MYTHS ABOUT SCARLETT TING YOU SHOULDN’T BELIEVE IN

Freak. I am so awake.

So freaking awake.

Hoegaarden’s fault.

***

Sometimes, when you make a few nice friends out of bloggers, it’s pretty hard to blog about them as individuals cos they would rather remain anonymous.

They will always be coded by their cheesy meaningful online monikers, and the references to them, will cease to be personal.

Just yesterday, a conversation was made over dinner.

Could true friendship exist among bloggers, it was discussed.

Or is it deja vu of the IRC age all over again?

And, coincidentally, over drinks today, the issue of ‘elitism’ was briefly mentioned.

There will always people who would want to be seen with those who are high-up-theres, or establish some kind of bond that would catapult them into a prominent position.

And yes, in the same breath, there will always be people who would want to avoid such circumstances. Too high profile, they would say.

Have you ever being drawn to someone just based on his/her online personality?

I bet ya did.

So did I.

How about disappointments that are derived from real life experiences with them that dash the wholesome images prior to meeting them?

Hell yeah.

In fact, the equation will work itself out quite quaintly.

Sometimes, you could still very much like someone’s personality. You could still like someone very much. You could still admire the dazzling qualities in him/her.

But, it doesn’t guarantee that it means you would get along well with the person.

And sometimes, you could harbour lotsa reservations. You totally abhor the qualities in them. You feel they are arrogant.

But, such clouded judgements sometimes do go away pretty swiftly.

At the end of the day, it takes quite a fair bit of chemistry to make things work, really.

It’s like, you can have someone who memorises every detail of your blog from day 1 till this very moment, but, some things, are far beyond words.

Some people can get the vibes easily, some would just miss them totally.

Some could get them, and stay silent, simply because, some things go way beyond words. Like decrypting the entries with intuition.

The whole communications become non-verbal, and that’s pretty tantalising, I say.

Even some friends, couldn’t match up to that.

Seriously, I don’t see myself as someone easy to get along with.

Even if I could seem very open to someone, there are still numerous other doors I keep locked.

Nothing hypocritical about it, nor am I putting on a front. I won’t be nice to someone if I don’t feel like it.

It’s just that, there are some rooms, people would rather not venture in, and thus, I kept the doors locked.

Like, in the case of, *cough* Mr KG.

The emotional drama-mama in me was not something he could cope with.

Yet, there are people who could totally accept the way I am.

The drama-mama, the doofus, the ditzy airhead, the smart ass, the glam queen, the party animal, the die-hard romantic, the kooky one, the bitch, the neurotic, the dreamer, the bummer, the fragile one, the over-the-top gigglish kid, the anti-social, the nerd, the flirt, the best friend, the worst enemy, the thinker, the bashful one, the daring one, the whatever, whatever.

I am a person of extremes, and it takes a little of getting used to, and a little of background understanding to know the mechanics of the in-my-opinion simple person.

Bubblemunchy Hisreason thinks I am simple. For that, I am grateful.

KG thinks I am complex and erratic, based on his limited knowledge of me.

Screw him.

I wish.

Woops.

Joke, joke.

I am sceptical of online friendships, really.

Oddly, I met a handful of interesting characters, that made much changes to my life recently.

For that, I am thankful.

That made me believe, some bloggers do make great pals.

Perhaps due to the same upfrontness that make beating around the bush unnecessary. Perhaps due to the same horniness quaint sense of humour, perhaps due to the same craving for sensuality, perhaps due to the same level of bitchiness, or perhaps, it’s the sheer simplicity of them, without the tiring mind games involved. Perhaps, the eerie coincidences of similar life experiences that bind people together.

It doesn’t matter if they are high profile, or just some low-key bloggers.

Bloggers, is just a term that generalises them.

They are not just mere bloggers, but brilliant individuals in real life. Deserving friends. Some of whom are potentially the ones who might change one’s life, and outlook in life.

Hence, I always forget, and tend to name their real names on my blog, which I had to amend a few times.

And I believe, this is why some bloggers get together, not for an elite clique that’s above the rest, but for simple reasons like cos they feel comfortable hanging out together.

They saw certain elements which they could relate to, or certain qualities they would value in a friend.

And that is why, not all bloggers can get along well together, cos there are differences at times.

Strong conflicting views, even.

I mean, when you have many opinionated people, it is just hard to make things work the way you want it, and the way others want it.

