Schni Schna Schnappi! Schnappi Schnappi Schnappi!

Yeap. I have intelligent friends who teach me the most brilliant stuff in life, making the smartest conversations with ample substance that would put rocket scientists to shame.

Wednesday night was scary.

The weather was scary.

***

It was 2am.

Where’s everybody?

I don’t like thunder.

*SULKS*

I don’t like lightning either.

*SULKS SULKS SULKS*

I just don’t like the suspense of something that takes me by surprise.

I got so jittery and fearful of the night that I jumped back into my room the moment I stepped out of it, because of the flickers and booms that came one after another.

I thought there isn’t any roof over me with the swooshing of the heavy rain, crackling of the sky, and howling of the wind oh-so aurally clear.

I dove right into my bed and sulked under the duvet.

I sulked so much that my frownlines are almost becoming permanent wrinkles.

I scrolled my MSN list and realised not a single soul was online.

Um, there was one. But he was on the plane(gee! Planes have wireless these days! How amazing!), and in his words, ‘running out of batteries and can’t recharge on the plane because lame plane has no outlets‘, and I lost the only alive person at such ungodly hour.

Darn the airline. They should have outlets if they are offering wireless.

And you know how bad the fear is when you palms are constantly wet, and you thought you are going to hyperventilate anytime soon.

Then you know it is REALLY bad, when you have a mental conversation with yourself, ‘I want to sulk!! And just push me any further and I will cry.‘

The sulking was really bad with the loud, fierce, hostile growls, which followed the consecutive blinding flashes that illuminated the entire room.

I wanted to sleep. But it unsettled me so much that I would get too nervous to have some proper rest.

I closed my eyes and indulged in some, um, rather provocative thoughts in the dark, that I was hoping would bring my attention to elsewhere.

But the repertoire of lightnings and intimidating thunders didn’t cease.

And then, the unexpected shrill from the house phone had to make me jump slightly again.

Did I mention that I don’t like the shock from nowhere?!

Okay.

Great, at least that means that there was still a single soul alive out there, and the comfort is very much welcomed.

God bless his soul.

***

Hello Sweetie!

Hello. What’s up.

People who know me will know that whenever I am tensed or jittery, I would sound unusually rigid, as if something is stuck up my arse, and that I am exceptionally snappish.

What are you doing?

Ummm.. Hmm… Um… Isn’t it raining over there?

Drizzling slightly, yah.

Argh. It’s thundering here, and there’s a constant flashes of lightning here. I am sulking real bad. I went into the living room to get a glass of water and got so scared that I ran back into my room, jumped into my bed and sulked, sulked, sulked!Hmphffffffffffff…….. *add in wails and whines*

I launched into a series of laments before he even got the chance to react, venting my snappishness(schni schna schnappi! schnappi schnappi schnappi!) in a chain of grumbles.

Awww.. so pooorrr thhhiiinnnnggg.

What?! Trying to be sarcastic is it? Grrr….

(Told ya I am snappish when I am nervous)

He laughed.

Can you imagine?! The heartless one actually laughed?!

I squirmed and squealed slightly when there was yet another flicker that illuminated the room, followed by a lagged, soft grunt.

I thought you are only afraid thunder?

No, I am afraid of lightning too. I am just a coward who is easily scared by the suspense of things that take me by surprise.

I answered with a wee bit of childish tantrum that wasn’t directing at him.

Oh, you mean something like my tongue?

Muahahaha. Yeap. And that too.

Yeah. Why else would I scramble under the duvet in utter, complete, downright shock, when he unexpectedly leaned in to make me lose a 2 bucks bet to Finicky Feline more than 4 months ago?

Not bad. At least I loosen up enough and was tickled by that comment.

Maybe the next time I need to take my minds off things.. I should…

As I continued on the sentence, my voice trailed off, as he suggested almost a tad too matter-of-factly, covering the last part of my sentence he had failed to hear, ‘Maybe the next time whenever you are fearful or when there is a storm, you could give yourself an orgasm to take your minds off things, and I am sure you will have a good sleep.‘

Fear + Thrill huh. Very funny.

