My life has been so monotonous that there is hardly anything worth writing about.

Bland! Bland! Bland!

No exciting sex life, no wide arrays of men drop dead at my feet, worshipping the ground I walk on, no intellectual bullshit from me, no inspirations, no exciting programs, no dates, no nothing!

Woe is me!

See! I even reached home by 12.30am on a Saturday night, after hopping on the last train, even though I had only headed out of home at 8pm!

Alright.

I shall spend my Saturday night recapping the past 3 days, and leave the 1st 3 days of the week’s recap till tomorrow(or else I have nothing else to do tomorrow, no?! It’s Sunday and I would be home-bound again. Alright, fine, it is just that if I recap 6 days in one go, it would probably be yawn-inducingly long).

On a more serious tone, perhaps I am contended with the quiet nights in, rather than a loud and boisterous affair out in town, which most probably will sap up my financial reserves faster than I can say ‘Dad, it’s the time of the month for my allowance yuh?‘.

Woops. I sound like a mega brat there, no less.

***

Thursday - 17th November.

I was feeling too sickly to be venturing anywhere on Thursday.

A morning call from SBB came in at around 12.30pm on my handphone, and I realised I had kicked my house phone off the hook after an 11-hour sleep.

Spoke to the man for about an hour and half before he headed off to his nap.

The headache from the night before, was stil there, double in its effect.

I don’t believe in depending on painkillers for aches, but yet the stinging pain on the right side of my skull was getting on my nerves.

I reached out for a dose of it, hoping it will curb the pain.

Feeling nauseous, I thought a walk out to get me some food would do me some good.

And that, I did.

The roads were damp from the showers earlier that morning, and my light-headedness caused me to slip a little.

Slipping, is different from tripping, and it wasn’t my clumsiness, alright?

I regained my composure, still feeling too groggy.

Not knowing why my body was reacting so violently to whatsoever reasons, I was hoping a dose of lunch would make it go away.

Wrong move.

I felt increasingly uncomfortable as I finished my noodles, and I started breaking out in cold sweats, my body shaking involuntarily.

I almost felt too weak to stand up to cross the street to walk home.

I took gulps from my cup of iced tea, regulated my breathing a little to control the urge to puke, and made a quick dash home, without even doing any grocery shopping as intended.

Tried to nap, but the headache was too much a nuisance to ignore.

But the painkiller was slowly taking effect, and I could feel the tension lifted off the back of my head.

I did a little blogging but was feeling too groggy to continue. As the effect wore off, I could feel the stingy pain creeping back from the back of my head, slowly up to the peak of my skull.

Wenmei messaged me to join her and the girlies for dinner, and I declined cos I seriously didn’t think I could make it out on a night like this.

Couple of hours later, Finicky Feline called me up to ask me if I would love to join Tetanus and Reminisce for drinks.

I declined, citing that my headache is too much a bitch for me to join. She had said that she would only join them if I went along, and we wouldn’t stay out late for the night cos she had work the next day.

Thinking that it had been a long while since we caught up with Tetanus, and that he might have some plans to uproot overseas, I thought I wouldn’t mind joining them for a while.

Bad move.

I thought I couldn’t feel my feet when I crossed the overhead bridge to the MRT station.

I am so proud of myself. I took public transport, ya know?

And, the most impressive thing of all?

I took 5 minutes to throw on a pair of jeans, a tee, grabbed a bag, threw in my wallet and some cash, and off the door I went.

***

Something is terribly wrong with me. I am in one of my I-can’t-be-bothered-with-how-I-look phase cos I am feeling so terrible about myself.

I went out on Monday in slippers, with my wallet, key and handphone in the grasp of my hand, without a bag(I was wearing a dress somemore! Just because I am too lazy to theme anything together).

I went out on Tuesday in track pants, slippers, glasses. Makeupless.

I went out on Thursday bespectacled, hair dishevelled, makeupless, too.

Friday. Shorts. Slippers. Tee. Glasses.

Saturday. See Thursday’s description. In track shoes. Book in hand.

I didn’t feel like venturing to anywhere in town.

Cos I am in one of those I-hate-the-way-I-look-and-I-don’t-belong-to-the-fanciful-town moods.

Am disgusted with what I saw in the mirror, and seriously, if I have the money, I would go for plastic surgery just to look pretty.

I already came up with a list of thing I would love to do to myself.

Muahahaha. Check out the next post for details.

***

FF picked me up in a cab at Commonwealth station, and we headed to Emerald Hill together to meet the rest at Que Pasa.

Tetanus, Reminisce and Littlemissdrinkalot were already there.

I alighted from the cab, feeling as if I was out of this world.