Sometimes, their known names might be the obstacle, cos some people would rather stay away rather than to be mistaken for sucking up to them.

Not to say it doesn’t happen, but most bloggers are individualistic people who have a mind of their own, rather than mere factor of wanted to be seen, to be heard, to be linked, to be.. well, you know.

It is nice, but not necessary is craved.

Anyway, publicity stunts do exist, and that’s another issue altogether.

Of course, I do not know where the friendships will lead to. It could be a mesmerising sudden burst of fireworks that does not last. Still, it is beautiful while it lasts.

Yet, they could establish something that would last for a very, very long time.

Just like how you have to get yourself in knee-deep politics, before you find the gems that settled at the bottom of it.

A tad idealist, but, no venture, no gain.

Something I learnt recently. Cool.

Bottomline? Choose your friends wisely, I say.

Tsk tsk. This is getting sappy, eh?

And to think that this has NOTHING to do with the title of my blog today!

It’s supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek post today, you know.

Muahaha.

Okay.

Let’s go on to something less solemn.

Yup, myths about me you should NEVER believe in.

***

MYTH #1 - TING IS ‘TEYH‘ (sounds cartoon-ish, babyish, irritatingly sweet, erm, coquettish?)

It is just totally not true.

It is almost as true as saying Michael Jackson is a paedophile.

Which cannot be true cos he wasn’t found guilty.

With such a cool, glam image, it could only mean that Ting is a lady of few words.

And the gems I spew forth are rarely often always wise and important.

In the same breath, she has the huskiest yet feminine voice that embodies nothing but sexiness.

*Cough*

Really.

I will smack whoever who doesn’t believe that.

What DIDN’T happen:
I had met up with Tetanus, Finicky Feline and her friend last night at Wala Wala. An impromptu meetup. It was my first meeting with Friend.

Shortly after the introduction, the very nice Tetanus had kindly requested me to speak these lines, in Mandarin, ‘Good morning everybody! Take out your textbooks, flip to page XX, chapter 1.1. We are now going to start our lesson.’

I am suspecting that he has a fetish for teachers or something.

That’s because I am said to sound incredibly cutish when I am speaking Mandarin, and I had once spoke the above lines, which made everyone cringing endlessly.

Before I could finish my sentence, Tetanus and FF were looking away, stifling their laughters, whilst new friend stared at me, gobsmacked.

I don’t think it was THAT bad, right?

I mean, hello?! I used to say that everyday for a year. 5 times everyday, no less.

My students also didn’t laugh, you know?

I then serenaded the trio with my heart-wrenching rendition of….

The theme song of Doraemon.

Due to popular request, obviously.

New friend gave a very interesting reaction and had his hand to his forehead. He shook his head, and was laughing.

I think he enjoyed it.

As the evening progressed for another 10 minutes or so, he suddenly deduced I am a natural ‘teyh‘.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE HORRORS!

THE AUDACITY!

Woe is me!

How dare he judge me just base on the first meeting? What’s more, a short one.

Again, I was asked if I am Taiwanese.

We tried to get FF to ‘teyh‘ and it was visually tantalising to see her doing it.

She reminds me so much of Korean porn.

‘Teyh’, is so not Scarlett Ting.

***

MYTH #2 - TING IS CLUMSY

I am not known as the poised one for nothing.

People who know me well would know I am such a graceful swan and that I am nowhere near to clumsy.

Ben of BenTingism did call me ‘Clumsy’ affectionately, but that’s not the point.

What DIDN’T happen:
They had gotten me a Hoegaarden when I arrived.

After downing around an inch of the beer, I kinda like it.

I am so not a beer person. In fact, I don’t take anything gassy.

And with my exceptionally brilliant tolerance for alcohol, I had never go for beer, you see.

But I fell for the Hoe.

I was determined to finish my first beer for the first time in my life.

Tetanus made a joke outta the size of my feet(Size 4 and half by the way), making FF and him mocked how unstable I usually am when I walk, thus, explaining my clumsiness.

I am not clumsy, really.

Barely 10 minutes later, chicken wings were served.

While I was prying the wings apart, I don’t know how…

A loud ‘clang’ was heard in Wala Wala, and I had the entire club of people shifting their focal points to me.

I coolly sat there, and gave a nonchalant look.

