As usual, I will make good use of a weekend night to stay up for an entry.

I have given up planning for what to write in my entry, cos my thoughts are of the tiniest fragments and I just can’t seem to put them together into something concrete.

Cluttered, unsorted, littered, bits and pieces which I have no idea how to categorise them into proper segments.

Did I mention how I love the last quarter of the year? November and December are my favourite months, and the early, chilling thunderstorms had added October 2005 into my favourite list, as well.

My fear, sometimes, brings me my favourite moments.

***

I spent most of my Friday drifting in and out of consciousness.

I was amused when 4 people asked if I ever sleep when I was still online at 2am.

It’s Friday, darlings! Though a weekday or the weekend would make no difference to me.

If only they knew.

If only they knew how my Friday had been.

It’s strange sometimes how I can cope with my last minuteness.

My social visit pass would expired on the 28th, and since my medical report was out only on the 27th, it gave me just enough time to collect it before I overstay in Singapore without a valid pass.

A 3 hours plus kinkyinteresting phone call with SBB had lustedlasted till 7 plus early Friday morning(tsk tsk tsk!), with the faint morning rays reminding us of our overindulgence.

I had to collect my pass by noon, or else I would take up the status of an illegal immigrant.

I had barely an hour of sleep before Dad called to wake me up, and informed me that he was on his way back to pick me up.

In my daze, I gathered all the necessary documents and stuffs, and left home with barely a sober cell in me.

By 9.45am, we were there at Ministry of Manpower, and the efficiency was a drastic change from the time when the department was still under ICA.

By 9.51am, I submitted my in-principle approval letter and medical report, and it was done.Gone were the days I exhausted 2 hours of wait just to submit my documents.

‘Come back anytime after 1pm,‘ I was told.

If I am still conscious, I thought to myself.

Had breakfast with dad, before he dropped me home slightly before 11am.

Over the meal, dad told me how his friend had called to ask him about his heart attack episode. The topic was then brought on to that very day that nearly costed him his life.

The day when the man who used to carry me, fight with me, piggyback me, go on roller coaster rides with me, and always a picture of strength, left my life for good.

He was my hero, the strongest man I ever knew when he was younger.

A mellowed man took his place since that day, and he became a fragile picture I distanced myself from, for the fear of breaking him.

I managed to stay awake till slightly past noon, before I slipped into an absolute state of comatose.

6.15pm. I sat up from my slumber. Tried to stay up, but an hour and a chapter of my book later, my fatigue got the better of me, and I was tucked deep under my duvets again.

I didn’t wake up until slightly past midnight.

So, in all. 1 + 6 + 5 = 12 hours.

Who says I don’t sleep?

Blog. Blog-reading. Reading. Emailing. Watching Discovery channel. Photo-editing. Video-editing. Brief MSN chatting.

Oh, the time is now 6.10am.

Bye Friday, hello Saturday.

Gee.

***

FEELIN’ THE DREAD - Tuesday, 25th October

It was 5pm when I finally woke up.

No good. No good.

I had a chat with a friend, someone who always seems so fragile to me.

She told me how someone, a friend, had ripped her graphics, and hadn’t asked her permission for it.

In retaliation, she blogged that the friend should have the basic courtesy to give her the credits, and at least, informed her. She wouldn’t even mind sending her if she asked for it.

The friend, got defensive, and then attacked her by writing a spiteful entry, accusing my friend of thinking too highly of herself and even went to the extend of saying how she despises people who go for plastic surgery to make themselves prettier.

My friend, had went for a corrective surgery to improve a condition, which ended up changing her looks drastically cos the condition was more severe than normal cases.

But since her looks has too great a change, everyone had been gossiping and talking about her radical change in outlooks.

To me, she has been a gem, and is pretty in her own rights with her graceful and demure nature when I had known her.

What she lacks, is a solid dose of confidence, which is the reason why she had shunned away from people.

Guarded, she is. But that doesn’t mean she is just being stuck up.

She is a sweetheart. Though I had never met her in person, she had dropped by my workplace in March, to leave a package with my colleagues, cos she knew it was my birthday.

