BECAUSE I DIDN’T WIN THE TOTO…..

Some couple of weeks ago, during one of those somber conversations with SBB, I was almost in a state of hysteria(probably PMS-induced, too) from the frustrations rising from the stagnancy of my predicament.

Of course, that was then, before I found some sort of direction in my life.

Freelance work is scarce, and I am not banking too much hope on those on-and-off assignments cos I am aware how stiff competition really is, though they do earn me decent stuff to get by.

I was not given the go ahead for any full-time job just as yet, and it was not something I wanna dwell on at that moment as the paper works were still being sorted out. Yes, frustration and little else.

‘Since you are spending a great deal of time online, why not look out for decent opportunities and try something out. Say, a technopreneur?’

Huh?

You should hear the contemptuous response I gave, that was almost accompanied by a sneer.

Hello?!?! Hurhur.

Where did that corny name come from, I mocked. And where did that silly idea spring from?

It was a subject of foreign interest to me, and my incapabilities with anything that do with websites and God-knows-what kind of scripts have made me grossly handicapped.

And shall we not forget the cynicism in me?

Com’on, we have never heard anyone around us who DO make lotsa money from the Internet, have we?

And why is everyone not doing so if it is indeed lucrative to source out for business ideas on a reality that has endless possibilities, yet isn’t substantially real enough for some of us to take it really seriously?

I would rather try the Toto!

With a roll of my eyes, and my usual tinge of divaism, I gave a wave of dismissal, throwing the lame suggestion out of the window, and perhaps leaving a friend with nothing but good wills slightly pissed as I debated my way through to slam down his suggestions.

Never assume too soon, I learnt.

Some weeks ago, I was dropping by a friend’s place to chill out, after he had quit his legal practice.

He was homebound for quite some months, and had no intention to get back into the rat race, despite the incessant naggings from his mum, who suspected her son to be facing some major mid-life crisis by quitting his job that offers not only prestige, but awfully plump salary, too. She was further worried when she saw how the son paid attention to little else, except for the old, cranky set of desktop at home.

Oh dear, oh dear. My son must have experienced some major setback, she must have thought.

I was curious, and even more so when he lightly commented, ‘There just doesn’t seem to be a way to convince my mum that I am earning much more at the comfort of my own room, in 2 hours, doing whatever I am enjoying, rather than be out there in a stiff suit, battling out in the corporate field, tiring myself.’

I held my breath for that moment, and was duly impressed.

2 hours?

Is there any better bullshit than this?

He is generating a much juicier piece of income from the internet.

Say, I was over at another friend’s place some nights ago, and he too, has a prestigious career, and a fat bank account from his decent pay.

I was lazing as his eyes were glued to the monitor, hardly ever giving me any attention as a guest.

I was there for only a brief 15 minutes, before I decided I shouldn’t overstay my welcome.

Suddenly, a dramatic punch into the air, and a deafening ‘WOOHOO!’ rang through the originally silent evening, scaring the poo poo out of me.

‘I have just made 400 bucks!! I am happy for the night.’

No shite!

I would not just be happy if I just spent those 15 minutes to make 400 bucks without compromising my dignity and principles.

It was then when he finally peeled away from the monitor to offer me a decent chat after I witnessed how the money rolled in effortlessly with his bit of foresight and planning.

That was it for his one day of work????

Well done.

It brewed, and roused the curiosity in me, really.

I was talking to SBB again, sharing my observations, and this time, giving his suggestions a serious consideration, and take it a tad more seriously than before.

He too said he had no idea why he had suggested it to me, though he himself has no experience in this field, and even barer knowledge about the entire issue. His only knowledge about computers limited to his work, and perhaps, *roll eyes* all sorts of gaming.

It seems like everyone DOES agree that the internet has vast potentials with lucrative income-generating resources, but seem to have the best-kept secrets to themselves eh?

So UNFAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why they got good ideas never share with me and slowly becoming a loaded pig by themselves?

