Today is the last day of my confinement, and that means I can drink plain water finally, bathe normally finally(woohoo!), though I will still be careful with cold stuff cos its not entirely good for my healing uterus and womb.verdana”>And that means, by lunar calendar, Minibean will be officially a month-old tomorrow.
And today, marks her fourth week.
Spent today frantically doing last minute clean-up for her big day tomorrow. I was so busy with different things that I didn’t do a lot of things till the eleventh hour.
I finally registered her birth on Thursday, and collected her birth certificate. It was an odd little experience as the lady at the desk told me to reconsider putting the father’s name on the birth certificate, because it would be hard to do so in the future as it would require DNA test(So CSI-ish!), and a long appealing process before it could change.
She went through how I would need the father’s presence, when I gave a forced smile and reminded her that wouldn’t this be the exact reason that left no room for consideration.
She suggested me to go back a few days later since the deadline for her registration is not yet up. I smiled at her absolute sweetness, and declined.
She went on and on about how if I were to remarried, and would like to adopt the future husband’s surname, it would have to go through the legal adoption means to do so.
I was messaging Roy on the phone as I do so, and he jokingly said maybe I could put his name down or something, simply because, it would mean citizenship for the little one.
Then, I was served a form for statutory declaration. It was the hardest part to fill in my particulars, hers, and to declare who the natural father is. Then, I have to read the oath out, and declare status of singlemotherhood.
The next staff who came to attend to me to witness the oath, was equally brilliant.
I had a lump in my throat as I read out the oath.
I finally could feel myself breathe again when I finally reached the end of the paragraph.
The document was then taken back by the immigration staff, and would not see daylight. And nope, I don’t have, and wouldn’t think I would want a copy of it.
Dad had sent me down in the rainy weather, and I was glad he waited for me in the car. Despite it was only fine drizzle, he had not wanted me to walk the mere 2 meters without covered walkway either.
He sent me home right after, as I clad her birth certificate tightly in my hands.
***
I finally headed back to work yesterday.
The birth announcement packages also arrived yesterday. I decided to add some stuff into it myself, so to make it more unique.
I managed to squeeze back into my corporate suit.
I saw 51.5kg on my weighing scales today.
Work was alright though a lot of people didn’t recognise me with the shrunken tummy.
I was told work will start next Wednesday and the urgency of it took me by surprise.
But everything was so shabbily planned that I believe the project would have lotsa hiccups in the future.
***
I went over to Playworks and dropped by to see the other guys. Whee! So nice to see them.
And then I went over to say hi to VampTreSS who was in the same building.
The booboo I made when I headed out yesterday was that I had brought everything for breast-pumping out, but I didn’t bring the electronic part of the pump!!
So stupid ah.
Eventually, I tried something I had never tried.
I sat down with a hot drink and manually milked myself as I held the milk bottle to my chest to collect it.
In my corporate wear no less.
It was hilarious, I tell you.
***
Today we put her on her tummy for the very first time, and she started lifting up her head to turn it to the other side, all by herself.
Then, before we knew it, she started squirming and pushing her neck forward.
She then used her shoulders to project herself forward, with her kicking her legs frantically, as if she was swimming on land.
She lifted her butt high into the air as she folded herself up, kicking non stop.
And then, she moved and inch.
Then, another.
And it was as if she was learning to crawl right in front of me as she moved forward a few centimeters at her time, sometimes lifting her head up and turn it to the other side.
I think before I know it, I would be chasing her boyfriends away from the door.
***
I made temporarily arrangements for her before I return to work.
The confinement lady would be with me for another couple of weeks, but she would be returning home tomorrow, and I would be seeing her again only on Tuesday.
And then, I would take care of beanie next weekend, before she returns just before I need to start work(hopefully on following Tuesday).
Minibeanie is now sitting prettily and obediently on my lap as I typed this(I even blogged with one hand as I was holding and nursing her), and she is looking on with such intelligence and sharpness in her eyes.
Maybe she can read!
Tomorrow, I would be waking up early to do the red eggs, and get ready to brave the new world.
Hopefully I got time to blog about the Christmas programs Minibean and I had this year.
And now.. on the last night of my occasional freedom.. I am sneaking out for a short rendevous by the beach.
Right after she finishes this meal.
***
I very scared I forgot to invite people I had intended to invite.
I had been sending out messages but the thing is sometimes when I sending, she would cry, and I would type in the name without pressing ‘Send’.
