The first thing I did when I blinked open my eyes in the afternoon, after a rather fulfilling sleep(it would be better if SBB didn’t try to strangle me in my sleep), was to click on the comment section of my blog to see the reactions of friends regarding my.. well, breakthrough.

Cos, I didn’t quite tell anyone just as yet about it, except for a few close friends.

I mean, it happened too sudden, you see.

And heading to an impromptu interview without my papers and in an ultra short vampish scarlet skirt and slutty heels was… atrocious.

And no, my job has no sleaze in it, thank you.

Anyway, as I sat in front of the monitor, reading those comments, I am not sure what overwhelmed me.

I think it was a mix of emotions. Happiness. Relief. Jitters.

I crawled right into the bed, snuggled up close to SBB, and started sulking.

‘They make me wanna cry..’

Thanks people, you guys touched me.

And.

Then, I started tearing like a silly moose, and the man had to dip me into his chest as he chuckled at my absolute silliness.

I buried my head into the mattress to hide the embarrassment.

‘Oops I drooled,‘ I joked, staring at the wet patch on the sheets.

‘Yeah, you sure did.’

Hey to be fair, I didn’t drool last night. Which means, I didn’t drool on him!

And er, yes, I had drooled on him on the past 2 times he was bunking over(!!!!!!!!!). God, you forgot to add the demure element into me when You created me.

Sigh.

Anyway.

Suddenly, I am getting panicky.

You see, my colleagues and boss know I blog.

But I had refused to reveal this ahem, measly, insignificant piece of information to them.

What if…….

Oh no, just.. WHAT IF, they found out about my blog?

Which is really possible cos.. they know people, and.. are affiliated with bloggers(woo yeah, I hope I get paid to blog, which is highly likely!).

Then, just kill me can?

*Bites nails nervously*

Maybe.. it’s time to shift.

Maybe.. it’s time to close this site, before they shiver and tremble in fear with the revelation that a psycho in their midst.

Then again, I am glad to have met them yesterday to take into consideration of the working environment.

I thought I was pretty intimidated by the boss, perhaps because I know full well I am not who he is looking for. Though I think I gave classic bimbotic answers that are not too, textbook correct.

Oops.

Yet, the others had put me at ease, and are willing to give me a go.

And everyone seems like easygoing people to work with.

For that, I am looking forward.

And, for now, I am going to head out to town with SBB, to play game.

Gee, I am not sure why am I still playing game.

You see, there will be so much plenty more opportunities to do so in the future.

And I am not sure why am I still writing.

You see, there will be so much plenty more opportunities to do so in the future.

Ah, does that give you a glimpse of what is to come?

I shan’t say anything.. cos I feel lurking eyes.

I shall read up more tonight to get myself more acquainted with the field.

Yes baby, I can do it.

An innocent lunch at Marriott’s propelled the day to a… bizarrely fulfilling one.

Oysters!!! Desserts!!!

Buffet.

Burp!

Tea.

Marilyn Monroe moment.

Got selected for an assignment meant for 6th-8th, which was later turned down.

Being approached for an AIDS campaign casting(!!).

Afternoon’s craving for Battlefield NOT fulfilled.

Walked over to Bugis in crazy heels which blistered my feet badly for a short drink with Danny.. which… led me to City Hall.

Jinxed a couple of things.

Awfully late for Italian classes yet not missing much, and was able to keep up with the pace.

Coffee with a bundle of nice people who gave me ample encouragement.

Came up with something for the weekend.

Went over to E-games and….. ladies and gentlemen, this is Sergeant ScarlettTing sending her regards.

Yes, I finally got promoted.

Fulfilled my lust on the couch in my hall.

And to top it off?

I am gonna get a new wardrobe.

Why?

Ladies and gentlemen……….

In a mega twist of event, in 29 hours’ time, I will be offically off my unemployed status.

And I will be paid doing things many would be jealous of(well I know some of them already are! Though I myself ain’t too sure about delivering results)….

But no, having sex with cute hunks is not on the agenda.

And I am thankful to the One above for bringing the opportunity right to my door step.

And yes.

I am.. so.. gonna.. die… with my bodyclock in red alert to adjust to the abrupt, sudden change in my soon-to-be 10-7 lifestyle.

Tsk tsk.

Problem is, I am in my usual anal state, feeling too much pressure so as not to disappoint myself nor anyone.

Breathe, baby, breathe.

More from me tomorrow.

I need to snuggle upclose to ahem, a certain someone, for some assurance before I end what would be my last late night.. for the next couple of days.

March oh March. So much to look forward to.

Quaintly, last year’s March was a lifechanging one, too.

I know this comes a week late.

And actually, I have many other events’ recaps stored in my drafts, and are obscenely piled up.

Imagine how it would be to read about my Christmas and New Year…. in March.

Muahahaha.

***

I don’t like… broken promises.

Hey wait. Not broken promises. Uhm, how do I classify them since there wasn’t any verbal promises made?

I don’t like disrupted plans, or some sort.

I don’t like the feeling to have looked forward to some prior arrangements, and only to have them changed, or unfulfilled.

Like how when I was young, I had always wanted to be out with my family, especially when I don’t get to see Dad often.

He would perhaps mention something about bringing me out to somewhere on Sunday, and that Sunday would never come.

I would end up waiting, but never pushing him.

And somehow, the slight disappointment would build up, despite how I would have expected it to be unfulfilled, week, after week.

And it could just be a very vague mention, that I would have made a mental note that was enough to excite me, yet I would have to suppress it cos I knew well how it might not take place, at all.

And I think Dad doesn’t seem to understand that part of me well, even till this age.