What is it really? Is it even trustworthy??

Is it because how people would view it as a sideline that has no future, and we are afraid of people laughing at our stupidity, hence we don’t really give such a concept a thought? Or even fearful to admit to people that we are dabbling with something that seems unreal to them just because of the potential putdowns?

Questions and questions and questions. I am naturally curious, remember?

We concluded the conversation fruitlessly, with more questions running amok in my mind.

I just didn’t know enough. Damn.

Gee! I wonder if it’s prayers answered!

Slightly a week later, a friend who followed my blog consistently had taken notice of my ‘ample leisure time’, thus, striking up a conversation.

I will start selling my used, stained, cartoon cotton undies online on E-bay if I do really become desperate, I chirped with a sigh, yet with a slight tinge of positivity.

Is anyone even gonna buy?! He mocked.

Basket.

I shall make it a MNC. I shall market them in Japan, and perhaps, use models who are anyone but me. Would that be a wiser decision?! *roll eyes*

After some childish bantering, it brought up the notion of internet enterprises, again.

How quaint.

Apparently, I didn’t realize I was speaking to another technopreuneur again, and express my doubts and admitted that everything about it seems unfathomable to me.

Hey, why don’t I send you some E-books I have? Some products I am selling. I hope you’ll learn something from those, and perhaps, it might give you some help to clear your doubts, or perhaps, give you some directions too. And hello?! They cost me a bomb okay?

Yeah, right, I thought.

I didn’t bother about those files he sent, writing him off as another loony in count.

Until my recent urge for reading, was I prompted to do so.

It was as if my queries were answered, and I realized I sat through brilliant writeups after writeups….

I then realized I have been doing everything wrong!

I looked at the miserable adsense banner on my blog and laughed at my silliness that I had thought that is the only probable way of generating (slow) income on the internet.

How wrong was I?

To show me how everything works, I had met up with this friend in person, though my intention was solely on catching up over coffee, and little else.

Holly Mamma Mia Moo Moo Cow!

Over the next few days, I witnessed how he was making US$20, 000 in blardy, freaking FOUR days!

And no, the terrible miser did not share any of that bit with me.

I swore to him I would win the Toto, and those wouldn’t mean a thing to me.

NOTHING!

I smirked confidently, until my hopes were all dashed, on Friday night.

BOOHOOHOO. After staring at the arrays of numbers for hours, TRYING to match number for number, I didn’t win the Toto, and neither did I become an instant millionairess.

ANGRY!!!! SO ANGRY!! WHY NOT ME?!

Life is so unfair. Terrible!

I didn’t know how he managed, but then he then showed me the secrets to it.

He learnt everything from the exclusive files he sent me, which on hindsight, had indeed a treasure trove of precious valuable knowledge.

I was thankful that he had sent me those on the house, cos those are private materials used for a convention he had paid a hefty sum for.

It would have cost me more than a 1000 to get it man!

But, I can fully understand why the products were valued at such a hefty sum, after reading through the interesting, comprehensive and insightful files, and listening to audios of successful people sharing their secrets to success.

If you guys are interested in wanting a stress free money making lifestyle, I really do urge you guys to get the products from here, at a GREATLY ABSORBED PRICE with plenty of bonuses that come along.

WWW.DIALOGUESV.COM

Highly recommended!

It is a porn site, really.

He will give away free naked pictures of himself sexy babes just for you to browse his site.

*Cough*

Yes, it would seem like shameless advertising to you, but for a friend who has shared pretty much with me generously, and is a proven result of success, I just thought it would be mutually beneficial, and it does open up the mind of people who are plagued by cynicism.

Then again, the problem with us as people, is that we tend to be overworriers(haha! Yes yes, that would be me), and most people just loved to be stuck in a dead-end job that offers prestige and little else.

I think the prospects of being stuck in an 8-5 jobs, minus the overtime, seems erotically enticing that it would be good enough.