***

We gasped in flabbergastion shock horror awe admiration when we saw how suave Reminisce was, after ditching his geeky hairstyle for an act-cool a stylish crop, bringing out the wannabe youth in him.

The King of Fairies gave him a stamp of approval.

Now, now. The King of Fairies had demanded a price, to teach Reminisce to sashay strut sway waltz swagger the way he does, with the shoulder movements thrown in.

Look no further my young padawan, I could do a good mimick of it(someone better give me a stamp of approval for it), and I would teach you for free.

In exchange, may I have a boob-job for free?

***

I popped a pill with some fabulous white wine(FF! What’s the name of the wine again?), with the go-ahead given by the doctor.

We ordered some yummy chicken wings and pizza to go along with the wine and painkiller. Oh, orange juice, too.

Still, the headache wouldn’t go away.

For most of the evening, I was either in a kooky daze, restless, or feeling edgy, battling the headache with my will.

Suddenly, we thought of the possibility of nicotine withdrawal symptoms(now, that’s another story altogether which I shall let rip in the next recap), and FF quickly whipped out her nicotine gum, and offered one to me.

I am not sure if it was the white wine, or the gum, and I felt slightly high thereafter.

I started launching into my excessive chatty mode, and giggled like a silly mule, without a trace of the headache earlier on.

I went to the ladies and realised my cheeks and forehead was flushed.

And I only had 2 sips of the yummy white wine!

Yes, if you still haven’t read about it, I am one of the most fabulous drinkers you would ever come across.

A couple of sips would be enough to knock me out, turn me scarlet, and morph me into a monster.

Not a very pretty sight, I reckon.

I now worship the nicotine gum cos my headache went away swiftly thereafter(and it is not even psychological!).

The very kind FF passed me a couple just in case my body crave for some dose of nicotine.

I don’t believe I would be hooked to nicotine with such ease, and that it would have such effects on my body that I could not control it.

The thing is, I don’t even crave for fags nor feel like taking a drag. The thought of it actually makes me feel nauseous.

And I would really hate to admit that it was the lack of nicotine that made my body reacted the way it did.

The guys concluded that we were deprived, and getting too hormonal as we had misheard and twisted what they had spoken for the night into things that filled with nothing but sexual innuedoes.

And most of such moments were unintentionally.

It is amazing how FF and I both heard ‘genital herpes‘ when Reminisce had said something like ‘Jennifer Lopez’.

When Tetanus had said something about being salaried, we heard celibacy.

Tsk tsk.

We adjourned to Acid Bar thereafter.

It was my 2nd trip there, and it brought back memories of me there with Goldwin some time last year.

FF and I left the group, which by then, had 2 more additions of Derrick and Derrick, for a brief while, to head to 7-eleven for a shot of chocolate to alleviate the stiff mood for the evening.

I started lamenting to her how I detested the reflection when we strolled past a mirror, and how I wish I could save up for plastic surgery in the future.

I listed the things I wanted to do, and I am amazed what an extensive list it is. Muahahahaha.

It was slightly past midnight when Reminisce, the gentleman, who not only bought the round for us at Que Pasa, but also drove us home.

We went around town, to North-East, to West, and realised how crap he is when it comes to reading road signs.

***

SBB called slightly after 2am, after I had showered and chilling to the night. It was a short call before he turned in.

He then made me somewhat promise him that I would try to retire by 3am since I wasn’t feeling too well.

And by 3am, lights were off, and I was tucked safely beneath the duvet, dozing off without a trace of my headache, but with plenty of fatigue and that warm and fuzzy feeling the embraced me through the night.

Too much weird dreams, though.

***

It was 12 plus on Friday, and I woke up once again feeling extremely queasy.

I tossed and turned in bed for 20 minutes, drifting in and out of consciousness, when the single beep from my handphone alerted me again.

Then did I realise, for the 2nd night, I had kicked my house phone off the hook.

It was then a 2-hour phone call with SBB, with us meddling with the webcam, and me looking horrifying ghastly pale on the webcam.

My eyes were barely pried open, when I switched on the webcam deliriously, much to his demand.

For the first time, I saw him on webcam and I couldn’t stop giggling at the silliness of his facial expressions.

He didn’t even know how to enlarge the windows, complaining that his webcam screen was too small to see anything.

It was funny seeing him wedging his phone between his shoulder and ear, talking, and hearing his voice at the same time. Quite interesting actually.

And his sudden nearing to the webcam to scrunch his lips, pucker it up to gesture a muack caused me to break into chuckles.

It was pretty cool to be able to thrown him a cold stare whenever he made the lamest comments possible, or throw a senseless jibe at me. Hmphf.

I even jokingly asked him to strip, which of course, the coward didn’t dare to bulge.

Wimp!

I then walked out for my lunch again, still suppressing the urge to puke.