I remember months ago, one evening, he was supposed to meet me for dinner. I waited, and waited.

I couldn’t quite understand why my disappointment was so great when he had clean forgotten about it over a game of mahjong, and it was past midnight when he had called me.

I had gone on an entire day without food, and I was, indeed, rather ouched by the entire episode.

Perhaps he just wasn’t keen at all.

***

On a more light-hearted note….

I nearly lost my virginity on last Friday night(the uhm, 17th), ya know?

Fortunately, I put up a fierce fight for my dignity, and walked away unscathed.

***

I only managed to sleep at 3 plus last Sunday, and the sleep was terribly awful with the stupid estate agent bringing flows of people to view the apartment.

Eventually, I slept on and ignore ALL the knocks on my door, and managed to sleep through the constant phone calls(they were in my house, just had no access to my room).

I woke up only at 9.

Played mahjong.

Got back.

Do house chores.

Feeling extremely tired.

That was my Sunday a week ago for ya.

Today?

I am so glad that I did not have to entertain any of those irritating knocks and patronising talks from him, and I slept blissfully from 6am(I have slept ahem, ‘earlier’, so I could wake up earlier… BUT..) to *gasp* 4.45pm.

I watched much television much on a Saturday night, and I gotta psyche myself up after this post to clean up my sty.

***

16th February, a Thursday.

I had slept on till 3.30pm after 9 hours of sleep, and had gotten ready to meet Mingwei at Jurong Point at 5pm.

I am embarrassed to say that I had spoken to SBB on the phone till it was 5pm, and had left home without makeup cos I was totally nauseous, and felt unwell.

I was a ghostly sight when I left for Jurong Point, and I couldn’t even eat much of my lunch.

Bad move.

Cos it was a blardy long day ahead.

We had to go to NTU for some Focus Group thingy, and he had roped me in for help.

We met up with Kirsten, and Songrong had picked us up from Jurong Point.

Oh, and I even managed to find Battlefield 2 game at Jurong Point. Hehehehe.

But there wasn’t any LAN shop. Sigh.

***

Reached NTU by 6 plus, and we waited to Jim. Met up with Jimmy and the very charismatic Dawn.

Had dinner at NTU canteen, and we looked totally out of place in the casually dressed undergraduates.

Moved on to Hall 9.

Bumped into a couple of ex-schoolmates who were part of the focus group.

Mingwei had ahem, told me it would end by 10 plus, 11.

And it had dragged on till 1am.

If not for me being anaemic, the long standing hours and lengthy waiting time would be easier.

I resent PMS, really.

***

We had supper nearby the school I used to teach, which is around the area.

It was 2 plus when we were done, and the guys had sent me down to Peninsula, cos I was craving for gaming.

Perhaps, surrounded by undergraduates ate off a bit of my self-esteem. Hahahaha.

And yes, I am one of those weirdoes who wouldn’t mind playing alone no matter how tired, and how anaemic I was feeling.

SBB’s craving was perhaps set off by me, and he decided to join me at the mad hours of morning after hearing I was alone.

***

It was 3am when I had reached there.

I am proud to announce that I achieved my highest score of 81 points, with 18 kills in a single game.

Woohoo.

It was 9am. We had breakfast at Burger King, and it was yummy. I had some problems orienteering myself, posing as a hazard as I threatened to walk into walls, pillars, people and a swaying picture on my heels.

I needed a cup of tea to sober up, and don’t ask me what was SBB’s middle finger making a statement there.

I like the way you look, as he referred to my pretty formal get-up for the occasion at NTU.

Black long sleeved shirt over a white lacey top, with a skirt.

It was 9am and I surprised myself with my total alertness after a cup of tea, and some nice breakfast, outside the place where I had camped almost throughout the night.

The 24-hour gaming place at Peninsula Plaza.

I might as well start working there, and traumatise everyone with my superduperpowerfullydreadfulpandaeyes.

Despite in a state of total mess at 9am, I am awed by the surprising fact that our stamina sustained us, and we battled it out at war all the way till…. it was *gasp* 3pm!

***

It was 4 plus when I finally got back home in the dreadful storm.

The cab had cruised along AYE when a loud crackle was heard too close for comfort.

I jumped slightly in the cab, and instinctively sunk lower into the seats, covering my ears, surrounded by the gush of rain slamming the windows of the cab.

The thunder was relentless, intimidating, and teased my fear further as it threatened to sneak nearer, and tormented me with its random timings.

***

It was the sort of thunder I so fear.

I was welcomed by another series as I stepped off the cab, into the openness.

I broke into a slight sprint into the lobby, covering my ears, and trying hard to block out my fear as I stood waiting for the lift.

I was worried about being stuck in the lift, somehow, but I thought it would be a better idea than to be stuck so near to the storm.

I zipped out of the lift, and it was yet another chilling, deep crackling that was almost breaking me down.

***

I was locked out outside my door for a while.

Well, not that I couldn’t find my keys, but because I was holding it with my right hand, which was stubbornly glued to my right ear.

My heart was racing at an abnormal speed and I was almost finding it difficult to breathe.

When I thought it was safe, I clumsily fumbled it into the keyhole, dashed into the house, kicked off my shoes, and almost found locking the door too redundant.

I sat outside my bathroom, not venturing into my room, and squatted there with my hands over my ears.

My ears ached, but there was no way I was going to be complacent with the neverending series of scary booms.

***

I called up almost anyone possible.

SBB, VampTreSS, Finicky Feline, Nick…

Nick was kind enough to entertain me till it was time I thought it was safe to shower when I heard the thunder seemed to be distant.