I laughed at the suggestion.

Cos the exact part I had said and he had missed when he interrupted was, ‘…. I should perhaps indulge in some self-pleasure or something‘.

Great minds think alike huh.

Muahahaha.

Does it really take fear away?

Bleah.

I will tell you when it works.

***

Well, considering that you fell asleep within seconds in my arms on Monday morning….

What?! Did I doze off so quickly again?!

Yeah, the moment we lied down…

Gosh. What? I did that again? Tell me I didn’t snore…

Well, the usual, you know? Of course you did.

WHAT?! AGAIN? Why do I always snore when you around huh?! I got fall asleep so quickly huh???

What’s new, sweetie?

It must be a figment of your imagination. Maybe I never did snore, but you insist so. Damn. I shall never fall asleep before you do, again.

Um, sweetie, that was what you said the last time too.

&@%#^$!%#!

I am sure it doesn’t mean that you bored me to sleep everytime you are around.

***

The conversation went on for another 40 minutes, with the occasional squeals when I cringed to the sudden burst of lightning penetrating past the curtains.

Schni Schna Schnappi, Schnappi Schnappi Schnappi!

I crooned.

Darn. Someone just left a comment in my blog, right when I thought I had the song erased from my mind. Oh no…

What is that shee shaw shee shaw?

It is Schni Schna Schnappi!

I corrected him with child-like righteousness. And I launched into the song again. Gee.

Ahhh can somebody stop me!

He laughed.

It is as addictive as the Doraemon song, you know? Eh, good news is, this will be easier for you to learn.

Hahaha, is it? 如果我有玩具猫，我要叫它小叮当…..

I froze for a brief moment. Absolutely speechless.

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

What?!

Where did you learn that from?

From you lah! Who else?

***

Rewind to Sunday. I was lying on my back, with him next to me, leaning on my flabby tummy, with his elbows propping him up.

Sweetie, how do you sing the Doraemon song again?

Hmmm, lemme think. It is 如果我有玩具猫，我要叫它小叮当…..

Wait wait.. repeat. What does it mean?

I repeat the lyrics with a passion only found in dedicated Chinese teachers. Ha!

It says, if I have a toy cat, I would name it Doraemon.

He mumbled something to himself, and muttered the lines, before launching into 2 sentences of awkward sounding Doraemon song with numerous breaks in between.

Well done! Not too bad.

Never did I know I have encouraged another freak, like me.

And to think he could mouth it so completely and wholesomely this time round!

Oh no! What kind of monster have I produced?

***

Uh-oh. What have I done?

He launched into replay mode. With the babyish, act-cute voice, no less.

如果我有玩具猫，我要叫它小叮当…..

Oh no. I am traumatised. Can you record it or something and send it over to me as a sound clip? Perhaps I can play it when I.. you know.. hahaha

I took a cue from the sound clip which the guys had deemed sounded like Japanese AV clip.

No! Don’t want! You will end up laughing so hard halfway through your business that the dildo will most probably fall out or something.

True, true.

Sorry people, for the brutally honest, explicitly frank transcript of the conversations.

Tsk tsk. You have heard nothing yet.

Went on to chat about nitty-gritties, before he did a little coaxing that I should hide myself under the duvet, throw a pillow over my eyes, so I could catch some sleep in the midst of all the lightnings and such.

I felt like a child(eeeeee, I am such a bum) with all the everything-will-be-alright-don’t-be-scared-okay–sweetie? talks with the mellowed, gentle voice.

Strange enough, the lightnings and thunders ceased the moment the phone went down onto its cradle.

Yay.

Peace at last.

***

Friday is yet another bland affair.

Just like any other Fridays.

Realise how I tend to shy away from dressing up and extensive travelling to town area on Fridays, when everyone would be meeting up, painting the town red and such.

I have got no life man.

Hit the sacks around 5am last night. Had wanted to wake up in the morning.

Imagine my horror when I realised it was 5.30pm when the delirium wore off.

I didn’t even realise, nor did it even feel like I had slept so much.

Must be the chain of weird dreams that drained me that much.

I realise a dreamful sleep is indeed tiring and exhausting.

