If I were to collapse right now and die, I wonder what the cause of death will be.
I narrowed it down to 2 possibilities.
Screwed up sleeping pattern, OR, screwed up eating pattern.
Though I would like to list lack of horizontal desserts(thus, screwed up hormonal pattern) as one, but since I managed to survive 17 months(and yes, blardy proud of it too!) without any, not even any form of self service, I supposed I wouldn’t really die from it.
Wait.
And perhaps very bad sitting posture.
My cervical vetebrae has this sharp pain that made sitting up for a long while to concentrate on the monitor almost impossible.
Ironically, it would miraculously go away when I am sitting in front of the mahjong table.
Wait.
Add boredom as one of the culprits might just do. Well, I guess boredom is a constant murderer when everyone loves to say ‘bored to death’.
Now, I do wonder will I really die from it.
3 possibilities then.
Well, I should be glad(some of you should be glad too) that I have safely eliminate suicide as one of the probabilites.
SBB gave me a wake up call at 3pm this noon.
I didn’t realise how tired I was even though I had slept at… um… *tiny voice* 8am this morning.
I officially declare, reading is evil.
Very, very evil.
But still, you can’t blame a very intellectual and beautiful lady to have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, can you?
I am very proud to say, I picked up 3 books in 3 days.
Thus, that explains the lack of updates from me since the concert(throw in the aching cervical vetebrae).
Spent around half an hour on the phone, before I burrowed into the depths of cosiness when the sky decided to stage a riot.
How… condusive.
When I finally woke up to greet the day, it was a phone call from Denise and Alvin that came in at past 6 in the evening.
-Gasp gasp gasp-
That’s the latest I had woken up for a blardy long while, and I am not ready to succumb to that again kind of insane sleeping hours again.
SBB mocked that I am a piggie over SMS, and I wonder who is worse among the 2. -sneer-
***
I shall make a serious consideration of switching from blogging in English to blogging in Chinese.
I mean, hello? When I blog in English, I get an average of 3 or *yawn* 4 comments, but when I blog in Chinese, wooohooo, 37? Insane or what?
But! But! But!
I am so lazy typing out in Chinese. It’s no good for my spine too, either.
So if you guys are really thirsty for brilliant, funny and substance-filled worthy reads in Chinese, I shall recommend you…. C2pid!
I wonder how that insane man could type so much and fast in Chinese.
Well, as an ex-scriptwriter responsible for quite a fair bit of thrashy original local dramas, I shan’t be making the comparison.
And I learnt a great deal about blogging.
Nothing you blog is ever gonna be private.
So, I can’t ‘badmouth’ anyone in my blog anymore.
Imagine my horror my frail heart sustained when I mentioned about certain DJ in my previous entry, and he actually could identity the minute section(I didn’t even name him!), and left a comment.
Maybe I should blog about David Tao more often and see if he would get to read it, and perhaps, he would consider leaving a comment.
*Cough*
Kidding.
***
And from one of the comments left by someone, who made me aware of this particular mandarin song that I adore, is actually written by the vocalist, David, whom I mentioned in the previous entry.
Then, it occured to me that I liked that song so much that once, someone(I tried recalling who, but am not able to) sent me the English demo version, and told me it was his friend, a local who wrote it.
I have that MP3 with me since(couple of years back), and it was named Strength - David.
I put one and one together, and realised that the MP3 I had kept, was actually by the guy who *cough* mesmerised me that night at the concert, someone I had met earlier.
Gee, it’s cool how surprising things work, eh?
***
I seriously have no idea what to blog about today, though I don’t think it would be short.
***
I didn’t manage to have enough sleep after the concert.
I only managed to sleep late morning on Sunday, and woke up 4 or 5 hours later in the noon. 4pm, perhaps.
Feeling bored, I picked up my book, and finished it by 8pm.
Something in me felt that it wasn’t quite enough.
I put on a quick change of clothes, and headed out to West Mall, after checking online if there are any 2nd hand bookshops around my area.
Got myself 2 books, and grabbed a quick dinner by myself before I headed home.