The moment I ended the blardy call, the freaking mother-of-all-thunders struck, and I let out a yelp and crouched into a ball.

*@#^&!@#%%!#*!#&*^!#^!@^#

Angry, you know?!

And then, as I was bathing, another 2, worse than the one that had scared the poo out of me, struck, and I was on the verge of succumbing to tears…

I quickly dried myself and got out of the showers.

***

It was quick phonecall with a very tired SBB, before I could hear the thunder drifting to other parts of the island, taunting other frightened souls.

And when I had wanted to dry my very wet hair, I was aghasted to find the blardy powerpoints all failed me.

I tried to go to the main switchbox and everything seemed to be in order, so there wasn’t anything for me to remedy it.

The thunder had killed the powerpoints, and I couldn’t blog, couldn’t dry my hair, couldn’t get my bedside light on, and.. I didn’t realise how I couldn’t charge my phone either.

Quite miraculously, the air-conditioner, the light switchers were still working.

And I couldn’t sleep with my wet hair, and I was becoming real grouchy.

It was almost 5, and I had to wake up at 8.30pm.

With everything in the way, and feeling terribly tired, I was almost thinking of giving the people-intensive party a miss.

***

Eventually, I slept with wet, damp hair, and it is one of the worst feelings in the world.

I woke up with my hair still wet when it was 9pm.

No lights, and my phone was failing me.

I still couldn’t access my desktop and I was totally miserable.

I was looking a mess.

Bad hair. Bad skin. Bad day to be socialising cos my social jitters were at their peak.

***

Met up with Finicky Feline who picked me up in a cab at Commonwealth MRT.

Wanyi called whilst we were in the cab and asked if we were in the mood to club.

Since we were heading to somewhat, er, club, we told her to come down instead, though she was rather hesitant about crashing our day out.

It is all good that she eventually did join us, cos her presence did brighten our evening so much more.

FF and I went down to MOS - Ministry of Sound, which was accessorised by its signature queue.

We managed to get in through the priority queue without much standing around.

We went to the restroom, only to see the awfully sweet Mandrake standing outside waiting for us to bring us to where they were cos some little bee had informed him of our arrival.

Wah. Royalty, huh?

And when we get to the Pure Room where all the actions were, it was stated, “For 25 and above“, but hello?! I ahem, am, under 25, ya know?

The social butterfly was darting in the midst of the crowd when we arrived, and we zoomed in on the quiet corner, and I….

…. unglamourously whipped out my phone and charged it right there and then!

I was in absolute glee when the screen litted up and went into charging mode.

It was a brilliant move, cos I got myself into SMS-marathon for most of the night.

Finally, the birthday lass noticed us, and we gave her a ceremonious hug before she went on to entertain other guests.

We sat down at a table, and looked on to the buzz… until Wanyi called and we went down to get her.

It was then I saw Zhiyang queueing, and he dropped by in the Pure Room to say hi slightly later.

The 2 babes who eased my social jitters for the night!

The 3 of us hit the main dance floor by ourselves too, and I must admit that I am getting pretty old with my dwindling stamina.

It was barely 15 minutes when we surrendered and headed back into the room for a drink.

***

Since the 2 of them were MOS-virgins and I was there barely once before, we butterflied through all the rooms.

When we were in the retro room, where Wanyi was curious to take a look at, I saw a familiar face in the crowd… and.. *gasp*, it was Ben(uhm, yeap, of BenTingism).

Eventually, I wasn’t sure if I should be saying hi since he seemed to be busy talking to 3 other friends. Quite coincidentally, I looked at my phone and he had messaged me 10 minutes earlier to ask where I was.

I eventually did walk up, and he didn’t seem to recognise me at all.

He exclaimed, ‘What have you done to your hair?!‘

Uhm, I wasn’t sure if it was meant in a negative manner or such, and went, ‘Well.. I didn’t have the time to maintain it.‘

Or rather, the moolah. Muahahaha.

And yeap, that was the first time I saw him.. since.. last late March.

He still looks pretty much the same, sounds pretty much the same.

He had found MOS sucky, and had left for Velvet halfway through the night, and had suggested for a meet up this week, but was yet again, unfulfilled. Heh.

Seriously, we are such different people, though he is indeed an interesting and charming friend.

***

And then, when the birthday girl was freed up a bit, we finally got a bit of actions going on.

And seriously, these pictures are not for those under 21s.

It all started out innocently for the picture above(don’t remind me about the thunderous thigh. I KNOW)…..

And I started to feel hands up my skirt…

Things simmered for a while as we sat around comfortably, watching the drunks making themselves silly.

No we weren’t bored. Really.

No, no drunks in this picture.

We became narcissists taking pictures of ourselves, after FF and Wanyi had triggered the trend.

Barffie looking smouldering. Woo yeah!

The gorgeous babes with me that night.

FHM shouldn’t be approaching these ladies. Playboy should.

Hurhurhur.

As the crowd shrunk with most leaving slightly past 1, it was when the wild ones were unleashed.

Janise left a wet spot on Wanyi’s top after she had posed for a picture in which she was licking Wanyi’s boob.

And she was insatiable.

She pushed me to a corner and………..

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And to my horror, she really did lift up the front of my skirt as she knelt before me.

Heck the stretch marks from teenage days. Boohoo.

But!!! She suddenly attacked me!!

And as if that wasn’t enough….

Wanyi and FF started taking upskirt pictures of me, and flipping the back of my skirt up.

FF started saying that I wasn’t wearing any beneath, and prompted Wanyi to yelp in lust disgust and wanted to flip it again to check it out. Hell! I was, alright?