I even bought myself some nice peanut waffle and lotus seed paste pastry for desserts.

I am eating a tad too much.

***

MSN chat with Grace and Mandrake in the afternoon, post lunch.

Grace insisted on looking at my vibrator and dildo.

I switched on the webcam and let her had a glimpse of the embarrassing gadgets to satisfy her lust curiosity in the midst of the thunderstorm that came suddenly.

Muahahaha. I must be mad.

***

I got wind of the storm and sent a message to the one who was out, and he called back to say that he was safely indoors.

***

Hardly any plans to head out, and was already prepared for a quiet night in, perhaps to blog my night away, until Alvin called to ask if I would like to play mahjong.

I think I am becoming like a gambler.

Or perhaps, too lazy a bum to head out to town, or to even dress up on a weekend night to head anywhere.

I was feeling quite alright until I took the long walk to his estate from my place, and then started to feel restless, and broke out in cold sweats again.

My head felt light, and my hands started trembling. My limbs chilled and freezing. My concentration falling apart.

Total discomfort, I tell you.

Mum called in the midst of the game, calling me names. She started to launch into this mode when I nicely told her that I was playing mahjong, and asked in a disgusted tone, ‘When have you become such an obsessive gambler?’

How often do you play?

You always play is it?

You guys play money?

You think you very rich, is it?

Where you playing?

Who are those people you are playing with?

Where did you learn all these bad things from?

And for Christ’s sake, that was the 1st time ever I had told her I was playing a game over at a friend’s place.

She spoke as if I had contacted cancer or some sort, as if I was incorrigible and such as she demanded more details.

I ran out of patience as my usual defensive self snapped into action and the initially mellowed voice took a turn.

I think a game of mahjong is just like a game of scrabble, and is quite intellectually stimulating, actually. Especially if there is great company, I don’t see any harm.

I mean, if you are heading out on a weekend, most probably you would spend on food and drinks and possibly pricey cab fares, and playing a game or two isn’t that bad in my opinion, even if you are not on the winning end, no?

***

Woops, it was another night of loss for me. *Sheepish*

And I grew real restless in the midst of it, and regretted I didn’t bring the nicotine gum with me.

I took a couple of drags from Nise’s fag just to get my concentrtion together though and I seriously don’t like the taste of it.

It was 4am when I finally reached home, with the very kind Edmund and wife giving me a lift back, since all of us live in the same area.

***

I took a quick shower and slumped into my bed, not knowing what to do.

Perhaps I just wanna relax and chill, not doing anything, and just let my thoughts run amok.

Just then, an unexpected phone call from SBB startled me, and I couldn’t quite explain why I was still up in the middle of the night, not doing anything.

Besides snacking on some fattening crackers.

How odd, the timing.

A short call later, I finally drifted off to a deep slumber.

***

I struggled to wake up at 1 plus in the noon, feeling groggy but definitely miles better than the few days before.

I blogged.

And blogged.

And blogged.

I started to get the hang of writing, and wrote quite a bit.

I even drafted the next post already.

I wrote 3 other posts elsewhere.

So productive. I wonder if I should end this here, since it doesn’t seem like much people are reading me here anyway.

But yet, the privacy is being compromised, as those who had known of this site might end up knowing what are in here eventually.

Oh well.

***

FF and I had plans to do something drastically different for this weekend.

Zoo. Museum. Play. Musical. Blading. Sky dive or something.

Okay, sky dive was my idea, but not her cup of tea.

We finally settled for this jazzfest thingy but as the time drew near, we were too lazy to be heading out anywhere.

I think we are just feeling unmotivated and the zest is running low on fuel.

Everything was almost… like a.. standstill.

I didn’t feel like heading anywhere. I didn’t feel like being seen anywhere.

Eventually, even plans to have dinner at 7 was delayed cos of our reluctance to head out early to 8.

Spoke to SBB on the phone for an hour, with him demanding me to be on webcam again. I somehow feel as if I am fulfilling some kind of fetish of his or something.

Pervert.

He sounded preoccupied, and I kindly asked if he would like me to get off the phone just in case I am a distraction for being such a nuisance.

In his haughty, sardonic tone, he mused ‘What do you mean? You have always been a nuisance anyway!’

Meow! Ouch. Catty.

Grr. Fine.

Hmphf.

Bye, I said, in mock anger.

And he had the audacity to tell me not to feel personal about it.

But, hello? It was a personal comment, no? I argued in my cutesy, act-pitiful voice.

He laughed at my petty reactions as I refused to speak even as he coaxed.

He contemptuously replied, ‘Aw, sorry, it wasn’t personal‘ before breaking into fits of giggle.

I swear I could have wrung his neck if he was right before me there and then.