Alvin had called to ask if I was free for the usual.
Mahjong, that is.
Sure.
He picked me up around half past 10, and we heading to Chee Kiong’s place, but the night ended prematurely after half a round, when Kiong’s girlfriend wasn’t quite happy with that, that made Kiong to make a difficult decision.
It was no biggie to us, and we left.
I guess it was a timely decision. The moment I hopped onto Alvin’s car, I could feel the terrible headache I had slightly more than a week back, was back. On the right skull, yet again.
SBB called around 4 plus in the morning, and asked about the night.
I just got back.
I casually said when he asked why was I still up.
So where did you go sweetie?
It was one of those what-did-you-do-for-the-day talks we have routinely, cos his sense of originality only brings him that far. Muahahaha.
Some guy’s place… Hmm..
I answered with cheeky ambiguity.
What did you do there?
Oh, I had a nice shag, that’s about it.
Yeah, right.
He saw through the obvious lie.
Why? You think that if one day I were to move on I would not really tell you honestly?
I asked inquisitely.
No, not that.
His answer was one of matter-of-fact. He knew I would. I suppose.
Hmmm…
So what did you do at your guy friend’s place.
Mahjong, the usual.
How boring, my life is.
***
The headache was absolutely awful.
So awful that it kept me awake all the way till 7 in the morning, and I could hardly breathe.
The lack of oxygen caused me to yawn and I was tearing from the right eye ceaselessly.
It was the same excruciating pain that nauseated me, and I nearly puked the drinks I had earlier out.
Standing up to make a trip to the washroom felt as if I was on a ship, and that I was seasick.
To distract myself from the pain, and the fact that I couldn’t really sleep nor blog(too painful to think), I ended up finishing half of my book before fatigue battled over the pain and I retired for the night.
***
I was jokingly thinking if it was possible that I might be having a brain tumour or some sort.
I even read up neurology for a good laugh.
But after talking to a dear, dear friend(that’s how dear she is to me) whom I haven’t spoke to for a long while earlier today, made me realise that a mutual pal of ours had recently gotten a brain tumour, and had it removed.
I haven’t been catching up with the said friend, nor the dear friend for a long while though they are both on my MSN list for the longest time.
His case is a genuine one, and I can’t believe that I had actually wanted to mention something regarding neurology light-heartedly in this post.
He found out about it one day when he was watching television, and he started to feel such a tremendously bad headache that he started barfing non-stop.
He sorted fainted and that was how it was discovered.
After it was removed, half of his body was paralysed. But I am so relieved and glad to hear that he is recovering well.
I can’t imagine if it was really me, cos I would doubt I would ever have the strength in me to deal with the initial shock and the harsh recovery period.
I would be thinking of all the worst possible scenerios.
I would be wondering if I look good bald though.
Get well soon, friend. You are strong and you know it. I am glad that you fought a tough battle, and is on a recovery of miraculous speed.
Bless you.
***
I spent 8pm to past 1am at Alvin’s for another game of… you guess it, Mahjong, today.
I was on such a streak of bad luck for the 1st round that, it was almost impossible for me to win despite waiting for the win very early in the game and that my hands were pretty nice…
Eventually, I ended the first round, being the only loser, down by 50 bucks! 35 to Denise, and 15 to Eric. Alvin broke even,
Can you blardy believe that?
When Edmund arrived at around 11, we had a change of seats, and suddenly my luck was picking up.
At the end of the night, for the 2nd round, I was the sole winner, and Denise lost 30 plus to me, Eric lost 15 to me. Edmund broke even.
When people say I am a lady of extremes, I didn’t expect them to mean such too.
Oh well.
I should be glad I am not broke.
Yay.
***
Now.
As I hear the rain pelting on my windows, I suddenly have this rekindled positivity in me.
Sadly, I know none of my positivities stay with me long enough to make me a constantly happy person.
Ah well.
I feel like holing up under the duvet and continuing with my read.
***
I did blog.
Somewhere.
Thrice.
So, I am actually quite productive these days.
***
I did something really silly in my sleep today.
I head butted the wall.