Fortunately I was, or else I would have died when Janise tipsy-ly lifted the front of my skirt up unexpectedly.

And all the roaming hands came swift and fast as they flipped the front and back of my skirt as I tried to fend them off.

What the….?????

Oi! How could you guys do this to an innocent virgin?!

We did silly things for the camera.

Like, me humping Wanyi’s leg.

Like, Janise forcing me to return her the favour as she hung her thigh over my shoulder.

Me straddling atop of her as she lied down on the cushions.

And what’s with the blue light?

So XXX, right?

And I am not sure who commented I did not look I was in ecstasy enough.

The crazy antics halted for a while after FF and Wanyi had left, and Jan had insisted me to stay on for a little while more.

If I hadn’t stayed… I wouldn’t have walked to the entrance with Janise to wait for her friend, and as we leaned against the wall, I wouldn’t have saw…..

… Mr KG!

I thought I was just talking about him quite a bit the week before.

And then, blardy hell, I saw him.

And the weird thing was, the last time I saw him, was Janise’s birthday last year!

I was totally freaked out, when I turned away, flustered, and went, ‘OMG! Jan! Look behind me, and who’s that!’

She went, ‘Oh my God!’, before she shouted out for him across the noisy and crowded place.

He turned around and I turned away. She saw him, but he didn’t seem to recognise before he walked away.

I stood around there, almost too overwhelmed by shock, and totally amused.

We waited for a while more for the brilliant Barffie and the very awesome NaiveGuy, before we headed out into the open to wait for Janise’s friend.

Right then, we saw them again.

Janise went straight up to him and said hi, as I was dying for a spot to hide myself.

For a while, he didn’t recognise her, before I went up and apologised, ‘Sorry, ignore her, she’s just a bit high.’

He turned to me as he heard me speak, and a tinge of surprise wiped across his face for a brief moment, ‘Eh! You’re here too?’

Ahem, you would rather I am not right?

Bleah.

Anyway, we spoke normally as if nothing had ever happened, and he asked me about the gathering some week before.

It was quite.. alright.

Quite, uhm.. normal.

Quite uhm… okay.

Quite ahm… well… yah.. er.. uhm.. eh.. er.. not too bad.

Then I lifted my camera and offered to take a picture for Janise with him. And then, Janise in turn asked us to take a picture together and I got his friend into the picture as well.

As we walked away, Janise mumbled something about how it’s a choice to appear drunk… and then pulled me over for yet another picture to be taken with him.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

And then the awkwardness was apparent as I stood feets away from him.

She then cried out, ‘Stand so far away?! Can closer a bit or not?’

Ya lor, why you stand so far away, he asked.

I inched in a little before Miss Tipsy came over and pulled our hands across each other.

Well done.

I sure I wasn’t blushing and it was the sip of alcohol I had.

And here, I present, Mr KG.

His famous words, ‘Eh, don’t post on MSN ah.’

HELLO?!?! You think too highly of yourself, mister, why the hell would I put it as my MSN?

Hmphf.

***

NaiveGuy and Barffie very kindly sent Janise home, before giving me a lift home, thus, ending the very… interesting night.

***

I want you to be happy.

Happy birthday, once again, birthday girl.

It is perhaps one of my quietest weekends, ever.

I am slowing down the pace, and am pretty contended with the unhurried beat I had set myself in.

Though I am not sure if people around me could get used to it.

Perhaps I am not keen in giving people around me a cultural shock, I am considering holing up at home and staying in, instead of heading out, and indulge a tad too much in my private moments within a group of friends.

Seriously, I am the blandest and easily the most boring person to hang out with when I am in one of my less boisterous moods.

The problem is, I am neither down nor depressed when I am not speaking much, but it is just a side of me when I am not interested in putting up a social mask to entertain, like what I tend to do, or rather, act, when I am within a group.

I am just not out to entertain, and I am at ease with not speaking much.

But, I guess, when I am expressionless, I tend to look a tad too stern, or pissed, when I am not.

There isn’t much need to cheer me up, or insist I am tired or I am depressed, simply just because I am not speaking.

Instead, that makes me feel that it would be a better idea to stay home rather than head out when I decided to shed my clown costume.

And yes, the real me is a boring person to be hanging out with.

To dwell in silence, not necessarily means that I need to be left alone, and neither does it mean that I am in a bad mood, which I guess very few could really fathom.

Perhaps, it is just me. A real me that is unexpected cos I had been putting on too much an act for the longest time.

And I would feel better, if everyone just talk to me normally, and not being excessively lame like a certain Mr Pea-cockOstrich that almost borderline on being an annoyance.

I admire his relentless patience though.

Muahahahaha.

Till the next time, when I have enough energy, perhaps I would set myself back into those crap-talking goofiness that would perhaps fit others’ definitions of being, well, ‘normal’.

And yes, even this post is beginning to sound awfully boring.

***

I have been over-eating for the past week.

PMS is no longer an excuse, and I am serious when I say that I am feeling an abundance of guilt for eating too much, today and yesterday.

Oh, and any other day for the past week.

Freaking hell. I seriously am thinking of splashing over 100 bucks for a box of Tummitrim.

***

My sleeping pattern is finally getting some routine.

I woke up at 2.30pm today, after slightly less than 8 hours of slumber time.

Played mahjong, lost heavily, and to top of the awful feeling, I was ahem, ‘forced’ to have dinner with them, though after yesterday’s binging, I was trying to convince myself to skip this meal.

I had wanted to return home after the game ended. But my lazybones refused to carry me home, and I hopped on the cab with Alvin, Denise and Eric, and headed to Bukit Timah Hawker Centre instead.