The worst thing is to get emotionally involved with the dream.

I sat up from the bed after one of the dreams had ended. I remember how it was of my mum saying something like, ‘I had wanted to abort you, but your dad felt that it’s a life we are talking about, and we made the wrong decision of giving birth to you.’

When I sat up, the first impulse was to ball up and cry.

I pulled the duvet under me, cuddled my baby pillow tighter than before, and the fatigue overwhelmed me once again.

In my trance, I thought I reminded myself to call up my mum to ask her why did she do that. And that’s in reality.

Then, I sank back into deep sleep.

Strangely, the odd dream continued, with other people who had graced my life previously, taking on their cameo roles in my dream.

I am sure all weren’t pleasant. I sat up from my sleep again, feeling the awful dread in me.

It could have weighed down my entire day, with that leftover feeling.

I was concussed once again.

The dream continued itself. With someone, whom I feel extreme guilt towards, in it.

In the dream, I was running away from her accusing stares, as she pressed me for answers.

I didn’t like the dream and forced myself to wake up, feeling an incessant urge to bawl.

I fell back into deep slumber again.

And yes, the dream continued!

How freaky.

And yes, I think I dreamt about blog readers, and such too.

When it was 5.30pm, I got a rude shock and had to take a while to separate my dream state from reality.

And yet, oddly, the first dream with the scenerio of my mum, stayed.

I erased all the other scenes.

But yet, that one stays.

***

Felt a great urge to call mum.

Just to see how she is doing.

Knowing me, that is something I haven’t done, in years.

And I did, when I was walking down the neighbourhood later in the night.

No answer.

And a slight dejection rushed through me.

***

Spent some time working on the computer for the first few hours of my day.

Vamp, Roy and Nick called to say they were meeting up in town. Didn’t feel like heading to town, and just wanted to stay around west side area, and asked them to consider Holland Village instead.

A recluse, I am.

Alvin and Denise(hey babe, hope you are feeling better already *hug*) called, and they suggested a short round of mahjong(what’s new?).

Went out at around 9pm, and took an extensive walk around the quiet neighbourhood.

With the dream bugging me.

Not exactly the dream. But the residual feelings…

***

Eventually, I was duly informed that they had ventured down EAST instead of coming to WEST.

The audacity!

So I was left without a late-night program at 11 plus.

I even MSNed with the guys who were at East Coast MacDonald’s from Alvin’s computer. Next time they should get a webcam and I would feel that I was physically there with them.

Hurhurhur.

Alvin managed to get another friend to continue with the game, and the night dragged on till 3.30am.

20 bucks poorer.

Whee.

***

Finally slept at 5 plus, and greeted Thursday 1pm in the afternoon when a call from Denise came in.

She was down at the pool suntanning, and asked me to join her.

In my usual lazy fashion, I took some time to get out of bed, washed up, before changing into my bikini top to head to the pool.

I was barely in the scorching sun for 5 minutes, before I felt the sting in my skin.

One thing about me is, I have extremely sensitive skin, and I get burnt easier than tanned. Thus, I casually draped my top over my face to relieve the prickly rays.

Imagine my horror when I got back home 15 minutes later, to find that I had can-you-believe-it, sunburnt my nose!

5 minutes in the sun, only!

The redness was so distinctive that I would have been mistaken for Rudolph especially with Christmas closing in.

Bleah.

***

Saw the previous entry on his blog. Tapped on the phone.

Reply came swiftly. Operation was already over.

Ai yo, what happened?

Get well soon.

***

Met up with Denise again for lunch at the hawker centre nearby.

We were too lazy to get onto the train on a hot Thursday afternoon, and ended up succumbing to the cab instead.

Off to California Fitness, we went.

Yeap, you heard it right.

Ting went to the gym!!!!!!

Can you freaking believe it?

My first trip there in 4 years. I remember how I was at my slimmest, 43kg when I was last there, with the intention to gain some weight.

I was reminded by the staff that my membership is already 7 years-old.

Wow.

Now?

I weighed myself right after my (short)gym session yesterday, and I do not know whether to be pleased or devastated to announce that I am now 53kg.

