Warning: Parental Guidance *cough* advised. If you might get offended, skip this, rather than bitch about the contents in your tiny, sad world.

I am tired.

I am so tired.

I am so freaking tired.

Despite sleeping for a fulfilling 12 hours for Tuesday, and almost 10 last night.

I swear it’s the PMS(Sheesh, thiis month, it doesn’t come with boobs).

I float around like a zombie, I feel lethargic all the time, my usually *ahem* swift wits slow down to a crawl, my appetite is unusually huge, and my favourite scents become unbearably nauseating.

And I shall not mention the erratic mood swings that make me the most anti-social creature around. *Grrr…*

Thus, there’s barely any zealous grey matter left for any pulse-accelerating entry.

Therefore, I indulged in some quiet time with myself, reading, surfing, emailing, watching CSI, and just lazing under the duvet, sulking away.

So, the entry was delayed, and delayed.

I have been too inconsistent with my updates, I know.

So, how should I start?

Ah well.

Am pretty upset that my Bubblemunche Hisreason left blogosphere again.

Please come back soon, alright? *hug*

Tuesday was an interesting day.

The 4 male-sluts wannabes had an scintillating meet-up arranged at 7pm.

But of course, when you meet up with a bunch of girls, it’s naturally that 7pm would inevitably become 7.30pm.

I would claim partial responsibility for being 7 minutes late cos SBB called when I was changing.

Brief chat.

‘Hey sweetie, can I call you back in 10 minutes time when I’m leaving?‘

In the most sickening endearing babyish-voice, he spoke like a child wanting his way, ‘No! Cannot. You must talk to me.‘

‘Hahaha, okay, but another 10 minutes only okay?‘

Ooooooooops.

That was why I was late in meeting Finicky Feline at Jurong East MRT. Supposed meeting time was 6.30pm.

*Sheepish smile*

We waited for VampTreSS right outside Swissotel, at the taxi stand.

She was supposed to pick us up by cab before heading down to Millenia Walk to meet Jane Doe.

It was yet another wait, and it was no surprise we were late to meet Jane Doe.

The biggest sacrifice the girls made, was to endure the sight of my naked face through the night. I even threw the thought of putting on concealer out of my head cos I was too lazy.

Waking up at 7am in the morning proved to be a bitch.

I could feel the drowsiness kicking in when I was at Millenia Walk, even before we moved off from there for dinner.

No one could suggest a brilliant place for dinner, and no one was decisive enough to make any plans.

Hence, Jane Doe ended up driving around aimlessly, and before we knew it, she hit up ECP, and we found ourselves in East Coast, Siglap area.

Still clueless over what we should be having, we drove in, and out of Cafe Cartel carpark, and drove on.

No one made any decisions.

I guess, we are just too used to letting guys do the planning for us.

Yes, I am one of those ladies who will let the guys do the decision-makings unless PMS takes over.

You see, guys are the ones who navigate around, and would have a more precise idea on where they wanna park, what budget they have, or whatever that’s more convenient to them, no?

Anyway, it was then, she announced that we would head to Changi Airport instead.

*Gasp in horror*

Miss Ting stays in Jurong, ya know?

I always thought they should have an internal flight from Changi to where I stay.

I love it there, but it’s blardy out of the way for me.

FF the genius thought of Changi Village, and finally, a goal was set for our destination.

Off we went.

I stared out of the window most of the time, with my mind wandered off elsewhere.

I was just too exhausted by the day’s event that it was hard to get my mind together.

It was on ECP that the conversation between the lasses warmed the night up, and we engaged in some really quality and exhilarating topics.

Erm, topics that could keep the space-out princess awake.

Like JaneDoe said, we should have had a podcast. The juicy, tender, spicy, kinky, silly talks would sure catapult us into super stardom.

The media companies should get us onto some talk shows or something and have a program of our own.

It almost felt like a scene out of Sex and the City.

In Vamp’s words, that was one of the most liberating talks we had in a long, long while.

It was in that Nissan sedan, where we realised, we are all aliens.

I felt like a freak.

I felt like a laughing stock.

Let’s take a look on what JaneDoe had blogged about:

Well… some of things we talked about. Out loud.

1. Rimming
2. Spooning.
3. Ass Fcuking.
4. Searching for your own G-spot.(As one of the ladies said… ” its the size of a pea)
5. Can’t understand how can one not cum by stimulating the clit, with a vibrator even.
6. There are always a couple of fakers amongst us.
7. We have done the office toilet ritual.
8. Bad experiences. OMM and tiny / thin / flaccid / short etc…

Yes, since I had admitted elsewhere that vibrator does no miracles on me, I shall admit I am alien specimen A who fulfilled point 5 — vibrator is redundant on me.