And the guilt from excessive eating till I was on the verge of puking is enough to put me off food for…… 3 weeks days hours.

We headed back to Alvin’s for yet another game of mahjong, before I ended my Saturday prematurely at midnight.

Got the laundry in, washed the bathroom, did a bit of chores, showered….

How prettily mundane my life is these days!

***

I greeted the day at 12.30pm yesterday, Friday.

I felt like doing something.

So I checked the movie listings online, and decided to catch Munich at the cinema.

Was still feeling a tad anaemic, and thus, didn’t venture too far.

Got a ticket at Jurong Point.

I went down to the mall at around 1.30pm, and had a quick lunch before I watched the 2.15pm show.

Coincidentally, the guy who was sitting next to me was watching the show alone, too.

Cool.

I was silently dreaming up of scenerios of how cool it would be if he was some suave, cute, handsome chap, and a quaint romance would bud between us….

You know, the works and such?

But of course, none of such happened.

***

Well, in another twist of the drama that involved my cousin, I was utterly shocked to be informed by Nick whilst watching the movie that, my cousin, was borned on the exact same date, as I do.

Except that MinMin korkorhe is 4 years older.

7 March 1977, 7 March 1981.

I am freaking pissed that the date is drawing near, and I still have no plans or whatsoever.

And I AM SO NOT KEEN ON NICK’S IDEA ON DATING MY COUSIN ON THAT DAY.

9 blardy days.

9 freaking days.

I don’t want to be 25.

Boohoohoo.

***

VampTreSS was amused with the coincidence and commented that the quaint coincidences were too… amazing.

She suggested that we should become sworn brudder and sista.

‘Hello!?!?! What talking you?! He is already my cousin, and my dad’s godson, we are already godbrutha and sista! What difference is there?!’

***

Munich is a brilliant movie in my opinion.

I like it.

And not just because I got to see Eric Bana’s toned, sexy butt(oh my oh my!) in it.

Sometimes, it makes us think about the price of the supposed, world peace.

But sometimes, we lose sight of what is really important, of what is right.

We might think we are doing something for a cause, but we might end up finding ourselves fighting for nothing.

***

I think my hormones are raging these days.

I have no idea if it has anything to do with the fact that I am hitting 30 soon.

Uhm, well, 25 is the first step you know?

I can’t imagine how I might be a hazard to the society when I am 30 when…. I am already, well, uh, like that, when I am barely 25.

***

Got home in the evening to catch American Idol, watched a bit of television, before I dozed off for a short nap.

Headed out with Eric, Denise and Alvin to this pub in Boat Quay, and spent some time chilling out there.

Glasses clad, slippers, and dishevelled, I was slightly uncomfortable with the fact that I might bump into someone I know from my previous workplace there.

Gee, and how glad I was that I didn’t.

Oddly, I received messages from 2 guys I would have loved to date in the past asking where I was for the night.

I was so not going to meet up with them in the state I was.

No freaking way.

***

Got back after supper with the 2 guys, watched ice skating on television, got online, read a bit, did all the silly, boring stuffs, spoke to SBB a bit, and finally dozing off in the midst of watching television some time before 7am.

And now, I would perhaps watch some DVDs.

How homely I am.

The perfect kind to bring home to your mamas and papas.

*COUGH*

Got this off LittleMissDrinkalot.

And what does my handwriting say about me?

It says I am a handful.

It says I am aggressive. (Meow… I really am not)

It says I am -gasp gasp gasp- sexually deprived.

It says I am sarcastic.

It says I have lotsa pride. Hell yah.

It says I am secretive.

It says I have secrets I don’t want to share with others. Shhh….. yes, I have a big secret on the bed, rather than in the closet.

It says I am investigative and creative.

It says I am planned(that’s so blardy untrue) have moderate esteem that is slightly high(Uh..).

And oh, it says I poke other people harder than I get poke. Hello?! I get poke more often in more ways than one, alright(sometimes, 2 or 3. Ahem!)?

I don’t like such tests, you know?

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer’s attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Scarlett has no white space or margins on a typical sheet of paper. Scarlett fills up every last inch on the top, right, left, and bottom. Hmmm. If this is true, then Scarlett has a very aggressive personality toward others and quite frankly lacks a bit of respect for the space and property of other people. I would be surprised if Scarlett just comes into someone’s home and helps herself to a drink in the refrigerator. This can be both an obnoxious personality trait and it can be assertive and effective in getting what you want. There isn’t much fear of getting in trouble here, Scarlett finds plenty of reasons to break the rules and get in trouble. (Okay, perhaps when she was younger, not anymore?) Basically, people with no margins are a handful.

Something is incomplete in Scarlett’s life. She feels frustration relating to her physical needs and desires. Somewhere in her life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Scarlett’s sexual needs.

Scarlett is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

Scarlett is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn’t necessarily mean things go as planned. Scarlett basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality– not too “out of reach”. She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.

In reference to Scarlett’s mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Scarlett slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project. She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Scarlett can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Scarlett is secretive. She has secrets which she does not wish to share with others. She intentionally conceals things about herself. She has a private side that she intends to keep that way, especially concerning certain events in her past.

Scarlett will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with honor and dignity. Scarlett believes in her ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.

