Isn’t it amazing how music seems to stir us from time to time, or to evoke some darkest memories in the deep recesses of our minds?

This post will be a relatively simple one. Spoken by my words not.

About the songs which haunt me for quite a bit over the week.

For no reason. Perhaps, it was the catchy melody. Maybe, it was just the lyrics that feel close to the heart. Possibly, it makes me giggle as I reminisce the memories they bring fondly. Conceivably, what friends had shared about their innermost feelings through the songs.

Some memories, may just be a simple snippet, and are triggered by the familiar melody or such…

Alas, they could just pinch a little, because, some of these memories, or people, would have already slipped through our fingers, and are things of the past.

Or maybe, I am a thing of their past.

Ah well.

***

It was 26th September 2005.

Grouchy mood. In need of a major dose of affections. Incredibly sulkish.

I strutted towards the door, with my hand ready to depress the handle, ready to hit the showers.

It was moments after an intense session induced by those throes of passion.

The Winamp player aired the song randomly, and filled the dark room with its soothing, and er, romantic(?) tune.

Michael Buble.

Put your head on my shoulder

Put your head on my shoulder
Hold me in your arms, baby
Squeeze me oh so tight
Show me that you love me too

Put your lips next to mine, dear
Won’t you kiss me once, baby
Just a kiss goodnight, may be
You and I will fall in love

Some people say that love’s a game
A game you just can’t win
If there’s a way
I’ll find it someday
And then this fool will rush in

Put your head on my shoulder
Whisper in my ear, baby
Words I want to hear
Tell me, tell me that you love me too.

I felt the smooth, cool skin snaking around my naked midriff, and felt his grip tightening as he embraced me from behind.

‘Put your head on my shoulder…. da da da da da da….‘ I heard him crooned.

You must be thinking how incredible sweet it was right?

Actually, it was more of an act of goofism, when he suddenly propped his head kiddishly on my shoulder, and burst into perils of laughter.

I gave a roll-eyed esxpressions and chuckled too his sudden act of mischief.

As I scrambled into the bed right after coming out of the bathroom, and dive under those duvets, something hit me.

Wait a minute!

Mr SBB hates to sing!

That was the first time he ever sang. *Gasp in horror*

I had tried all ways and means to trick, coo, cheat, coax, lure, entice, pester, plead him to sing in the past, but he had always turned me down flat.

Invitations to the KTV was constantly snubbed, as usual.

Alright, to be fair, he could hold a decent tune, so I have no idea why he is always so sheepish about it.

Despite consistent pleads from me, he refused to sing again, and instead, laughed at his moment of silliness earlier on.

‘Don’t say you never hear me sing before huh!‘

Was that a tinge of shyness in his voice? Hahaha, that boy was incredibly self-conscious when asked to sing.

Darn.

So, this song, makes me laugh.

***

Same night. As we sat in front of the computer, I suddenly thought of the song VampTreSS sent me just a week prior to that night.

‘Sweetie! There’s a song I want you to hear! I didn’t even know such a song exist!‘

I sat him down snugly in the midst of the doughed up bunch of duvet, right in front of the monitor as I searched for the song on my Winamp player.

The moment he caught the lyrics, I dove right away from him, fearful he might launch a vicious vengeance bid at me.

I giggled and laughed cheekily as I did so.

He stared at me, begrudgingly, gave a conceded look, while trying to hide his laughter at the same time.

That basket, he did the downright despicable.

He went for the most sensitive spot on the lower half of my body….

…. My feet!

He grabbed my right foot, fastened it with his grip, and worked those fingers on it.

I can’t stand people tickling my foot! It’s inhumane! Unbearable!

Missy Elliot.

One Minute Man

Ooooooh, I don’t want I don’t need I can’t stand no minute man
I don’t want no minute man
Ooooooh, here’s your chance be a man take my hand understand
I don’t want no minute man

Ohh, ohh, uhh, OOOH
Ohh, ohh..
Ohh, ohh, uhh, OOOH
Ohh, ohh..

Boy I’ma make you love me, make you want me
And I’ma give you some attention, tonight
Now follow my intuitions, what you’re wishin
See I’ma keep you all night, for a long time
Just start countin the ways

[Chorus]
Break me off, show me what you got
Cause I don’t want, no one minute man
Break me off, show me what you got
Cause I don’t want, no one minute man
Break me off, show me what you got
Cause I don’t want, no one minute man
Break me off, show me what you got
Cause I don’t want, no..