And erm yeah, I know how rare it is amongst females for that…

Alien specimen B, is *cough* pealess.

That’s all I am allowed to say.

The talk was later adjourned to the dinner table at Changi Village, Charlie’s.

The lightings and the cold, chilly night was putting me into hibernation mode.

I swear my eyelids weighed a ton each, and I was slowly dozing off at the table.

I was spacing out, unable to catch up with their topics, until…..

The juicy, and heated parts came up, again.

I sobered up almost instantaneously, and it’s no wonder they said I have slut-blood running in each and every vein within me.

To keep me awake, the night was filled with sleaze educational talks.

As dinner came to an end, Janice called for a short talk on the phone, and the poor girl was down with some ailments, when she was supposed to be joining us for the night.

Get well soon babe, and go easy on the alcohol.

Before I knew it, we were all ferried to Jalan Kayu for drinks, and continued on our hormone-charged talks over there, before dispersing home from there.

I started to space out really swiftly, and my speech was slurred and slow, just like the previous time I met up with the 3 of them for the bowling session.

(Yes, the bowling session where FF set a bet that SBB and I would smooch a week thereforth)

Delirious state, I was in.

I managed to lust last through the night with the fabulous company, and I have learnt things I never knew.

Like, say, face-into-pillow, eyes 3/4 shut, eyeballs rolled back, dug nails into the back, bedsheets-grabbing, high-pitch moan and does a quick glance at the television to keep yourself entertained while claiming the title to academy award’s best actress.

Muahahahahaha.

The classic look on JD’s face while she did a demostration, was priceless.

And gossips about a pretty famous local actor, Mr er, NoFear.

Told ya it was interesting.

Let’s see.

A recap of a number of things she mentioned.

Rimming. I still have no freaking idea what it is, cos I was spaced out, and could possibly miss it.

Tsk. Next time I MUST pay full attention.

Spooning. If I am not wrong, I was the one who had the topic started.

Hmmmmmm….. I like.

Ass-shag…. As proud as JD is, I can still proudly declare I am an ass-virgin too.

Muahahaha.

Searching for your own G. I have never tried so. Maybe cos I don’t need to.

As for point 5. Vibrator-does-no-wonders. Yes, I can’t say I am an alien enough.

That’s why I don’t even see much need for DIYs(thus, I don’t) and could survive O-less for the entire celibated period.

It seems almost impossible to people around me to believe I survived more than 16 months, with erotic stories and visually stimulating clips failed to rouse me.

Am I still human?

Hurhurhur.

Then again, not able to climax through that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it.

Adore it. Especially with the help of a probing tongue.

I don’t know who’s worse? Pealess woman or vibrator-is-useless me?

At least she has an easier task to solve. I need more to be satisfied, ya know?

And I could never be like her.

7?!

*Green-eyed*

Credits to the one who gave me 5 at one go. Shortchanged him one for that session though.

Hurhurhur.

For that I shall be nice for once and not mention his OMM’s past. For once.

Fakers. Never was one. But now that I learnt the tricks and facial expressions needed to make it a convincing show…..

Hmm.. the voice control, the falsettos. *ahem*

Office toilet ritual? My ‘handicap‘ made it impossible. *sulk*

Bad experiences? OMMism? Hurhurhur.

I have my share, you know?

Especially dealing with OMMs. (Karma ah, karma)

I thought it was hilarious when one told of this incident involving measuring tape, length, shape and circumference.

Stamina, or the lack of.

Erm, what about reading a book while the deed takes place?

And the talks of SBB, GCB, SB, GSB, and other Bs.

They should be so very worried.

And, we talked about visits to the gynaecologist.

To all ladies out there, whether you are sexually active or not, do make a trip to the gynae for a pap smear.

I think there were even mentions of….

Just take it that I can’t remember.

And yes, all these in open area, unabashed, loud, not whispering and with tables filled with males around us.

In JD’s words: We continued immersing into our conversation (only way to keep that woman awake) giggling , blushing and mouth covering and eyes-wide open scenarios a-plenty.

***

I mentioned how I first watch the initial 2 episodes of Sex and the City back in London in 1999.

That’s it.

All the ladies gasped in surprise that I could miss such a great show.

As they launched into a talk of how the characters are like, I could almost imagine the 4 of us starring in a local version of the cult drama.

Though there were no distinction of who should take the part of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda, we all seem like a combination of all.

The silly me ended up trying to read up on the characters information after FF had mentioned that I seem to be a cross of Carrie and Samantha(*curse curse swear swear* Do I seem like a nympho to you?!), and Vamp thought I reminded her of Charlotte cos of my *cough* innocence.

Innocence, yes, I have.