Scarlett is a very emotional person with a broad range of emotions from the highest highs to the lowest lows. She feels emotional situations very strongly. She’ll flash to the very peaks of elation, sweeping everything before her. Then, for some reason unknown to herself, she will burn out emotionally. These mood swings can be very disturbing to her. Sometimes, she feels that she can no longer produce anything. But, after given some time alone to “recharge her emotional batteries“, she will spring back into action. Because Scarlett feels situations intensely, she relates easily to others’ problems. If she is not careful, when she comes into contact with someone who is in a depressed frame of mind, she will also suffer the same emotions and change moods. Scarlett reacts impulsively, without much thought before hand. She may plan everything in detail before she even begins, then do it completely different when the time comes to carry it through. Scarlett has a strong need for affection. She thrives on touching and being touched. Scarlett desires being told that she is loved, every day. She enjoys being the center of attention. She loves attention, sometimes she even retells stories that got her attention earlier. Scarlett has the possibility of being a actor or natural born salesperson, simply because she relates so well to other people. She likes expressing how she feels, what she is doing, and what she plans to do. She is a people person. She will work most efficiently in a people orientated job as opposed to a job working alone on an assembly line (that would drive her insane.)

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Scarlett doesn’t write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

Woohoo. And now, I am back to watching my American Idol repeat telecast on the cable.

Though I had tried hard to retune my body clock back to normal by waking at 1pm, after 8 hours of sleep today……

The end results failed badly when I napped at 3.30pm, only to find it was 8.30pm when I woke up.

You see, I was rolling in pain, and was terribly anaemic to do anything else, besides hogging the phone for a couple of hours with SBB, and drifted back to sleep.

Anything else like heading out to get myself promoted.

Had plans to head back to Johor to have dinner with Mum, but she declined the offer cos she didn’t want me to make my way back all by myself.

Thoughts suffice, she said.

I wished her happy birthday, before she thanked me.

Odd, but nice.

I am bored with my blog. I feel like shifting it elsewhere.

I am bored with my hair.

But SBB forbade me to cut it short nor shave it bald cos he insisted he is not done with me yet, and I am not allowed to.

Bleah. Selfish prick.

‘But the previous one doesn’t have long hair!’

‘Yah! Look how long she lasted!’

‘But that’s not the reason why she didn’t last.’

‘Erm…. Yah… but oh well, no you can’t, cos I say so *add in cheeky laughs here*.’

So. Oh well.

And he threatened to upload video clips of ours and send it to GeekGeek kill me many many times when we play Battlefield together the next time, dothingstoographictobementionedhere, and even more outrageously, get into a jeep with many people in it when I am in a tank, and drive them into me, so I would get negative points for multiple teamkills.

The audacity! The horror!

So, I shall have long hair for a while more.

By the way, I shall now go swoon over David Radford(oh man, 17!), Kevin Covais(Gosh! 16!), Will Makar (yet another 16!) and Taylor Hicks!

They make me oh-so.. *beep* *toot* *Arrrrr Grrrrr….* Roar!

Someone lock this paedophile here up, will ya?

But who says I am only in for younger chaps? Ace Young is of my age, and he is so freaking sexyyyyyyyyyyy!

Let’s just say I am not just drooling from the sides of my lips.

Why oh why do they not have such 16 years-old locally?

Ah, just as well, before I prowl and make the streets unsafe for them.

Hubba hubba! Come to momma!

It doesn’t make sense when you feel out of sorts and resent having lunch all by yourself.

You go all out to search for one, and are willing to head all the way to town just for lunch.

Like I did. I met up with Nick at Sim Lim Square, and had a short lunch with him from 1.30pm to 2.30pm.

Well, at least I got myself a lunch mate.

It doesn’t make sense when you feel easily agitated when you would have taken things in your stride usually.

Like I did. After I had walked from Sim Lim Square to ParkLane, I was disappointed to find the place we used to play Battlefield 2 has no Special Forces, nor did it get the patch, and thus, I was unable to play.

I stood up and left only after 10 minutes. The only consolation is, I wasn’t charged for it.

It doesn’t make sense when your enthusiasm runs out fast, with abundance of the dreaded lethargy when playing your favourite game, something you had been looking forward to.

Like I did. Despite the intense craving, a 3-hours game after I had located another LAN gaming shop at the basement with the patch and works, I was swift to feel stifled by the below-expectation performance of so-near-yet-so-far-Sergeant-ScarlettTing.

To the point that I just simply didn’t feel like continuing though I did have some time to spare.

But it does make sense that you feel incredibly angry with yourself, after you lose a piece of frequently-worn top, which you carry around to keep yourself warm, after you allow it to hang loosely from your bag.

Stupid fool.

It doesn’t make sense that you feel somewhat annoyed with the presence of someone you adore hanging out with. You feel something about him repels you, or that you are paranoid that he finds you repulsive.

Like I did.

SBB had joined me for gaming for a short while from a quarter past 4, and 2 hours forth.

I don’t feel like saying anything, and I don’t know what to say. My thoughts were like there, but not there.

It doesn’t make sense that the Italian lessons that so intrigue you, make you wish that you could get the hell out of the classroom, after you feel like a complete fool with those difficulties.

Like I did. I didn’t enjoy the class at all, and I couldn’t concentrate. I just wanted it to end, as soon as possible.

It doesn’t make sense that you didn’t want to be home, yet you don’t really want to be out merrying.

Like I did. I was dying to get home, yet I was too reluctant too. I ended up roaming on the streets outside United Square, not knowing what to do, where to go.

It doesn’t make sense that you wanted to eat dinner, yet don’t want to have it alone. Yet, the reluctance of making the long dreaded journey home, makes you do so.

Like I did. When I sat down at McDees for a McSpicy meal I so craved for, after Dad couldn’t join me for dinner.

It doesn’t make sense that you call up anyone and everyone, just to find someone to have a fag break with, regardless where they are.

Like I did. I called up a few people to ask them where they were, and asked if they would want to meet up nearby their place to sit down for a quick fag before I head home.