I smiled at my companies for the evening, and sheepishly muttered, ‘It happens…. all the time.’

New friend was in awed with how quickly I proved him right wrong.

Of all places to have a wet patch.

My entire jeans were wet.

Yes yes, I have thunder thighs, but that’s not the point.

Yeap, this is an isolated incident, and shouldn’t be taken into account how clumsy I am.

Which, of course, I am not.

I am poised and cool, remember?

But, bottomline is, I am not good at creating good 1st impressions. Hurhurhur.

Everlasting ones, I am sure.

***

MYTH #3 - TING IS A BAD DRINKER

Tsk tsk. You may not know, but I am actually an abled drinker.

Good one, I reckon.

The only sad thing is, I am allergic to alcohol.

Symptoms include: Giggles, slowed reactions, incoherant speeches, unstable staggers, scarlet blushes, headaches and drowsiness.

Man, my allergy is bad.

What DIDN’T happen:
That one inch of Hoegaarden, plus a few stolen sips from FF, was all that I had for the evening.

Perhaps, it’s just fated that I elbowed the glass onto the floor.

Or else I might have really concussed out at Wala Wala.

I didn’t feel extremely overwhelmed by the effects, though I did take on a darker shade of pink.

It was a different story when I stood up to leave Wala.

I became very sleepy.

Over the sinful supper of Brownie with icecream and chocolate fudge cake with, I slurred throughout, and tripped over my words for every sentence I said.

Brain not working well.

Tongue knotted up.

My allergy is bad.

Alcohol and chocolate don’t go well.

Nauseating.

Despite craving for more food, the nausea put me off, and I just wanted to go home.

I fell asleep on the cab and had almost missed the turn to my place again.

I was supposed to send pictures of my new dress to Filee, but the alcohol affected me so much that I had a bad headache, and I fell asleep after editing the picture, halfway through our MSN chat.

And that was already 2 hours after I had that minute amount of beer.

Well done.

By the time I woke up after 2 hours of nap, I was energetic and awake.

How agonising. My body clock is further screwed.

It’s 8.45am now, and I feel blardy recharged.

Man.

Alcohol is evil.

And it’s not because I am a bad drinker.

Cos, I am not. Really.

***

MYTH #4 - TING THREW HERSELF ALL OVER TETANUS

Isn’t this old news, you say.

Yeap.

It didn’t happen back then, you see.

What DIDN’T happen:
You don’t have to believe everything you see. It’s just silly angles, really.

Since I didn’t really touch, I can’t tell you if it’s firm or not.

But one other thing I we DID do….

Leave me a message if you want to know if it’s pointy or not.

Muahahaha.

If Vamptress was with us, we could have her choreograph ‘movie posters’ for us.

Like some Korean love story…

So romantic…

See! I wasn’t the one.

This couldn’t be me, cos there’s no twirly.

This one doesn’t have twirls either, so couldn’t be me.

MYTH #5 - TING IS HORNY/LESBIAN-IN-THE-MAKING/POTENTIAL PORN STAR

I am just an innocent lady.

Celibated, and chaste.

Yes, I am deprived of affection, but I am not flustering(not really) nor actively looking out for potentials.

But, I don’t know why, due to bad angles, I was caught in really awful shots these days.

Now I can see how paparazzi get their stories.

As much FF has the innocent looks needed to be casted in some porn to fulfil the fantasy of desperate males, I only could look the part of a slut.

Don’t ask me why I got such looks, I don’t know either.

What DIDN’T happen:
Again, you don’t have to believe everything you see.

Oh, not this. Told ya I was wet from the beer.

The eyes-closed, gapping lips were a tad suggestive, I say.

How, FHM? Can feature me in your magazine?

Muahaha.

We were both lying on the couch when someone tried to sneak a shot of us.

We both sprang up from our positions, but was caught in this.

Darn.

I look so…… so….. hungry in the picture.

But in fact, she’s the one hungry for me.

She tugged at my top today to touch my boobs.

Naughty, naughty one. *PURR*

I can explain this.

Was in KTV when I was a tad tired, and was lying on Janice, with her holding me from behind, whilst Kenny tried to take a shot of us talking.

We jokingly posed, but we didn’t really kiss.

And the picture turned out scandalously delicious though we thought it would look hilarious and silly.

Cos we had meant it to be hilarious and silly.

Ah well.

Now, you should never believe in those myths they had said about me.