Tonight I’ma give it to you, throw it to you
I want you to come prepared, ohhh yeah (oh yes)
Boy it’s been a long time, a crazy long time
And I don’t want no minute man, and that’s real
Give it to me some more

Yeah, uhh, uhh
It’s time to set yo’ clock back bout as long as you can
I stop daylight and Ludacris the maintenance man
Get your oil changed, I check fluids and transmission
You one minute FOOLS, you wonder why y’all missin
On the back of milk cartons and there’s no reward
No regards, close but it’s no cigar
A hard head make a soft ass, but a hard dick make the sex last
I jump in full to make a big splash
Water overflowin, so get your head right
It’s all in yo’ mind punk so keep your head tight
Enough with tips and advice and thangs
I’m big dog, havin women seein stripes and thangs
They go to sleep, start snorin, countin sheep and shit
They so wet, that they body start to leak and shit
Just cause I’m an ALL-nighter, shoot ALL fire
Ludacris, balance and rotate ALL tires

Remember how I used to blog about OMMism?

Having said that, SBB is not OMM B(who mocked OMM A) in question, whom I had blogged about almost 3 months ago.

Really. I don’t lie.

SBB is not OMM B.

I don’t lie. Really.

Okay, fine. Sometimes I do. But not often.

Not this time.

I wonder if you will call those famous last words from me.

***

Rewind the date back to 29th July.

After I lost 2 bucks to Finicky Feline.

After losing 2 bucks to Finicky Feline because of the darn kiss, the basket in SBB made him try his luck again after I dodged away from further smoochie actions.

I pursed my lips tight together, and sulked.

He tried again, and I didn’t return. Well, not used to, you see.

Cut the long story short(and to spare myself the blushes), when I finally succumbed and threw in my tongue for the game of tonsil tennis, I stopped and giggled.

George Michael was on Winamp.

You are far,
When I could have been your star,
You listened to people,
Who scared you to death, and from my heart,
Strange that I was wrong enough,
To think you’d love me too.
I guess you were kissing a fool,
You must have been kissing a fool.

At that time, I pushed myself away from him slightly, and paused.

‘Listen,’ I cued cheekily.

I hummed the final 3 words of the song, and pointed to him.

But I was smart enough to imply that he was the fool, not me. Muahahaha.

This song, reminds me of the day I painfully lost 2 bucks to Finicky Feline.

2 bucks, you know? Can buy a packet of Wanton Mee.

***

When I was studying in UK, one song touched me enough to create a lasting impression.

I suddenly had the urge to listen to it last night, and marvellous Mandrake had sent it to me.

R.E.M.

Everybody hurts

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on
Don’t let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong. now it’s time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on

’cause everybody hurts. take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. don’t throw your hand. oh, no. don’t throw your hand
If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you’re on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on

It accompanied me through the greyish days of gloomy London, and reminded me I am never alone.

Friends, this is for you, too.

***

Another song which brought back the struggling days in UK.

Verve - Bittersweet Symphony

Cos’ it’s a bittersweet symphony this life…
’cause it’s a bittersweet symphony, this life
Trying to make ends meet , you’re a slave to the money then you die.
Try to make ends meet
I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down…
You’re a slave to money then you die
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the pain lives , yeah.
I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down

You know the one that takes you to the places
No change, I can change, I can change, I can change,
Where all the veins meet yeah,
But I’m here in my mold , I am here in my mold.

But I’m a million different people from one day to the next…
No change, I can change
I can’t change my mould , no,no,no,no,no,no,no
I can change, I can change
No change, I can change, I can change, I can change,
Well I never pray
But I’m here in my mould , I am here in my mold.
But tonight I’m on my knees yeah
And I’m a million different people from one day to the next
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I can’t change my mould, no,no,no,no,no,no,no
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now

But the airways are clean and there’s nobody singing to me now
(well have you ever been down? )

(I can change, I can change…)
No change, I can change
I can’t change
(I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down)
I can’t change
(I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down)

(it justs sex and violence melody and silence)
’cause it’s a bittersweet symphony, this life
(been down)
Try to make ends meet
(ever been down)
Try to find some money then you die
(ever been down)
I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
Where all the things meet yeah

This song just simply grows on me.

Don’t know why.

The time when I knew it, I never knew its lyrics.

When I finally could grasp what they were, I fell for it even more.

***

This song, reminded me of the desoluted days when I tried to break free from all inhabitations, and make new friends, again.

As I ventured on to a new phase of my life.

Somehow, things didn’t go as expected, and I grew cynical and confused.

Everybody’s Changing - Keane
You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don’t see how you can

You’re aching, you’re breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody’s changing
And I don’t know why

So little time
Try to understand that I’m
Trying to make a move to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody’s changing
And I don’t feel the same

You’re gone from here
And soon you will disappear
Cause everybody’s changing
And I don’t feel right

It was also the reason, why I named my first gallery Everything’s Changing.

Somehow, everything is constantly evolving, and some bring you pleasant surprises you never expect would take place, and some, would bring you utterly shocking disappointments you would never be mentally-prepared for.

Such, is life.

Yet, I never feel right, especially when things changes.

I just wanna shrink back to that little haven, away from everyone.

It’s just me, perhaps.

***

The song that has been eating me up big time in recent days is the song by U2.

No special meaning to it.

It just makes me… melt.

With or Without You
See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I’m waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she’s got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And it reminded me…

***

The wind blew my hair into a mess, yet the tipsy feeling from the effect of alcohol rushing to my head induced the gigglish girlie in me.