It doesn’t make sense that I just wish to have people around me for the whole of today, yet I feel terribly anti-social to be part of a gathering.

Like I did.

I don’t usually actively look for company, but I did.

But it sure was coincidental. I called Nick up and he was on his way out, to Novena, which was just minutes of walk away.

It doesn’t make sense that you are walking aimlessly on the streets, along the road, and as you scroll through your phone list, you break down and sob, for no whatsoever reasons.

Like I did, when I was looking for people to keep me on the phone, outside United Square, after the MP3 player suddenly blasted, ‘I walk a lonely road…’

It doesn’t make sense that your friends are already at a nearby joint 100 meters away, and you decided to head to somewhere quiet, dark and deserted to sit down for a fag by yourself, sulk all alone, shed a few tears, psyche yourself up to be your usual self, before you join them slightly later.

Like I did. When I stopped by the Revenue House to sit in the chilly wind, looking the world floated by, tainted by the ghosts from the cigarette.

It doesn’t make sense that you feel like going away when you hear some other friends are joining.

Like I did.

It doesn’t make sense that it took you 2 delayed seconds before you realise you are burnt.

Like I did.

I was so consumed by the sudden grounchiness that as I was throwing the strap of my bag over my shoulder, my exaggerated action caused my right hand, with a litted ciggie, to stub it into my left arm, near the fold of my elbow.

And I didn’t even realise it, and the butt stayed there for an extra 2 seconds as I tried to throw my stuffs back into my bag with my left hand.

Ouch.

With my such ‘deranged’ state of mind, it could have easily been mistaken as an intentional act.

I laughed at the irony of it.

Quaintly, it shook me up a little, and sobered me up. I didn’t feel that much detachment from the reality thereafter.

Tsk tsk. Pain does work.

It doesn’t make sense that you don’t even bother to put on a social self, and allow the silence to bug your friends.

Like I did. Kelvin couldn’t stop mocking about the change and asked why was I unusually quiet, which I wasn’t quite listening to since I was engrossed with my magazine.

It doesn’t make sense that you couldn’t wait to leave when you are starting to enjoy your company.

Like I did. When Dad picked me up from Novena at 11pm, I was just starting to warm up to the group, yet a part of me just wanted to get away.

It doesn’t make sense that you have an incessant urge just to stay home, undisturbed for the next couple of days, that you buy yourself VCDs from the petrol kiosk so you would have a reason to excuse yourself from everyone.

Like I did.

It doesn’t make sense that you suddenly yearn to be close to someone you would rather stay far away from.

Like I did.

Happy birthday, Mum. Thursday is your day.

Everything just doesn’t make sense for today.

I dozed off at 1.30am. And felt better when I was woken up at 2.30am when SBB called.

It doesn’t make sense when you are tired, yet there was great reluctance to go back to sleep.

Like I did.

Thus, I watched CSI: Miami, drooled over David Curiso, treated myself to an ice-cream cone, and got myself blogging despite not having enough sleep.

***

It was then, 3am.

The contractions in the tummy was unmistakenable.

And woohoo, everything DOES blardy make sense now.

Yay! I am not crazy.

I was just, oh well, PMS-sy.

You see, once it flows, phew, it bled insanity with it.

I just have to grit my teeth through the last phase of the month and bear with the mess, the iron deficiency, and gee, the rolling around the bed in pain like what I am going to do now.

What joy! Of being a female.

For some odd reasons I couldn’t quite explain, I feel a tad weird today.

You know how I could always manage doing things all my myself, like, lunch by myself, watch a movie by myself, shop by myself and et cetera?

Strangely, I don’t want, and have great resentment having lunch all by myself today.

Yes, I don’t normally eat lunch, but I desperately want to lunch today. Yes, I don’t normally have lunch with people, yet I yearn for a lunch partner today.

The weird thing is, I don’t mind shopping alone, gaming alone, roaming alone on the streets thereafter, before Italian class beckons in the evening.

I guess that is what sleeping at 5am(which is early on my part, after seeing the only goal from Arsenal in that unexciting match with Real Madrid. Boo!), and kickstarting the day at 9am, can do to me.

I should be sleeping at 12pm, and waking up at 8pm. That seems to be more ‘me’.

Oh well.

I shall head out, and let’s hope I won’t stay out like the last time I did on Monday.

So I could catch up a little with CSI’s latest season, and the repeat telecast of American Idol later in the night too since I would be out till at least 10pm. If I could last till THAT late with waking hours starting from 9-blardy-am.

I must make a mental note to bring my phone out.

And oh yes, I must try pysching myself up, so I would not be lazy to head home to Malaysia tomorrow for a short dinner(What about YY who wanted to do dinner, ZY who wanted to do dinner, and BY who wanted to do dinner?! All had wanted to do dinner this week. Oops!).

I really should do so. It’s her birthday.

What can I say? It is really an odd day.

But not as odd as what this man had drafted out for his wife, as a marriage contract.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html

Stupid Dexter had unsuccessfully convinced me to memorise and practise it cos that’s what every woman should be. *SNEER!*

And GeekGeek, I would gladly be your informant before I jinx any of such ‘economical’ places, though your ‘Dear Ting..’ message had came as a rather disappointing.

Afterall, I had appealed for videos, you know?

That aside.

But I am immensely impressed, and admired you for your sense of justice. And yes, we lack so many of such righteous people in the society to make things right.

Ahem. We are talking about intellectual property here, you know?

You are the best person, I reckon, to be advocating about such. Like you, I support everything original, and such.

Here’s the trade. So, send me some darn original videos, and I will scout throughout the island for a list of ‘economical’ hangouts for ya.