Sometimes, I still struggle with finding myself, cos I have such conflicting traits in me that I could hardly deal with.

I had tried to fit them into the bare information I had read about, which might not be apt at all, and decided if I really have to come up with something…

JaneDoe would be Miranda. The crisp sense of sharp humour? Somehow, just so.
FF would be Charlotte. Must be the innocent, porn-star looks.
Vamp would be Samantha. Why do you think we wanna get dildo/vibrator for her birthday?

Ting shall be Carrie!

Simply because, I happened to read this quote:

Carrie: I’m not going to replace a man with some battery-operated device.
Miranda: You haven’t met ‘The Rabbit.’
Samantha: Oh come on, if you’re going to get a vibrator, at least get one called ‘The Horse.’

*Cough*

Girls, we shall do that again some time soon.

I promise I will nap enough to energise the night instead of spacing out time and again. *Flashes saccharine grin*

Maybe I shall bring a video camera or something.

***

I was pretty amused when FF suggested that I might one day succumb to a lesbian relationship.

Gee baby, how did I give you such vibes?

I seriously would shudder at the thought of making out with a lady as much as I appreciate the female species.

***

It was past midnight when the girls finally decided to call it a night.

VampTreSS and I adjourned to the prata shop nearby for more food and drink.

We indulged in more explicit talks.

It was pretty late by the time the night ended. She left for home in a cab.

I met up with SBB somewhere near his place thereafter.

***

The veil of mist dazed the night.

His gaze pierced the sheer fog, into the emptiness before.

The sharp, frigid air froze me a little.

It was a chilly night.

It was exceptionally icy.

I wasn’t sure if my exhaustion, or his cluttered mind had added on to the already freezing night.

He was evidently drained. Bugged by the difficulties at work too.

I tried to read if it was dejection, or fatigue that was written on his furrowed brows. Futile attempt.

A harsh day it had been for him, it seemed.

His thoughts wandered faraway.

I stayed silent.

Somehow, I always feel affected by people around. Am not sure if it is a gift, or curse.

His hand reached for mine, and provided some solace for the night.

We couldn’t warm each other’s hand, simply because our hands were gloved by a layer of iciness.

My fingers clenched a tad tighter, fully aware that there were limited things I could do to help, make things better, or even just to provide a little warmth.

‘Are you affected too?‘

Was pretty taken aback by the sudden question, and I giggled awkwardly as a response.

‘You don’t have to be..‘ he offered some form of assurance as he patted my thigh, stroking it a little.

I mustered a smile in return.

Chin up, sweets. Was just pretty worried for ya, that’s all.

***

We parted goodbye with a comforting, snug embrace, as I felt his arm snaking round my waist.

A quick kiss was pressed to round the night as the cab came to a halt.

That was the bare minimal comfort I could offer for a dear pal.

***

The ride home was easy.

SBB called to tide the ride over.

He sounded livelier.

The little doofus forgot to check with the cab driver if he accepts credit/debit card payment, and I just assumed he does simply cos of the signs on the window panel.

Apparently, his machine was down, and couldn’t accept my card.

I certainly didn’t have enough on me to afford the 20-odd bucks of cab fare.

My sweet cab driver #3 for the week actually apologised to me, instead of throwing insults at me for not checking with him.

Eventually, the panic me gave a look of helplessness, and he just asked for whatever I had on me.

I only had a $10 bill and $2 note.

I felt terribly awful that I was shortchanging such a sweetie.

I dug further and managed to locate lose coins that top up to another few bucks.

I emptied my bag for the last coin so I could give him whatever I could find.

God bless that kind soul.

***

Continued on the talk with SBB over the phone till it was time I should hit the showers.

I concussed straight after that.

I was THAT tired.

***

A home-bound Wednesday did good to me.

Recuperating, and reading my new read.

I have 3 books to finish, and Philip is pretty eager to lend me yet another.

Woops.

With the snail rate I am reading, I might not finish them anytime soon.

Apparently, I was told Philip’s mates are pretty nosey concerned with the recent development of my life.

Aww.. aren’t they sweet.

Kenneth had pressed for SBB’s identity, and if he is good-looking or such. And that if he’s a biker, he should be someone the group knows.

Michael then added on to the gossip on how I had been meeting rich guys over the past months.

*Cough*

I not that mercenary, okay?

And, if what they say are of important factors, isn’t all that a tad shallow?

Oh yah, I am a bimbo, I should be shallow. *giggles*

What about a good heart, and a nice, soft side?

What about if I am happy or not?

What about if I had ‘upgraded’ somehow compared to the past?

Muahahaha.

Joke, okay, joke.

The day passed easily with scattered phone calls in between, filling up the day.