I heard a loud thud and FELT the pain when I was making a toss on the bed, and it woke me up immediately, as I whimpered for a few seconds before going back to sleep.
Now, now. It gives me a blardy good reason for me to get a head board for my blardy bed.
Maybe that explains the constant headaches I am having these days.
I didn’t know that I am even clumsy in my sleep.
And no, I didn’t hear an echo within when I hit my head, thus meaning, it ain’t hollow.
Thank you very much.
***
Monday.
I woke up around half past 2, after the book kept me awake till 7 in the morning.
I took a bus to Jurong East Central to run some errands, and took a walk to the nearby coffeeshop and had late lunch by myself.
I learnt a lesson.
Never use your EZLink card as a bookmark for the book you are reading.
Apparently, the card, which bore a value of 7 bucks(heart pain, alright?) in it, slipped out of the book when I was making my way to the bank.
Then again, on hindsight, never use a cash cheque with a value of a grand as your bookmark either.
Cos, you might be just glad that it was the EZlink card that slipped and not the cash cheque.
Phew.
I shouldn’t be complaining much, should I?
***
I swear I was going to walk home cos the weather was so cooling and nice.
And that I just had lunch and I felt really guilty about it.
And that I had just lost my EZlink card.
But, but, but!
It started drizzling.
So, it was just a very natural thing when my right hand shot up to stop the cab in sight.
Sigh.
The weather! Not me.
I couldn’t possibly take a bus home cos it is a long walk from the bus stop to my apartment.
It doesn’t quite make sense right?
Right.
***
SBB called after I had gotten back, and I giggled my way through on how I lost my EZlink card, and that I had some sort of premonition just before I left the house.
I even thought that it would be really hilarious if I lose my cheque, with it wedged between the pages, and thus, I was taking extra note of it.
Never did I expect I would really lose something.
Well done, Sweetie. You should be really glad you lose your EZlink card.
Thanks. The sardonic tone was so blardy obvious, you pig. Hmph. I am not usually that mistake-prone, alright?
***
Sweetie, you cheated! The last post on your blog! That’s cheating!
I could almost imagine the mock pout on his face as SBB hmphf-ed his way down the phone.
Serve you right for not understanding Chinese well.
I could offer you free lessons, ya know?
But, my rules, sweets.
You listen to me, and you have no rights to go against anything I say.
How does that sound?
Kinky Fair?
Whee. Next time I shall blog in Chinese whenever I wanna bitch about FF Jane Doe Mr Ex Make it 2 Mr Ex-es, since both guys suck at ChineseSBB.
I made a scary discovery.
Despite my penchant for Chinese language AND culture AND literature AND men(what so surprising about that?), I have never slept with one who could read Chinese well.
Maybe just one.
Do I see a pattern here or something?
No wonder my Mandarin is becoming sucky.
No puns intended.
***
Evening. House phone rang.
A sickly, weak voice that sounded forceless greeted me.
Hello… Ting…?
Yup?
Are you at home huh?
DUH. What kind of clever question was that? I just answered the house phone didn’t I?
Amazingly, I didn’t state the obvious with any exasperation.
Patience, I reminded myself.
Yeah, at home.
.. I am feeling very miserable. I am having a very bad tummyache, and I couldn’t stop puking. I couldn’t really walk either.
I could really hear the pain in her voice, and was getting slightly concerned.
What’s wrong? You feeling okay?
Wow, I never knew I was so capable of sounding so mellowed talking to her.
Is Dad at home with you?
No.
Can you ask him to come back? I… -fill in the repetition of her misery here-
Why not you go to see a doctor first?
I wasn’t patronising her. I really did want her to get some form of medical attention with the way she was sounding over the phone.
I can’t really walk, feeling too weak.
I am sure you have friends right? Get someone to come over and send you to the clinic or something.
She just didn’t get it, did she.
Get your Dad to come back earlier… I... -repeat the above-
Yeah, I know. But at least get someone to send you lah…
I don’t know anyone here.
Yeah, right.
Your neighbour or something? Or those people you attend your religious gatherings? Go get some medical attention first, will ya?