Maybe something else, too. *Cough*

Okay, I will make another personal comment to compensate for that, how about that?

I was wondering what could he possibly come up with, that is substantial to appease me.

I like shagging you, sweetie.

*Cough*

Oh shuddap, I snapped.

Where the hell did that come from?

*Cringe*

You wait long long.

Muahahaha.

***

Then I started having cold feet about heading out of the house, and after a while, I decided I feel hungry enough to want to have a nice dinner.

Thus, time was finalised at 8.45pm for Pepper Lunch in Orchard.

I was looking so dowdy that I shouldn’t be allowed on the streets. I was self-conscious yet didn’t want to make an effort to dress up.

I seriously don’t know what’s wrong with myself. Muahahaha.

I started reading the book Philip had passed me a long while ago on the train ride to town(yay! Public transport yet again!), and I didn’t realise how good the book is, and I am actually drawn to read on, and leave this entry untouched.

But I curbed the urge and decide to indulge AFTER this post is done.

Hopefully it won’t take up the time for the next entry.

I was walking past McCafe at Isetan Scotts, when I bumped into my secondary school classmate Zhiwen, who was actually having coffee with another schoolmate, who didn’t recognise me since he wasn’t from my class.

‘Ding Minghua?‘ I blurted out, and they seemed surprise by my memory. Together with them, were their respective girlfriends.

We met up for a great dinner, but it seems like our spirits were lacklustre, with not much enthusiasm for the night.

We walked down the glittery stretch of Orchard, down to Orchard Hotel, where we were expected to find Tetanus at Muddy Murphy’s.

He had wanted to watch his friend playing in a band there.

We reached there earlier, and I rewarded myself with 3 cookies from Subway, which I devoured in a matter of seconds.

I feel guilty eating so much in a day.

And I wasn’t quite satisfied despite having dinner and cookies. Gee.

Tetanus was just leaving his home when we reached there.

I had heard how the area is commonly filled with whores and I was curious enough to look around me, wondering who are and who aren’t.

Seriously, I still have no idea how to differentiate a normal shopper from a whore until FF pointed some out to me.

Tetanus joined us shortly after and we realised his friend wasn’t there.

We had thought there was another Muddy Murphy’s at Boat Quay and we had gotten the location wrong.

Then, we took a cab to Boat Quay, where we realised there isn’t any Muddy Murphy’s there.

We settled for Harry’s, where they got a drink, and I stick to iced water instead. Budget constraints and I really shouldn’t be drinking.

As I walked into the bar, the uplifting tunes belted out by the jazz singer made me tap my feet to the beats, feeling an urge to dance.

Suddenly, I wished I was in Europe, and most probably I would just stand up and dance, without a care for whoever present.

It was from the corner of my eyes, I saw another familiar face.

I smiled and mouthed, ‘Eddie?‘.

He looked at me as if I was some weirdo, and knitted his brows as if trying to piece his memories together to place me somewhere.

He didn’t have much time to before I strutted into the far end of the bar, settling at a corner table, immersed in the beautiful music, and brilliant company of FF and Tetanus.

Perhaps, I just feel shitty having met 2 people from my secondary school days, looking my worst.

Anyway, a night spent with FF and Tetanus couldn’t possibly go wrong.

It brought back memories of how slightly more than 4 months ago, the 3 of us had hung out together, complaining of our single status, and how desperate we were to get laid attached.

That night, the outing for 3 had evolved into 5, when Tetanus asked if we mind Wallflower joining us, and FF later asked if we would mind Gavin joining us.

I couldn’t possibly object right? Though I seriously should have cos I was the only one left alone!

The 2 sneaky ones had claimed they were ‘just friends’ with the individuals they had invited to join us.

LOOK WHAT HAPPENED?!

Tsk tsk.

Never believe people when they tell you they are ‘just friends’ with friends of the opposite sexes.

Sure bluff.

Unless it’s me who is telling you.

And now, with their respective partners overseas, the 3 singletons were hanging out, with pieces of their minds elsewhere, in faraway lands.

I took 2 drags. I didn’t like it.

What a ’spontaneous’ weekend.

Not quite the spontaneity we were looking for.

***

We parted a quarter to midnight amidst the buzz of the Saturday night.

I didn’t feel quite belong to the glistering lights from the night.

Not even when the moon is so pretty tonight.

FF and I went against the temptation of cabs, and took the last train home instead.

I was so proud of myself that I didn’t rely on cab rides at all today.

Yay.

What an achievement.

Alright, now if you would excuse me, I would return to my new read, which is surprisingly interesting — Left Behind.

And yeap, it is actually a Christian novel.

But don’t write it off like I did.

It is really engaging, which wasn’t within my expectations, really.

***

Lady, I am sorry you have to go through the same hurt again.

We will be around.