Well, 2 kg below the 55kg I was few months back(well, the agency, SBB, Mr David, and quite a few others had been telling me that losing 5 kg would be good, and now I have 3 more to go).

I am so proud of myself that I finally got my ass(fat one, I might add) off to the gym. Whee!

Thanks to Denise, cos I wouldn’t ever go to the gym alone for the lack of motivation.

Yay. Outside the gym. Makeupless with the red burnt spots on my face. How nice. How ghostly.

Basically, my physique is utterly unfit. I gave up jogging after 15 minutes, and felt like puking my lunch out just after 10 on another machine.

I still heart the abs machine the most.

Muahahaha.

We spent yet another 10 plus minutes in the sauna, having senseless and mindless conversations, trying to get pass the time in the sauna.

I still remember how I had immense cultural shock when I was in the changing room, cos everyone was just walking around in their nakedness, and some of them were rather disturbing.

Not the oh-you-have-such-a-great-bod-that-it-is-disgusting-cos-I-am-jealous kinda disturbing but holy-moly-I-hope-I-will-never-end-up-like-that kinda disturbing.

You know what I mean?

I didn’t know where to put my eyes back then.

Though I know for sure that many eyes were on me, shooting dart-like glances at me, cos I was so absolutely thin back then.

‘Why the hell do you come to gym for? To mock at people like us?!‘ I could almost hear the screams from those accusing stares back then.

Now?

It is: Welcome to the club, baby.

And a new addition to the disturbing scenes.

Anyway, by the time I was done with a nice relaxing shower, it was 6.40pm.

Woe is me. My face was peeling badly from the afternoon sun. And I was only out there in the sun for a quarter of the clock!

Was 6.50pm, while I was blowdrying my hair when SBB called.

Wooo. You would like the sights I am seeing now. Naked women. Lots and lots and lots of naked women.

I shall not mention how he had the most incredulous tone in his voice when I told him I was in the changing room of my gym, ‘What are you doing at the gym, sweetie?!‘

Oh. Maybe I was there for a teabreak since water cooler’s water is free.
Oh. Maybe I was there to shop for new clothes.
Oh. Maybe I was there to look into the mirror to make myself feel fat.
Oh. Maybe I was just there for a free shower cos I wanna scrimp on the shampoo since I am so broke.

DUHHHHHHHH.

I am glad we made a fast enough exit cos the gym was busting with the off-work executives coming in.

Almost didn’t recognise the executively dressed Alvin standing at the entrance, cos I had only seen him in dowdy, homely singlets over our constant mahjong sessions.

Oi! Wah, you look different. Do I look like I lose weight?

Um, yeah, I was kinda hoping that I would look like I lost plenty of weight after my gym session, you see.

Long way to go, I guess.

Bade the sweet couple goodbye, before I sashayed my way down to Borders to meet up with VampTreSS and Nick, at the arranged time of……. *drums roll* 6.30pm!

By the time Nick and I saw the approaching VampTreSS and Roy, it was… *gasp* 8.45pm.

Hurhurhurhurhur.

I was smart, I went zapping in and out of shoe shops, browsing at the wide arrays of knee-length boots(I love the suede, beige ones!), darting in and out of boutiques irritating the hell outta sales assistant by taking 10 pieces of clothing at one go into the trying room and not buying anything, squealing in delight at the dainty winter fashion, moaning at my inability to afford them, swooshing in and out of shops, maxing my brain out, milking for Christmas ideas.

Basically, just sashaying down the streets to strut my new skirt(tsk tsk. Rule of thumb when going shopping: Go in a skirt, so you don’t have to wriggle out of your jeans which is absolutely irritating. If you’re in your jeans, it gives you the perfect reason to buy a skirt!), or should I say, looking for boots/bags/top to match it.

And I am supposed to be broke.

Muahahaha.

And, I managed to squeeze into a XS-sized short skirt at Forever 21, alright?! *Punch fist into the air victoriously*

But er, I didn’t buy the skirt.

Nick was reading The Godfather by himself when I located him in Borders, and VampTreSS was nowhere in sight.

