking to each other most of the time.

Shy, you know.

I remember there were many Mozarts-in-the-making rupturing my eardrums serenading us for most of the evening with their masterpieces.

I remember how Janice was glued to the television, enchanted by ‘Kindred Spirits’.

I remember how little I ate despite very much roused by the good spread cos I was just too unwell.

I remember how we were laughing at some hilarious antics, which I couldn’t recall what.

I remember how her room and her *cough* bed posts looked.

I remember how every one of her friends is skinny and looked starved slim.

Meet, the evil stepmom and her 2 Indonesian maids stepdaughters.

I do look evil, don’t I?

Now, I understand why people commented I have the -sneer- mistress look.

Oh, I clipped the sides of the dress, so that it would look different. *beams*

Okay okay, here, all smiles and neater hair.

So sweeeeeet huh. Give me a head of blond tresses and I might just look like an all-American sweetheart.

9 of us then all left to go Outram Oriental for KTV.

Yay!

***

In the cab, somehow topic was brought on to Guangyang, and Shubin.

And how life is often filled with regrets.

The tears hovered.

Talks of Shubin reminded of one of the last conversations I ever had with him.

Ouch.

Anyway, it was supposed to be a happy day, and all of those were buried, as we alighted the cab with eagerness.

***

Janice grew bored, and suggested whoring for the camera.

And I could hardly muster a smile.

I was then reluctant to pose for the camera cos I didn’t want to be the nearest to the camera. *pouts* I would end up being the fattest-looking, you see.

That’s better.

Janice and I with the birthday babe!

We acted cool…

And..

We tried to look sexy but failed miserably wasn’t quite convincing.

So we tried acting cute.

(Wah, very big huh)

My eyes, I meant.

Me and Weili.

His eyes are not so small in real life, but they are always mysteriously swallowed up by his face when he smiles.

Yah, don’t start. I know we look hideous.

All the babes who were present.

What separates the 3 girls on the left from the rest, is the fact that they sang darn well.

(But, *cough* the rest of us sang the best)

What separates the 5 girls on the right from the rest, is the fact that they blog.

Carol, Midori, Yunyi, Shuyin, Yanyan, Ting, Janice.

So, when you’re in a big group, what do you do when someone else is singing?

1) Cry.

Birthday girl was so touched by the MTV that she cried.

Despite watching it for the 264343th time.

2) Mimicking the scenes from the MTV.

我选择了你，你选择了我。。
这是我们的选择。

Nice.

3) Do sit-ups.

I was warned beforehand that if I dare to post up the demostration picture for this, I would be delinked, defamed, and *horror of all horrors* detwirled.

Since the threat came from her, I ought to practise some self-discipline, and keep the picture from the public’s eyes.

***

It was past midnight when we bade the girls goodbye.

Programless, Janice and I strolled to Rav at Boat quay to meet her Mass Communications classmates.

We didn’t quite enjoy the crowd, and we then strolled to…. Attica.

Wasn’t quite in a clubbing mood, so we hesitated till 2am before we decided to venture in.

Been weeks since I hadn’t been there, and it was one of the most boring Saturday nights, ever.

Music was erm, rather bad.

Airkissed the familiar faces as greetings were exchanged.

We stood around to chat most of the time, catching up with some friends, and only stayed for a couple of hours before we left.

Everyone was warm and nice.

Janice and I then sat around to chat over our usual 7-11 supper, and by the time we finally finished, we walked to City Hall to grab a cab.

It was 6 when I finally reached home.

***

Struggled to get out of the house in the evening.

Destination: Mandarin Hotel.

Adrianne, my primary school mate, ended her singleton days.

The first, of the class of 43, 6I, 1993.

Man.

Apparently, she only invited a handful of ex-classmates, and since 2 others couldn’t make it, I was the *gasp* only one who turned up.

Still, there wasn’t a lack of familiar faces.

Huimei, my secondary 1-4 classmate, was there too, cos she is a friend of the groom.

Another River Valley face was there too, and I was surprised when she could spit out my name the instance I saw her.

For the night, the only familiar faces around my table, were that of Mrs Chiang, my primary 5/6 form teacher, and Andy, her son.

Andy stood in for her for a couple of months when she was on medical leave, and thus, our class was well-acquainted with him.

It is no surprise that I was the only victim one who could engage in thosewerethedays talk with Mrs Chiang.

She gasped and greeted me, ‘Hey Huiting! The gigglish one!’

In which I responded with a series of giggles.

Still am, I guess. Old habits die hard.

I was quite *cough* flattered when she remembered me as the one who fought and bullied by the boys.

And the one who excelled in Chinese, struggled with English.

There were many names constantly hanging loose from the lips, and it was easy to see who her pets were back in those days.

It was nice.

Warm, and fuzzy.

I always miss my primary school classmates more than others.

Just that I felt a tad inadequate bringing up the countless names of my ex-classmates.

Accompanied by their choice of careers.

There were talks of old pals. My ex-classmates, her ex-students.

There were talks of cancer. My condition(no, I don’t have cancer. Not really.), her fight against it.

There were talks of teaching. My short-stint, her career for life.

There were talks of God. My struggles, her testimonies.

She mentioned something about knowing my problems, which came as a surprise, cos that was a first, ever, from her.

She said something about how everything wasn’t easy for me, and that she could see that I am strong.

I smiled cheekily, squinting my eyes impishly, hiding the glassy traces that my emotions were slightly stirred.

If only she knows.

Generally, solemn stuffs.

Which is kinda depressing, actually, considering the junction I am at right now.

***

Adrianne’s husband is a Navy Officer.

And I am rather impressed by the quality of guys at the dinner.

Plenty of eye-candies.

Though not necessary the ones holding the swords.

I went ‘Wooooooooo…..’ when I saw the guys in uniforms.

I scrutinised their faces and retracted it.

These 2 stopped right in front of me when they took their positions.

I would rather put some of the civilians who attended the dinner in the uniforms in to replace them.

The expression of the random victim of mine(to be captured on the camera) was that of great reluctance.

Navy guys. *Slurp*

Now, I feel like one of those perverts from Sggirls.com.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

*Cringe*

Didn’t manage to eat much despite the spread.

Apparently, I still out-eat most people at this table.

I concluded the night with 3 bowls of the desserts, and snacked on 3 boxes of chocolate when we left.

Mrs Chiang and I.

Andy and I.

He used to be in his prime when he was teaching us.

Now, he’s already a father of two, and becoming very a tad uncle-ish.

Me and the bride.

I would like to say how I was much skinnier than her back in those days.

I told ya so.

Andy and Mrs Chiang graciously gave me a lift home.

I felt…. a very strange mix of emotions I haven’t felt for a long time.

Very, very strange.

So strange that I feel half-hearted throughout, blogging this boring post.

I realised tears come swift these days.

Even watching the news proved to be a challenge.

Ever since that fateful night when I sobbed.

Eeeeeeeek.

Marshmellow Ting is back.

Yucks.

Don’t want.

Go away.