It is also because that the narrow-mindedness of people tends to cloud judgments, and constricts them in a shrunk-sized universe that new things scare you.

So this product is hardly for everyone.

And I seriously doubt it is for you if you are one of those.

Because I didn’t win the Toto, and neither do I think you had, I guess we might as well give it a shot.

Muahahahahaha.

I was worried about the risks involved.

As I read on, I realized how there wasn’t any catch, no sleaze, and minimal risks involved in such online enterprises.

Hmm what did you just say? You don’t know anything about web design, writing, or using a computer?

Fret not.

Seriously, friend’s a complete himbo, and the only thing he knew how to use a computer for was to play CS and surf porn(pretty much the same as me, but I use my computer to blog, MSN, AND surf porn). But I must say I’m very impressed with how he had managed to put a rather professional site together in less than a week.!

Gasp! Does that make him a himbo no more?! Uhm, not true. It just shows that a himbo can do it, ahem, so can you. Muahahaha.

You just have to be creative enough, and you could virtually start something from nowhere! Hurhur never knew coming up with a unique product was so easy.

And yes, ladies and gentlemen, the readings of the products from www.dialoguesv.com has done me –cough- great good (Darn, this is beginning to sound like a sales pitch and I am not getting paid for this!).

Now, I shall declare myself, a boss!

Yes! A boss! I could manipulate everyone the way I want, lecture anyone the way I want, not turning for work as and when I want, and have everyone licking my toes to suck up to me!

Yay! I am all almighty! Because I am my own boss! I don’t have to suck others’ toes anymore!

Not that I did that before.

But!

I shall hereby launch my first internet enterprise!

Oh yes! On my blog.

*Drums roll*

Thanks to GeekGeek, I was inspired….

Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to present… the infamous, sizzling, sensational, breath-taking, jaw-dropping video, which is bound to rock the local media, capsize the entire blogosphere.

Exclusively here, on http://joewei.blogspot.com!

Of course, this is a business idea, isn’t it? And it shall be a pay-per-view item, specially catered for you readers!

All for the special launch price of US$9.99!

Wait a minute!

And you would think I am banking on the recent hoo-ha and uploaded a much-talked about clip for profits, don’t you?

You couldn’t be more wrong.

***

XYZ: good then you should put up a video of yourself next
Tingism: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM i was jus viewing one
XYZ: HAHAHA ur own?
Tingism: hahahahahahahahhahaahahahahaa
Tingism: do i look like that sort?
XYZ: ummm

Mr GeekGeek and his suggestion.

Hurhurhur.

Yes, darlings, the video is an exclusive video clip of… a live MSN video chat featuring the lengendary dickonosaurus cerebus palpatineus von obiwan kenobicus Kenny Sia.

And here are the exclusive, snippets to the high-resolution video, that would prove what a scandalous, adrenalin-inducing, breath-taking, erotic it is!

***

It all started innocently over MSN some evenings ago..

Tingism: i want ur boxerssssssssssssss

Kenny Sia: friend got it for me in perth

Tingism: awww okay

Kenny Sia: how about i send it over to you

Kenny Sia: like, personally deliver it to your doorsteps.

Tingism: hmmmmmmm that wud do too actually

Kenny Sia: or bedroom floor

*Cough*

Ladies and gentlemen, here’s the never-been-seen-before teaser, screenshots from the video!

And then…

And then…

And then…

And then…

Yummy! *slurp slurp*

To top the video off, the log file to the chat would be available at US$0.99, a special discounted price only available at joewei.blogspot.com!

How’s that for bonuses?

And you could read the full transcript of the conversation below:

Kenny Sia: you’re smooth like fluid

Kenny Sia: i’m hard as a rock

*Cough*

The end results?

Move over Tammy NYP, we have Kenny NYP – Nectareous Yummy Pe… uhm, let’s no go there.

What are you waiting for?

T-shirt sold separately at US$19.90!

Grab yours while stocks last.

How’s that for technopreneurship?