Deal?

… When in a span of a week:

A friend shows you a wedding picture of his ex-girlfriend, and you realise it was the exact same picture a friend had shown you of her ex-boyfriend.

Gosh. Their exes are married to each other now.

Then.

A blog reader sends you a picture of his friend’s ex-girlfriend, and asks if it is the same girl you posed on a picture with on your blog.

Then.

A friend is over at your place lounging in front of the monitor, and you show him the pictures of Janise’s party, and he exclaims, ‘EH! Is this guy John?!’

Yup, indeed it was John, who works at Ministry of Sound, I confirmed.

‘He was my ex-schoolmate!’

Oh well.

So small the world.

Then.

A new friend who happens to find out about your blog, adds you to his favourite list, and then realised that he already has you in it all along, after someone had passed him the links some time back.

Then.

I am now waiting for people to start emailing me such:

Dear Ting,

I have been reading your blog. You know the XXX whose pictures you have posted? You blogged that he/she is the friend you partied/played mahjong/gamed/dined/dated/went out with.

I recognised him/her from your blog and fond memories flooded up!

I have a steamy, raunchy, kinky sex video of the 2 of us cos he/she was one of the guys/girls I slept with.

Would you like to have a look?

Your ardent reader,
Sexy

If the day does come, please add in some moaning or deep throating, okay?

Something that were missing from the recent clip(I want one too!) that rocked this scandalous yet overly-judgmental island.

I promise I won’t release it to the world, and is purely for personal erm, comparison gratification only.

YOU REALISE YOU ARE A JINX…

In the same breath, you realise you are a jinx when…

… you were out with ex-boyfriend, and passed by a shop in the town centre nearby.

They sell ‘economical’ software.

You innocently chirped, ‘Wah! This is courageous man, they are not even discreet about it. Don’t they ever get busted?‘

Few days later, the ex-boyfriend read the papers and relayed to you that the shop was busted for selling pirated softwares, with its address stated out by the press.

Oops.

Then, it happened with the ex-boyfriend on another occasion and the ex-boyfriend decided that my jinx factor premonition is strong.

I blame it on coincidence.

Some weeks ago, I am not exactly sure where were SBB and I were, but it was somewhere in town where we had sashayed hand-in-hand past this shop near our usual gaming place, and I joked about how I was dying to get my Battlefield 2 pack.

He then pointed to my left and told me that it was a place which sells pirated software, but it wouldn’t allow me to play online if I were to buy it.

I left it as that.

‘Oh! Wah, so prominently located in town? Don’t they ever get busted?’

I have no idea. They have been around for quite a while.

Then the old episode came fresh to mind.

‘Oh! You know something funny….’

I excitedly rattled off the old episode and laughed at the memory.

‘………. And gee, I had instinctively said the same thing again!‘

Before I finished, I received a vicious stare from him…

Then I knew why.

‘Ahem. It better not happen, you jinx! I get my dosage of games from here, ya know?!’

I laughed and uhm, muttered something like I am not a jinx or some sort, and if I was that spot-on, I would have became a millionairess by being a clairvoyant, sans crystal ball.

Then.

A week ago, SBB had met up with me, and his first sentence was nowhere near a sweet nothing.

‘You jinx! I wanted to buy my games and it was busted and had closed down.’

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooops.

He reached over to pinch my tummy and growled at me.

Really. I am not a jinx.

Honest.

If there is a lack of updates from me(er.. yah, I haven’t updated my Thursday, Friday, Sunday, Monday, and gasp, today, did I?), the explaination is pretty plain to see.

4 hours of sleep each day over the weekend wasn’t doing much to clear the constipation of words.

And, my addiction to Battlefield 2 is hardly healthy.

I only left Peninsula Plaza at 9am this morning, got home at 10 and got to sleep after a shower, a phone call with SBB, a phone call with VampTreSS, surfed a little, munched junk food a little… blarblarblar.

I only got to sleep at 1pm in the afternoon.

So it is no wonder that when SBB called at 10pm, I was still in the midst of my dreamy state.

It is no wonder that I had been dreaming nothing but Battlefield 2 Special Forces.

I am sure there is a kinky dream or two amongst all the weird combination of dreams, but they hardly registered as much as the steamy actions on the battlefield.

This is so no good.

I told myself I would swear off Battlefield 2, but there doesn’t seem to be anyway, especially when I am just 160 points short of yet another promotion.

You see, yesterday not only did I get a bronze medal in one game, I got my basic armour award, most flag captures, best teamwork, most revive and heal, and best squad, in the same game!

I like getting ribbons, medals and badges! Perhaps to make up what I never had, hahaha.

So, tallying the hours.

5.30pm-8pm yesterday evening with SBB at E-games(the connection puts him off though), before he gave me a lift to United Square for my Italian lessons.

No amount of pouting and sulking could sway his insistence on me to attend my much-missed lessons.

So, I ended up being an hour and 15 minutes late, and attended the lesson for only 45 minutes.

It is no wonder that as I read back the archives, I found that all the lessons which I had conveniently excused myself from, were due to the evilness of Battlefield.

But at least SBB managed to tear meI managed to tear myself away, albeit reluctantly, from the monitor this time round.

And so, I managed to catch up a little with the lessons before it was concluded by 10 past 9.

I was relatively tired from er, uhm, ahem, long night, some sort of sleep deprivation, and just.. didn’t really wanna endure the long train ride home.

You see, the train ride would take me Novena to City Hall, before I have to change a train to Jurong.

And you see, the train stops conveniently at City Hall, which is just 5 stops away.