To be frank, I had done the same corrective surgery, like a dozen of my other friends had(some had their problems detected early, and done it when they were in their teens). Just that my problem was a minor one, the shiftings of my teeth was a compromise, and my looks didn’t have much changes like hers, or my cell group mate’s.

Nothing was injected, no silicon was thrown in, nothing was built out of nothing, but just a surgery to fix the jaw in the place it should be.

So I don’t see the name-callings just, simply because someone exposed her of ripping something that didn’t belong to her.

She corrected something that should rightfully belong to her, just that it affected her looks, but what about you?

You stole something that didn’t belong to you, and when people praised you, you didn’t credit her, at all.

You had tried to be close to her, wanting her to be your close friend, falling for pink cos she likes it, and adoring everything that she had fancied. You almost seem like you are eager to take her form.

But when confronted, you turned evil and was sour, and put her down when you know it is where it would hurt most with her dwindling self-confidence.

Why?

Friendship is such a quaint thing, isn’t it?

I went to help out again on Tuesday night, and making my way home alone, was a tiring chore.

I would be within a bunch of teens, who would knock off together with their own pals, and I would stroll along the lonely streets by myself, hardly belonging.

Seriously, that feeling sucks.

Big time.

I can’t describe how glad it was when I finally could flip open my book, standing against the glass panel on the train, getting my mind off into a realm of fiction, without a care for the reality.

11pm, it already was. I heaved a heavy sigh of relief.

And yes, Happy er, 20-something-th birthday, to a beloved gem.

***

LOSIN’ HER VIRGINITY - Wednesday 26th October 2005

I spent most of the night before doing some video editing, but the basket program gave up on me and I was unable to open any of the files on Wednesday.

Demoralised, and greatly disturbed.

Anyway.

A friend, who wants to remain anonymous. Friend J, we shall call her.

Friend J had needed my help with her studies, and overestimating my own abilities, I agreed readily.

I pity her bad choice of teacher. The last time I was in touch with the subject, was 8 freaking years ago.

I spent most of the time trying to refresh my memory, then, figured out the solutions, before I could pass on to her what I had picked up again in that few minutes. The whole session dragged for hours.

It became quite a stressful event for both of us as we hit dead-ends consistently.

I thought I loved Mathematics. I am not so sure anymore.

I hated Physics and English the most in the past. And I am not so sure anymore, too.

It was then when Friend J told me about her new relationship with a much-older man, for almost 3 months.

Somehow, with my sharp sense of intuition, I asked an awkward question, matter-of-factly out of nowhere.

‘Eh, rememeber that time you told me you are still virgin right? So how? What’s the status now?‘

She was rather taken aback with my sudden question, and unexpected, she admitted sheepishly that she had JUST lost her, er, virginity.

*Gasp*

What a timely question. I awe myself with my acute timing.

The stifling evening took a turn.

I thought I was supposed to educate her on Mathematics, but I didn’t expect to be coaching her on sex instead.

She called Janice, and asked if she wanted to join us at my place instead.

Coincidentally, Janice was nearby in Bukit Gombak, and was gamed when I joked we are having a ‘celebration’ for, er, J’s new status.

We ordered McDonald’s for our girls’ night in, and we started updating each other about the newest developments in our lives, and the 2 of them then climbed into my cosy bed, and tucked themselves comfortably under the duvet, as I sat at the foot of the bed, having one of the most hilarious girls’ talks of my life.

In a way, we were still tutoring her. Really.

She was really funny when she shared the encounters of her first time, and she were asking questions, whereas Janice was trying to get me in bed with her.

Questions like: Can I ask a question, don’t laugh at me okay? What is spooning? How do you move when on top? How do you know you are blowing a guy right? How is anal sex like? How to achieve orgasm? How does orgasm feel like?

I feared for my safety with Janice around, cos she looked like she was going to jump me anytime.

And I was supposed to blog an entry on Thursday to ‘declare’ my status to the both of them.

Yes darlings, I am still a virgin. For now. Phew. (private joke)

There was a classic moment when they mentioned something about my bedsheets, and I jokingly replied something that it would be for their own good if they don’t know much, or else they would be scrambling off my bed in less than a millisecond.

They frozed for a moment.