Call your Dad to come back earlier..
Yes, yes, I know. You go get someone to send you go to the clinic first and I will call him to go back. Wait for him for what?
I sounded as if I was coaxing some stubborn, sulking young girl as I said that.
The most patient I had ever been with her, I reckon.
***
I dialed for him, and his usual cheery voice upon hearing mine chirped.
Dad, where are you?
Am in town, at the clan. What’s up?
Mum just called and she sounded really bad over the phone. I think she doesn’t feel very well.
The mention of her set him off the wrong way.
Ai yah! She is always like that one. Just ignore her, only like to gain sympathy.
There was abundant annoyance in his voice.
I know, but she does sound really bad just now. Go back early and have a look at her la.
I retorted with a dash of impatience to him. Rare.
If she is really so unwell, she can go and see a doctor herself, can’t she? She is always like that one.
Yeah, I know. I already asked her to get the neighbours to send her to the clinic, but can’t you just check on her?
I was almost sounding as if I was ready to get into an argument with him. Or it already was an argument itself.
He brushed me off with a harsh tone as if I was nagging at him a tad too much, and we ended the phone call as if we were ready to smash the phone onto the cradle, in my case, and him, pressing on the ‘End Call’ button as if it was a detestable insect.
***
It was 8 plus in the evening, when my handphone beeped.
Dad.
Where are you?
At home.
Wanna have dinner? I am hungry and I have yet to eat.
Despite having a very late lunch that still left an aftertaste in my system, I decided that I really did want to spend more time with him.
Okay.
I pick you up in 15 minutes time.
Alright. See ya.
***
I grinned a smile of victory to myself.
If he was going to meet me for dinner, it would mean that he had left the clan early, and would be heading home back to Malaysia after dinner.
Despite showing that he didn’t give a damn and wouldn’t want to leave whatever he was doing earlier, the dinner invitation gave it away that he was still going home early.
It was also his way of making sure I have my dinner.
I always tell him that I tend to skip dinner cos I don’t really like to eat alone, and cooking for ownself is a stupid and uneconomical thing to do.
***
He picked me up and we went to the nearby coffeeshop, and I didn’t feel like having much.
Eventually, I ordered Roti Prata and he couldn’t help but pinch from my plate.
Dad doesn’t like to indulge in overly oily food since his bypass surgery a dozen years back.
He ordered Pork Chop, and despite my promise to my body that I wouldn’t add another inch of lard to it, I relented to my lack of self control and pinched from his plate.
It was rather fun as we shared and attacked each other’s food, and making small talks about this and that.
He complained slightly, and sulked a little, saying how the causeway would be really jam at this time, and he would take the 2nd link, which is more inconvenient.
Eventually he excused himself to buy some bread. And he even packed some food, obviously for the sickly one at home.
Something soupy and light.
I am not sure if it was that a daughter’s request was itself persuasive, or that he didn’t want to admit that he did care.
It eased my concern to know that he would be by her side for the night.
***
Now, I can’t help but wonder if this is how ‘care’ works in the family.
The sharp, pointed words hanging loosely from the mouths, triggered countless hostile verbal sparrings, and at the end of the day, it is from the tiny gestures that gave ourselves away, and yet no one would ever want to put down the stubborn prides of theirs to admit that they do, indeed, care.
I shudder to think that I have to admit that I do.
I really hope she is doing better and recovering well now.
It was a sweet night to remember.
To me.
***
Perhaps, I should learn to spare a bit of the sweetness for the folks at home, and leave the harshness to the sinister world.
***
I got back from dinner, and finished my book.
Where Rainbows End.
And I started onto the next book instantaneously.
The Lesson of Her Death.
SBB called really late, and was apologetic cos he was so occupied with his stuff that he had forgotten to call. Ended the call when it was almost 6 in the morning.
And the moment I finish with this, I shall hit back the book.
I can feel the nagging sharp tug at the right side of my head again.
***
The last day of November.
And we hereby prance over to the last month of the year.
How swift.
Terrifyingly so.
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