Whatever happened to the long phone calls, you ask?

Told ya someone is gonna get bored of me, sooner or later.

And yesh, I said that one week ago, didn’t I?

Muahahaha.

***

I woke up at 10 plus today after only 6 hours of sleep. SBB called for a brief chat, before I slipped back into snooze mode at 11 plus.

Woke up around 3ish, and it was yet another brief chat with him, while I was getting ready to leave the house.

Since the phone might get cut off, I scurried down the dark, desserted stairways instead of taking the lift.

Time for me to get into the groove of having some exercises.

I exited from where the rubbish chute is, and the nosey one over the phone probed, ‘So, does the recycling bin reminded you of how SBM nearly threw you into it?’

Hmm, yeah, it does, you know. *wink*

The cab stopped at Vamp’s carpark, as I waited for her at her pool.

It was sweet cab driver #4 for me as he realised I didn’t have any coins, so he waived the 60 cents to make it a whole number instead of giving me change.

Whee!

What’s with the cab drivers these days?

They are all so nice!

***

SBB’s bike could be heard from a distance, and the lean figure became visible.

He swerved into the premises which he had sent me to before, and dismounted from the whimpering machine after he had shut it up with a twist of the key.

He passed the plastic bag with 2 bottles of drinks within, and we set it down next to the deckchairs.

A full-on wet snog followed briskly. Eager, and passionate.

She whipped out her camera, and set the modes, fidgeting around with it.

He pulled me up from the deck chair, which I had spreaded comfortably across, and flashed me a mischievous smile I could recognise, yet pretended not to.

‘Vamp, can I borrow her for a moment? I have something to settle with her. See ya in a while.‘

He pulled me forward forcefully, and we snuck into this little corner from her prying eyes, just behind the wall.

He pulled me closer, glued to his body, and we embraced in yet another sizzling kissing game.

(At this moment, SBB is on the phone. Although he has no idea what I am writing about at this point of the time, he said since I don’t know what to write, I might as well write… ‘As he swept me into his strong arms… and as I look into his lustfilled, compelling gaze, his mouth slowly parted and said..‘ How timely.)

So, I shall put what he said into good use.

As he swept me into his strong arms, and as I look into his lustfilled, compelling gaze, his mouth slowly parted and said..

‘I did say I am so gonna jump you, didn’t I?’

Okay, I have no idea how to complete the above sleazy statement. Or else, it might become a funny read more than anything else.

The burst of desire triggered a short-lived made out session, before we came into sight and joined Vamp again, giggling.

It was, intense.

The sensations from his touch was mind-boggling, tingling and exhilarating.

The nuzzlings to my neck were sensual.

I ran my hand down his back and wrung my arms round his neck. Sometimes caressing his cheeks along the way. Tasting his soft, lush lips between mine.

Gee, I wanna write something that seem sweet and romantic and it doesn’t seem like going that way.

We should have locked ourselves in the handicapped toilet or something.

Joke, okay, joke.

We joined Vamp at the deck chairs shortly after.

He sat at the deck chair opposite me, and dangled a bar of chocolate before me, like luring a bunny to a carrot.

I shifted over to the chair he was sitting on, and sat in the space in between his thighs, with him cuddling me from behind as we shared a bar of chocolate.

Vamp tried getting her camera to work, and took pictures of us, on and off.

Some pretty brilliant shots were taken.

Like the one he laid on my tummy, with his eyes closed, his arms scooping underneath my barely existent waist.

A few other nice shots, which you guys have no luxury of viewing.

We giggled as Vamp tried co-ordinating pictures that made us feel like muppets.

Interesting.

Phew.

***

Vamp brought me to this hairdresser in Telok Blangah, and SBB did not come along.

It was then a dye job, trimming, and such.

By the time it finished, it was already close to 9pm.

I have new hair colour, and smell of bleach.

The hairdresser even blew my hair straight, so I have straight hair for today!

But, the curls are slowly reclaiming their rights as the ends started to fray.

Interesting.

Vamp actually kinda like the style now, cos it gives a totally different, rebellious feel.

Er, I see.

Hmm.

Ah well.

Hung out for a while and went to Tiong Bahru market for dinner.

Rojak. Oyster Egg. Char Kuey Tiao. Duck Porridge.

All shared between the 2 of us.

And we walked away, still feeling hungry.

Wheee…

Ah.

Finally done with my recap.

And the phone call from SBB, who so much wanted to disrupt my sleeping pattern again.

It’s time for me to down some chips and KitKat Chunky.

I know how lethal the combination can be.

But, PMS ya know? What to do.

I have to give in to the needs of my body before it stages a riot much more than I can handle.

PMS is king. Or queen. Whatever.