I was told this was what happened in the delivery room, when my contractions distracted me enough to pass the phone to VampTreSS with the message not sent.
And those who are coming, don’t buy clothes ah!!!!!!!!
I had wanted to put a list of things I need, but then ah, was busy with nitty-gritties that I forgot!
When I met up with FF over lunch one day, she had bought me a MARS bar(ahem).And remember how sweet Eveline dropped by with her self-baked cookies?
On 23rd, when we had a Christmas gathering, she bought Royce chocolate for everyone, and I chose the bitter dark chocolate.
Janise visited Minibean yesterday, and had passed me Royce white chocolate marshmellow. She had also bought some delicious, sinful cupcakes.
When I went back to office today, I was offered chocolates from the very heavily pregnant Jasmine.
I know!! It must be a set-up! It is one of their evil ploys!
Tsk tsk. Those evil one.
I bet they wanna crumble my defenses and make my post-partum weight-losing attempts(not that I have started any) an utter failure.
Evilness are they.
***
I saw 52.8kg on my weighing scales today!!
***
I left home in the heavy downpour today.
There was a company dinner I have to attend at Katong Village.
And woohoo, some stranger slowed down his car to ask if I needed a lift as I walked in the pouring rain with my pathetic, tiny brolly.
I caught a cab, and it crawled in the downpour, as it merged with the peak hour traffic.
I almost died of carsickness when it finally reached Katong 45 minutes later, setting me back by 20 bucks. Ouch.
Dinner was pleasant. Brazilian BBQ. Though it was nothing near the one we had in KL with our Italian pals. But after a while, we got pretty sick of the food.
Some pressure was piled onto me when the managers and upper management told me about certain expectations… and we all know how I nervous I can get when I have to live up to expectations.
Not only do I have to live up to expectations of being an employee, I also have the role of a mother to play. And I have to play it well.
The guys adjourned to Zouk, and I didn’t really wanna follow cos I was like so auntie-ly dressed.
Of cos, there was a little bundle of a darling waiting for me to get home.
I took a lift from Jason, who had to make a trip back to office, and I happily skipped in to the office to give Jasmine a surprise.
It’s her turn next to pop!
Jason sent me back, and the couple came up for a while to take a look at Minibean.
I didn’t even realise it was already 11.30pm!
Dad was worried that I was still out so late, and had wanted to pick me up cos it was raining out there. And poor Dad kicked himself hard after he had bought 4-D and the 2nd prize number was ABCD, instead of the ACBD that he bought.
Or else I believe Minibean would have a very big ang pow for her baby shower.
***
Yesterday, I stayed home the entire day, and it was just too rainy to head anywhere.
JD came over with her little princess in the pouring rain, and Janise reached shortly after.
Thanks babes, or else I would have a really, really boring boxing day.
And JD left her princesses’ jacket here. Janise left her sunglasses here.
What’s up man? I remember I left JD’s pressie for Minibean at her place when I had left in a delirious state.
And I remember Carol leaving her brolly behind when she visited Minibean too!
I should set up a Lost & Found counter.
***
Many many people suggested I should consider putting Minibean under my Mummy’s care cos my job has no fix timing.
I came home today feeling so dejected cos.. I don’t know.
I went to her room, and then cuddled her when I heard her whimpering for milk at 1am.
I didn’t want to put her down… and I felt a sense of loss when I had to.
When I heard the confinement lady having a toilet break just now in the midst of the telephone conversation with SBB, I went to the door, just to see how Minibean was doing simply because I know the door would be opened.
I am missing her already.
And I never thought I would feel such attachment to her.
***
张睿曈
Zhang(1) Rui(4)tong(2) aka Tongtong
Rui = to have foresight, to be able to see far and ahead. 睿智= wise, with foresight Tong is often used to describe dawn. 曈曈= The brightness when day breaks, or to describe the brightness or glint in the eyes. 曈昽= describes when the sun rises, and the sky slowly gains light to overcome its darkness.
The name came from random reading of the 1992 5th version of ‘A new Chinese dictionary’.
Some people suggested that I should let my Dad name her, then I joked from how uncreative my name is, I don’t think he could come up with anything constructive.
Few weeks ago, when Dad found out I had yet to name Minibean, he made a very kind offer to name her, possibly an idea that sprung up when he was driving.
He said, “Since she was borned in the morning, why not have the word ‘Xiao’(meaning daybreak) in her name?”
‘Say… Xiao.. fen?’
Huhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I didn’t how to react cos I thought it was 100 times worse than ‘Huiting’. I told him I would consider, cos I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, you know?
The next day, he excitedly suggested ‘Why not Xiaoshan? Maybe can have an English name, like Susan?’
I nearly flipped off the chair as I tried to stifle a pained laugh.
***
Was talking to Roy just as I was blogging this and he became the first to hear of the name.
Just then, SBB called, and then…
When SBB heard of the name Zhang Ruitong, he took 3 times before he could pronounce it as I repeated it, “Erm.. the name sounds a bit chor lor with the ‘tong’ right? I mean, I don’t know the words and the meaning, but it just don’t sound.. I mean like ‘Huiting’, at least it sounds more feminine.”
“So, what do you suggest? Do you have a better suggestion?”
“Uhm.. er… erm.. I mean I don’t know, but maybe something like Rui-er or Ruiling?”
“Which ‘er’?”
“I don’t know, what ‘er’ is there? Maybe like the ‘er’ in ‘Xiu-er’?”
So ewwwwww…
Okay, great, now I have 2nd thoughts about this name.
Bleah.
***
Actually the name was chosen for a few reasons..
Let’s talk about ‘Tong’. I chose it to replace the ‘Xiao’ suggested by my Dad, cos I know his intention of having something that represents ‘morning’ too.
I like how the same word describes the brightness in one’s eyes, cos how many times have we seen jaded, soulless eyes that came with life’s challenges? May she never loses the sparks of life in her eyes.
And how the sky gradually gets out of its darkness, and sees light. Some part of her life might be more difficult than some others, and hence, may her life slowly shed its darkness, and gain light, as she grows.
In the midst of my orientation for the baby(and how friends have been commenting ‘You look damn amateur can?’), I was dropped a bomb faster than I had expected.And that is plus.. naming Minibean, plus her long-overdued birth registration, passport… PR application.. and this Sunday’s baby full month(okay okay, I just confirmed everything like today? How last minute?! So if you haven’t gotten an invite from me, it is because I am juggling nursing/pumping/eating/messaging/planning/working in between invites) preparations.
I had wanted to blog about new career opportunities, and how I would need some time to plan..
Then, I received a call that came earlier than expected, that my company might be giving me this opportunity.
So, this Friday, I am needed back at the office. Before my confinement period is up(okay, not that it makes a difference with the way I had been going out)!
Oh dear.
Oh dear.
Oh dear.
Ahh!!!!
Don’t start asking me about post-confinement nanny plans for Minibean.
Cos it pressures me, and I have no answer.
Yet.
Just like the name.
*Gulp*
Update @5.30pm: Manager just called to remind me to dress sharply for Friday’s meeting. That means, I need to be in blazer, work skirt, and the works, looking sleep and sharp.
Then, I froze for a moment, and then told him not to forget that I am 3 weeks post-partum and I am not even sure if I can squeeze my fat ass into the above-mentioned articles.
I don’t even have time to get new ones!
I don’t dare to admit, but I am like, damn nervous, can?
What is a good electric breast pump to use? Or do you have a 2nd-hand one to let/loan?I have a bad flow of milk today as I was expressing, and then I realised what happened.
My breast pump spoilt. It doesn’t suck my milk factory well anymore(on and off), and thus, no milk comes out.
If I don’t replace it any sooner, my milk supply will dip together with the inconsistent expression of milk.
I am very the sad. This breast pump is not exactly cheap(close to 200), and I had thought of getting it despite its not-so-good reviews from fellow mums. Thank God, someone passed it to me as a hand-me-down, and I didn’t get it.
And I am very the sad it didn’t last me more than 3 weeks!
In the month of December, I only showered 4 times. *Sniff*Headed out of home 5 times, of which 3 times for checkups. *Yawn*
I eat ginger everyday, finished 3 bottles of rice wine, and almost finishing the 1-litre bottle of DOM. *hic*
Amazingly, I suppressed my fear, and ate fish.
Oh yeah, the food I so resent, and afraid of.
All started because my dad went to the market and bought huge amount of fish since I am breastfeeding. He instructed the confinement lady to ignore my protests, and cook fish for me.
I was told how fish would increase milk supply, and thus, held my breath to down the stinky soup. I ‘teyh’ a little to my confinement lady when she wanna steam the fish for dinner, and she ended up frying it, which I thought wasn’t too bad.