I looked up to the unobstructed sky, and felt an utter sense of liberation.

If I could, I would want to stand up from the leather seat for a dance.

The smell of its spanking newness roused some sense of thrill.

From the player within the car, it was a song that mellowed me.

It too, was mellowed by the howling wind.

It always makes the melancholic me, wanting to skip around playfully with a slight hint of positivity, despite being down in the dumps.

It chirps me up in an odd way.

Norah Jones - Feelin’ the same way again
The sun just slipped its note below my door
And I can’t hide beneath my sheets
I’ve read the words before so now I know
The time has come again for me

And I’m feelin’ the same way all over again
Feelin’ the same way all over again
Singin’ the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend

Another day that I can’t find my head
My feet don’t look like they’re my own
I’ll try and find the floor below to stand
And I hope I reach it once again

And I’m feelin’ the same way all over again
Feelin’ the same way all over again
Singin’ the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend

Yeahhhh, Ohhhh, Yeahhh

So many times I wonder where I’ve gone
And how I found my way back in
I look around awhile for something lost
Maybe I’ll find it in the end

It was the same song, I heard at Swensen’s over supper, with SBB, just a couple of months ago.

***

Like this song, simply because I had felt the way it describes before.

Matchbox Twenty - Unwell
All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on

Feeling like I’m headed for a breakdown
And I don’t know why

But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be…me

I’m talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they’ve all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I’ve lost my mind

I’ve been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they’ll come to get me
Yeah, they’re taking me away

I was unwell. For a while.

Yeah.

***

And, the contributing factor to the title of this blog.

Fastball - Out of My Mind
Sometimes I feel
Like I am drunk behind the wheel
The wheel of possibility
However it may roll

Give it a spin
See if you can somehow factor in
You know there’s always more than one way
To say exactly what you mean to say

Was I out of my head? Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an indication
It was hard to find
Don’t matter what I say, only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If you’re sad then it’s time you spoke up too

Yeap, this is the song, that prompted this blog’s title.

Was I out of my mind? Perhaps so.

Thus, the substance that came straight out of my mind.

***

Just a song with its tune running over and over again, stuck in my head.

Bic Runga - Sway
Don’t stray, don’t ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes, when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time
Don’t let me drown, let me down
I say it’s all because of you

And here I go, losing my control
I’m practising your name so I can say it to your face
It doesn’t seem right, to look you in the eye
Let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed it’s time to tell you why
I say it’s infintely true

CHORUS:
Say you’ll stay, don’t come and go
Like you do
Sway my way, yeah I need to know
All about you

And there’s no cure, and no way to be sure
Why everything’s turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired - I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now it all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon

It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you

Now it all turns sour, come sweeten every afternoon
It’s time to tell you why, I say it’s infinitely true

***

And, a song reminded me of a friend of the past.

Sometimes, it is weird how things will go, and somehow a friend would slip away through the fingers, just like that.

You don’t know how things evolved to such an extent, and have absolutely no idea if it’s a good idea to establish contact again.

Is that why friends drift away?

Circumstances made it difficult to become friends? Perhaps.

I don’t know.

Suddenly I am at a loss of words, cos I seriously don’t know what to make out of the whole situation.

I am at fault for walking away, as well.

And I am not sure if it is right of me to suddenly mention of this, cos it’s better to leave the dead rested, no?

But I guess it’s pretty safe for me to bring up this again, cos I am pretty sure those people around him, including him, would cease to read this blog.

He’s someone talented, and of extremely good nature. A friend I truly enjoyed being out with.

His friendship was definitely a gift, and he is the sweetest pea around with how he handmade a card for me, and all the nice things he has to say about people around him.

Things were platonic until… until.. I don’t know when, and how, things changed.

I wished they didn’t.

I am bad with situations like these.

As usual, I got freaked out. It got me at a bad time, when I shied away from most people too, and I was aware of the negative effects I had on him.

I admit I didn’t quite handle everything tactfully.

Slowly, we ceased to talk.

I still see the MSN nick online on most days, but somehow, even when I clicked on his nick, I hesitated cos I have no idea how to start a conversation.

Perhaps it has to do with a certain post he wrote, subtlely hinting something about me.

I might have read too much into it, but it was something I felt, was that what he thought of me was misjudgment on his part.

No, he didn’t say so, but, it was… just a feeling. And I decide to leave it as that.

Somehow, it’s odd. I don’t know how to express myself till this part of the entry.

I shall end off, with the file to the final song.

Click here to download.

It’s a song, that reminded me of a sweet friend from recent past.

Bittersweet.

And yes, he wrote, and sang that.

***

So, what is one song you have in mind, that’s haunting you right now?

I wish I can carry on, but the nagging pain on the right side of my head is annoying.

It makes me unable to think straight either.

Somehow, I am reluctant to sleep today.

Wonder if it is those dreams that put me off?

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.