And Janiceone of them suddenly started rolling around my bed and exclaimed, ‘Aye, who cares, yay, I am rolling in SBB’s essence.‘

I widened my eyes in disbelief and Friend Jthe other one was so traumatised that she buried her face into my pillow in shock.

Friend J then suddenly halted the moment and asked, ‘How do girls go on top? I mean, how do you move huh?’

I rolled my eyes and gave an exasperated look, whilst Janice almost gave a ‘tsk!’ with the same look of ‘duh’.

It was almost instantaneous when I saw Janice moved and sat up, whilst I got to my knees at the exact same moment.

I looked at Janice and we both burst into fits of giggles, throwing a hi-five knowing what was going on in our minds.

We had both wanted to do a demostration. And it was more funny than crude, seriously.

Friend J walked away a very knowledgeable lady, though we still couldn’t answer her on how-to-achieve-orgasms.

I can’t describe to her how an orgasm is like in plain terms either.

Seriously, Janice and I don’t have any practical knowledge on sex. We just told her whatever we had read from magazines and internet.

Really.

Really.

Honestly.

*Cough*

Another moment of great-minds-think-alike, was when Janice suddenly threw a look at me, and I knew exactly what she was going to ask next.

Before she could, I gave her an assertive ‘Are you crazy? No!‘.

When Janice had shared with Friend J the juicy piece of information, the 2 of them coerced me into showing them….. something I had wanted to write about.

Okay fine.

Erm.

My dildo. And bullet-vibrator(it sucks, and doesn’t work).

No, I didn’t get them for myself. Gifts. Some sort of a surprise.

And the giver had wanted me to blog about them, and I just haven’t got the courage time to do so.

Next post, alright?

Anyway. The wanted to see it.

I shall not mention the surprise came with a tube of KY.

So I threw the tube at them, for them to pore over, and I whipped out my 6-and-half inches dildo(sounds so.. wrong), and the 3 of us examined it carefully.

They didn’t touch it, of course. Muahahaha.

We were all bewildered, since we never quite know what dildo and bullet-vibrator are like/for.

It was so odd when we started comparing the size of it(since it is modelled and shaped like a real thing) to the men in our lives.

Past or present. Whatever.

And I started to wonder if I had been grossly short(*cough*)-changed in the past(see SBB, I AM nice, for once), or something.

Girls’ nights are fun. I never had such good laughs for a long while.

Friend J was incredibly funny when she said, ‘Eh, stop saying all these things already, wait we have to borrow your dildo.’

*Gasp in utter horror*

‘Go ahead, I don’t think I need it tonight. Meeting SBB later.’ ‘Why the hell did I allow you mad women into my home today?’

They finally left just before midnight, before I launched into my homely mode, and cleared the house of its mess.

SBB dropped by after they left, and we fell asleep around 4am.

It had been a long while since I slept that early.

THAT COLD, COLD NIGHT — THURSDAY, 27th October 2005

Perhaps my body wasn’t quite well-adjusted to the time-change, and I was awoken a few times, mostly due to the soft grunts in his sleep.

It was 11 plus when I finally woke up, and couldn’t go back to sleep, however tired I was.

I ended up disturbing him in his sleep, and he finally relented and woke up at 2 plus.

We dragged the time before we finally got out of bed at 3 plus, heading down to Orchard.

As we made our way out, my phone beeped.

Coen. Since we were on our way, it was quite impossible for me to answer the call.

Went to Lido for lunch, before he sent me to SGH to collect my medical report at late 4, and he parted to run his errands.

I collected my X-ray, and it was when I was there in the hospital, talking to a nurse, when Coen’s number flashed on my screen again.

I didn’t answer again. Oops.

Suddenly, I am tired, and don’t feel like blogging anymore.

I will be too tired to put my eventful Thursday into words. It was a beautiful Thursday.

I shall go and have some sleep before I join Wenmei and the other babes for KTV session later at 2pm.

So tonight, I shall confine myself at home to finish up my recaps for Thursday, with pictures thrown in.

And today’s KTV session too.

Sounds good?

Definitely so, to me. At least wouldn’t bore people out there with the half-heartedness.

Ciao.