***
My precious had to settle for bottled infant milk yesterday for the first time cos of her increased appetite. Confinement lady didn’t want the bottled milk to go to waste, and was concerned I couldn’t keep up with Minibean’s soaring demands.
I didn’t want to appear too stubborn, and told her to give it to Minibean only to supplement breastmilk, instead of switching over, cos I still would want to be doing total breast feeding.
Honestly, I was a little dejected when Minibean settled for infant milk for the first time.
So today, my body system seems determined to make up for it, and she now has 8 meals in the fridge waiting for her.
Now I have awfully painful nipples, and understood why much people told me not to get the MiniE pump cos the suction isn’t quite good.
But I was quite puzzled why my confinement lady fed her today with the infant milk in the noon when it wasn’t necessary.
I think she doesn’t want to waste the box of infant milk which was a hand-me-down, cos they would be expiring by end of the month, and I have 32 bottles of 90ml sitting prettily in the hall, which I would most probably pour away and keep the glass bottles to store expressed breast milk in the future.
Unless.. someone wants them and can finish them within the next week.
Oh! And I realise today that not only does she has a slight dimple on her left cheek, she has another less prominent one on her right.
Her cheeks are getting rounder with her insatiable appetite, and I could hardly find her chin as it merges with her fleshy neck. Hehehe.
And she is learning to respond to people when we try to play with her. Smart lass, she is.
She was pretty afraid of the cold just last week, but this week, she is slowly finding it uncomfortable with the heat at times.
And for the first time, the confinement lady put powder on her, just to cover her sweaty smell.
Minibean is also Smellybean. Heh.
***
I snuck out for a nice cosy gathering with the girls last evening cos I had wanted to get some stuff for Minibean too. Got put on makeup somemore.
Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.
I was told to wrap up in long sleeve, so that I wouldn’t catch a chill.
I threw on a red turtle-neck long sleeved top, hopped into my old pair of jeans(hehehe!), and wore socks and my soccer shoes(must cover, cos I wore my Birkies last week, and my feet felt damn cold in the open).
I had wanted to head out early to do some shopping, but I ended up sitting next to the deep-asleep Minibean, and just stroking her, planting kisses on her forehead, and holding her little hand.
I found it hard to leave her, you know? I nearly kidnapped her with me.
It took me an hour before I finally got up and leave.
I took the train, bumped in my lower secondary classmate Jacqueline. I haven’t taken the train for a month, and then I felt a sense of loss that no one would offer seat to me anymore.
Then again, not that much people did when I was pregs anyway.
I was slightly afraid that people might find me to be smelly also.. *snigger*
I bumped into Adrianne when I was at City Hall MRT, and she asked if I was feeling cold(referring to what I was wearing), and I laughed that I had a reason for doing so.
I walked to Marina Square(hadn’t walked so much for a long while), and watching all the passing faces in the crowd, it was an oddly unfamiliar feeling. It was almost intimidating.
And it was a totally different feeling when I no longer have my penguin waddle, and I felt so much lighter. I could actually, cough, sashay!
I was the earliest to reach Spagheddies.
I met up with Wanyi, who instantly called me a bitch and another name which is the epitome of one too. She threatened to slap me also(”Can I like, slap you?” “I really feel like slapping you can?”).
Tetanus was the next to reach and I greeted him with a big hug. I hadn’t seen him in a long, long while.
It could have easily been a year.
FF joined us shortly after, before Vamp and Jer(who as usual, were late) reached.
It was a night of catching up, bitching, and updates.
It was a nice, cosy evening, with people I like.
A nice meal out was what I needed.
We stopped by Starbucks to have a drink, whereas Tet and FF went over to Balaclava for a quick beer.
Before I could join them, they returned to join us at Starbucks.
We adjourned to Que Pasa to look for JD, who had an industry function there, without telling her.
I was either mistaken to be from the industry, or a gatecrasher looking for free booze(I got the cheapskate face, laughs), when I was stopped at the entrance cos I was an unfamiliar face.
But no, thank you very much, I am contended to be struggling with my DOM every night.
I got home slightly past midnight, and immediately became a slave to the pump.
It was a night of girly love.
Oh yes, Tet is one of the girls.
***
An ex of mine just messaged me on MSN.
He asked if I would be free over the weekend.
And the next question took me by surprise.
He asked why I broke up with him 5 years ago.
Honestly, there were many contributing factors, and it just felt right to do so.
***
The more adventurous attempt of prison break happened exactly a week ago on a Wednesday, too.