Of course, you guys already knew that she only appeared at 8.40pm with Roy in tow.

I bumped into Mel, from the band L.G.F., and it was a brief exchange of smiles and nods. And I was thinking to myself that it is pretty swift that it has been a year since I first saw his band played.

And perhaps, he did recognise me from pictures, since we didn’t formally meet before.

The 4 of us scoured the entire bookstore for books, and I had wanted to get an easy read out of Emily Griffin’s Something Borrowed, but it costs 26 buckeroos.

And I felt cheated that there wasn’t any sale at Borders as expected.

Bleah.

Somebody should just give us a pair of glasses each, and we would be the perfect nerds!

And I was reading an Edgar Allan Poe hard-cover collections, which costs only 16 bucks!

What a steal.

I saw this guy who was squating right next to me, looking for some book on the left side of the shelf behind me.

I didn’t think he was looking up my skirt or something, but I was having this Ally McBeal that if he was, I would give him a kick with a lift of the heel of my sneakers.

Then, for a 2nd time, I saw that he was kneeling right next to me, but not looking at me.

I walked away to the right side of the self, just in case I was blocking his way.

Was bantering with the guys when I suddenly moved away and wooooooops…

I didn’t see that there was indeed someone squatting right behind me and my leg had flew into him.

And you guessed it, it was the same gentleman wearing blue long-sleeved shirt behind me.

As we lingered around the same shelf again, I moved towards the left side of the shelf again.

Just before we made a move from Borders, he squatted right next to me again.

We moved away, and he went to one of the shelves right at the back of the bookstore.

Hello?! Sir? Next time be more sensitive, can? Be conscious of your surroundings, before you choose a place to squat. Beside a girl wearing short skirt is certainly not appropriate.

***

Dinner was at Cream Bistro, and I had no appetite or whatsoever after my day at the gym despite being extremely, downright hungry.

And I saw a familiar, sweet face. That of (Jiechuan, your favourite!) Kewei, the backup vocalist for David Tao’s concert.

Dexter joined us shortly after, and we adjourned to Rouge to join Leon and friends thereafter.

The original plan was to head down Holland Village, which would have been the more ideal choice for me to sit down for a cosy chat(nearer too!), cos somehow, I really wasn’t in the mood to be in some place noisy and dancey(wah! How flabbergasting, coming from the party animal herself).

In the car, I was abused by the ungentlemanly Dexter, and it was only our 2nd meeting!

Tsk.

Gentlemen are scarce in the market these days.

***

Rouge was a place of utter boredom.

Band was belting out songs that resembled lullabies.

I was just sitting there cos it wasn’t a condusive environment to make conversation. I was almost falling asleep.

And for the first time, I learnt what is called, ‘Wing-man manoeuvre’.

Apparently, I have to thank a certain Korean teletubby for it, though I have no idea who he is, nor did I speak to him at all cos he was talking to VampTreSS. His presence made the guys explain to me what wing-man manoeuvre was about.

Muahahahaha.

But there was this point, I was pleading with Nick to talk to me so I didn’t have to entertain anyone(so desperate, was me).

To the point that our conversation was something like this:

Nick: Brakalashuadushejudeporshekadesh
Me: Kilakudinohnescapisco blarblarblar.

Well done.

We left slightly after midnight, and headed to Coffee Club for supper.

***

Whee!

And I made my trip to the gym go down the drain.

The irony of it is, Coffee Club is just right next to my gym, a haunting reminder of how I shouldn’t succumb to it.

But the cake is so pretty that I couldn’t resist!

Nick’s cup of coffee.

All of them were getting tired and almost falling asleep, except me, who was high on adrenalin from my -cough- new and healthy lifestyle. Perhaps the sugar-high from the log cake helped too.

If someone had dared me to jog home, I would have done so, though I wouldn’t think it’s a good idea to do so in a skirt.

Brian joined us slightly after 1am, and the group stayed on for another hour or so.

Before Nick called it a night, he educated us on what is ‘Fake the donkey‘, which they very nicely suggested that I should eduate my readers as well.

