1st June is a historic day.

I learnt much about life, people, and how God is marvellous.

I learnt about professional ethics, I learnt about people who are slow to warming up, I learnt about people who would stare at your boobs and not talk to your face, I learnt about people who are pretty nice to work with but have not-so-good working attitude, I learnt about people whom I knew from my writing job, and how God had placed them there to guide me along, I learnt about how God is just, too kind, too kind to someone like me.

I can’t sleep, with an overwhelming urge to bawl after talking to SBB over the phone.

I had woken up due to a dream that reflected my reality and was worried.

I woke up with a delirious thought that I shall leave everything in God’s hands.

I know it doesn’t make sense.

I know it doesn’t make sense that I left my job after a mere 3 months.

More of taking a break so I can watch World Cup.

No, kidding.

I need to tie up loose ends of things and give myself a break to sort some stuff out.

I was in a state of fatigue this evening when a friend asked me to send him my resume. He had offered to help with some ad-hoc jobs that might ease my burden. And I don’t know why, I ended up telling him everything I should tell him, and he told me not to worry cos God will take care of everything.

I teared during the conversation.

Day 1 of the PC show, yes, I am out there whoring myself, maxing myself out for the attractive pay.

Hang in there for 4 days, I tell myself.

And a happy bomb was dropped on me today.

I wasn’t elated at all.

I was worried, in fact.

And it the very root of the very dream that woke me up at 4.45am.

I was just thinking about it the very yesterday, extensively, especially when I have stopped working, temporarily.

But what I read made me too excited to sleep.

Yes, just too excited to sleep.

I was just thinking about it yesterday, wondering my next step in life, and I didn’t expect that it would come to me so swiftly.

And yes, people, you have shared much of the turning points of my life, my agony, and witnessed much milestones on my blog.

Things that meant to me.

My failed relationship, my present complicated liaison, my baptism, my walk with Christ, and when I strayed from that path, my first blog politic, my depression, when my confidence given by people who matter made me strong enough to unmask myself to face the world, my jobs, my schooling time, or even raw, hard facts of me that might be too bare.

And more to come.

I think it has recorded much of my life, and some of you have accompanied me through it all.

And yes, I would like to share this news, that is almost making me tear.

Something I have been waiting all my life… Yes, all my life. My anguish, my disappointments, my depression, my goal, all these while.

I am 3 and half months pregnant.

On 1st June…. on the thick pile of documents, I read.

“Congratulations. Your application for permanent residence has been approved. We welcome you as part of the Singapore community and are confident that you will contribute to the progress of our nation.”

And I had thought it would be a long while(well! A few weeks are long!) due to my commitments now to the PC Show before I could do my medical checks and such.

And the dreaded wait for the reports…

When I read the prints, I realised I DO NOT have to go through the medical checkup since I had mine done just a few months ago. And I was darn tempted to take half day off the show to get my formalities done by tomorrow like first thing in the morning.

I can’t wait to hold the precious blue identity card in my hands.

Can you imagine? I am that close to what I have always wanted.

I am that close.

SBB thought I was crazy and told me to do it on Monday instead.

And as the night thunders away.. I exhale with relief what this day has taught me.

Not to sound to emotional, and yes, I do have that tear hanging desperately for dear life at the side of my eyes.

I wonder if anyone knows how much, just how much that really mean to me….