It got a tad too suggestive that I was laughing too much, blushing, giggling shyly, I might add, that I couldn’t quite remember what was being said.

I tried the search on yahoo, but garnered no results, so I think they were faking me with the fake-the-donkey theory.

Moral of the story is, get yourself side mirrors when doing *cough* doggie-style.

I have such nice friends, don’t I?

Before long, VampTreSS and Roy were getting too tired, and the group dispersed for the night as the guys headed towards their bikes.

Haven’t been in town for the longest while, and I am starting to get fascinated by the fanciful lights, stuff and people on the streets.

***

A message came in when I was with the group at Coffee Club.

SBB.

Apparently, he was in town with his friends too.

Met up with him for a brief while after the rest had left for home.

Quite evidently, he fancied the skirt, and commented that the skirt fall into the same league as the maroon skirt I have.

I curiously asked what kind of league is that, and I rolled my eyes at his answer.

‘The I-want-to-grab-you-push-you-onto-the-floor-and-shag-you-on-the-spot league’

Um. Right.

Just a pity I wasn’t in boots, right?

Muahahahaha.

Me, and my new skirt, with boots, without…… *cough* socks beneath.

Okay, pretty sad that I don’t have the pair of boots I fancied.

So, if any nice souls decide to get me Nine West boots for Christmas….

My feet is 23cm, 9 inches in length.

Okay, am joking.

Took this picture only because Junita said that my feet size is small, and I got curious with its exact size. Since there are different measurement of sizes across the globe, I thought this would perhaps be more accurate. Heh.

Anyway.

I really wonder if SBB has any kind of fetish for short skirts, especially with nothing underneath boots or something.

He led me by the hand into 7-Eleven to grab some bites and drinks, before we leeched around the carpark right next to the MRT station to smooch cuddle flirt tease make out chat for a while.

Dark. Only illuminated by the pretty, glittery Christmas lightings in a distance.

I flipped my back onto the back of his bike, heaving a sigh of relief with the release of the burden.

Stop touching my cellulite.

He traced his lips down the sides of my neck, and I extended my neck at the slightest touch of such. I felt his lips inching towards the shoulder, and he brought up his hand to run his fingers down my arms. Utterly sensuous. He brought me closer as he leaned in for a pretty intense kiss. His tongue probed fervently, and mine was only happy to flirt in response.

A hand slid down my back, along my spine, ending up at the waist band of the skirt. He parted me from him, and eyed me suspiciously. I shrugged with an evil glint in my eyes.

No Ting, no thrashy novel mode.

I walked towards where his bike was, and he followed right behind. Right then, I felt his touch. I turned back with mocked offense and gave him a warning with the widened eyes. Hmphf, what do you think you are doing? He pulled me towards him for an embrace that could well have suffocated me.

Woops. Stop Ting, stop.

Standing behind him, embracing him from the back, I reached southwards, and caressed lightly, before moving one hand beneath his shirt, and danced my hand frivolously acrossed his body. I nibbled his ear slightly, behind leaving a trail of kisses with the tongue and lips…

Would you want me to do the same back to you too? He asked a tad sardonically. I smirked and skipped away before I was at the receiving end of the game of tease. You are so dead when I see you the next time, he threatened.

I laughed at his threat dismissively. Cheekily, no less.

A group of bikers came into the carpark, and I was absent-mindedly walking in the direction where one of the bikes was moving in, and he caught hold of me to move away in time.

He supported me by the waist and propped me onto the rider seat of his bike, as he finished his ciggie. I was busy wondering if my clumsiness would topple the bike over, before my weight would.

Short skirts and bike really don’t go together.

He placed his hand on my thigh where the skirt couldn’t cover, and slowly ran it up. I could feel his tingling touch as his fingers probed.

Nowadays when I launched into thrashy novel mode, I kinda think it’s pretty hilarious…

The time was getting later, and he finished his last ciggie, before we were caught in the last embrace.

I rested my head on his shoulder, and was getting a tad sleepy. It feel kinda warm and comfortable lying my head comfortably in his neck, sniffing the familiar scent.

I could almost feel the effects from the gym, and the long day taking their toll on me, and the hug was reassuring.

I tightened my grasp around his neck, and he tensed his arms around my waist. I snuck a quick peck on his cheek, and caught a smirk flashing across his face.

What’s with the smirk? I interrogated circumspectly.

As I felt his fingers in between me all of sudden, the realisation hit me. My being tensed. I gasped and grabbed him by the arm as I rest my head comfortably on his shoulder, hugging him closer. One, then two. And we broke away for yet another lustful kiss, before his hand slid away.

With a narrow of his eyes, the smirk broke into a grin, ‘Now, that’s why I was smirking. Something for you to remember me by when you are on the cab.‘

I narrowed my eyes and responded with a scowl, before walking to the nearest waiting cab.

***

The cab driver was rather funny. In his thirties, I would suppose.

On a bad day, he would have been irritating.

When he swerved the cab, and the plastic bag holding Vamp’s Edgar Allan Poe’s book glided across the seat, he thought I had a pet hamster in the plastic bag, and it was running around.

When the cab exited from the expressway, he struck up a conversation and nearly swerved into a biker accidentally.

He was really apologetic and kept waving to the rider to express his apologies.

It was then, he glanced into the rear-view mirror once too many times.

He started telling me that his friend just called him on the phone when I boarded the cab, cos the friend was the cab driver right behind him, and saw me boarding the cab.

Apparently, his friend had wanted to ferry me instead.

So when he was exiting from the expressway, when stopping at the traffic junction, he was trying to have a good look at me from the mirror.

Duh.

Then he told me what his friend had said.

Then, he tried to play matchmaker.

‘My friend is very young. He is not married. Not bad looking, you know? He wants to know you.‘

(Shortly after, just before the cab turned into the estate, SBB called, and when I related this to him, he said, ‘You should have told him: Uncle, just now you got see the bike coming out? That one younger and cuter.‘ Muahahaha.)

I gave a very polite, ‘Oh is it?’ and gave my social laugh.

He then said the next time I am in town, late at night, I should look out for the plate number 332X and it would be the friend who called.

Why? Next time he would send me back for free is it?

Like that I wouldn’t mind staying out in town till past midnight every night.

Muahahahaha.

It was then another chain of conversations that started with ‘My friend said…..‘

When turning into the estate, he started saying, ‘Wah.. you rich girl, stay here huh?’

Wrong thing to say. I absolutely detest it when staying in a private apartment means rich.

‘Many Japanese stay here right?’

‘Yup, I have many Japanese neighbours.’

‘Are you a Japanese?’

‘Huh?! Do I sound like one to you?’

For goodness sake, we were conversing in MANDARIN, mind you.

‘Oh no lah, I thought your dressing looks like Japanese schoolgirl.’

!!!!!!!!!!!

I where got so cute?

Hello?! Do I look like a Japanese to you? Do I look like I was retained in my grades for a decade or something?

White top. Skirt. Sneakers. Gym bag.

I was speaking Mandarin, alright?

Chinese.

Just when I was about to pay for my fare when he finally stopped, he stared into the rear view mirror and said he wanna take another few good looks at me before I alight. So I was digging into my wallet with him staring at me with full concentration via the mirror.

Huh.

As I was paying, he joked that I better ‘quickly run’(as in get away from the cab sooner) or else he would want to look at me more, and perhaps drive me away.

I was slightly more at ease, since SBB was still hanging on to the phone.

When he heard this, he joked, ‘Of course he wants you to run faster, so he can get a good view with your skirt flapping as you run.‘

I mustered the sweetest of smile I could, and said thank you, before I got off the cab.

No, I didn’t get a discount or anything.

Darn.

***

The phone call with SBB lusted lasted for a while more before I finally felt ‘relaxed’ enough to end the night.

Well, with someone singing Doraemon to me over the phone, of course ‘relaxed’, no?

I am pretty glad that I woke up without an ounce of muscle ache.

Okay, fine. Just a teeny weeny bit.

Problem with waking up at 5.30 in the evening is that I am freaking awake right now, and I feel like going for a jog.

Did I say that my stretch marks are awful and I have plenty of them?

Argh.