Nick and Boon Boon had decided to visit me, but it was pretty late when they were dropping by, and I told them the baby was already sleeping.
So they said it was okay and they would just meet me, and perhaps go for supper or something.
I told them they could buy me supper and we could catch up, and they said since BoonBoon was driving, we might as well go out.
SOOO TEMPTING!
They let the decision making to me. And because of my constant cravings for Jalan Kayu Maggie Goreng, I suggested, obviously, Jalan Kayu.
And they also happy happy agreed to it!
And off we went, to Jalan Kayu from Jurong!
It was misty, and the night was cooling.
I wore track pants, singlet, and a jacket to fend of the cold.
It was my first night out!!!
And I had done so when my confinement lady was asleep with Minibean, and snuck out silently.
As we sat at the prata place, I was so excited over my first plate of Maggie Goreng. -Glee glee glee-
Brian also rode down to join us since he was staying nearby, and himbotically asked, ‘Eh, where is your baby?’
Hello? 1am in the morning, you know?!
Happy, happy me to be out.
Boon boon made me happy when he said I look no different from my pre-preg days. *beams silly-ly*
Nick’s prata looked so tempting that I ordered a cheese prata after my Maggie Goreng satisfy me.
He started the questions-that-don’t-make-sense once again, when he asked if I would want Minibean II in the future.
I told him how circumstances made it rather impossible, and he asked if I were to discount all factors. With a straight face, he said, say, if artificial insemination is an option(we know how crappy he can be), and jokingly offered that the guys in the group wouldn’t mind donating to me with no strings attached.
Right then, he pointed to Boon boon and made an example that I could get from him, before he nudged Brian to ask would he be a donar.
Wah, you think what? Charity huh?!
I cringed and joked what if my baby has his himbo genes?
He then suggested Jianmin… which made me cringe even more, cos he is my cousin. Ewwww.
I started off by saying how I would want a second one down the road, but I don’t think I would want any of the guys’ donation.. Cos it just seems so… hilarious.
It was damn nice to be out for a breather, watching the sky drizzle…
We started recounting our childhood days, and how our parents would used to wallop us, after Nick had asked how would I bring up Minibean in the future.
We were in stitches when Boon Boon told us how he had once locked his parents in the room to avoid being caned.
He was made hero in our hearts for that brave attempt.
Let’s hope Minibean will not learn from him.
The excessive laughing wasn’t good for my unhealed stitches, you know?
The guys listened intently to Boon as he related how he once had pure rage in him as a child when he saved up to buy this particular toy, which his mum refused to buy for him. When the mum realised he had bought it himself, she destroyed the toy that was his pride.
Boon’s expression was classic man. Muahahaha.
We spent the night thinking up weird ideas that would go into the Bible of Child Disciplinary, and we should make a movie out of our experiences when we were kids/teenager.
It was so funny that the conversation was dragged on late into the night, and words simply couldn’t capture the essence of it all.
I thought I saw my UK schoolmate.. but I wasn’t sure.
It was 4 plus when I finally got home, with my top thoroughly wet from the leaking milk(the breast pads didn’t work!).
My confinement nanny caught me in the act. She noticed the whiff of perfume when she had earlier woken up for a feed.
I could only give her a sheepish giggle…
I so look forward to prison break III.
***
She got nice eyes.
“Must have gotten them from me.”
She seems to pick things up fast and is really smart.
“Must have gotten that from me.”
She got nice chin.
“Must see who is the father what.”
Her face shape is nice.
“Ahem, thank you.”
Why, cannot be from me huh?
“Why her eyes are crossed?”
Babies eye sight not yet coordinated, so sometimes when objects are near, blarblarblar…
“Don’t bluff. Your eyes were crossed when you were a kid right?”
….. I wouldn’t know, but I am sure no!
“Must be!”
She is drooling quite a bit in her sleep.
“Hor! See lah, your fault!”
Why….? Bad things must be me huh?
“Oh, we all know how much drool you had drooled on my shoulder.”
Bleah. Uhm, no I don’t.
“Oh, you know so well you do.”
Gee, it’s 2 now, and she still refuses to sleep. She has been awake since 11, making me running in and out to the hall as I typed this post.
Nocturnal.
From who, I wonder.
I shall now go juggle some oranges, walk on stilts, pull some rabbits out of the hat, hoping she would be bored enough to fall asleep.
No.While staging my Prison Break II, it was one of those nights I desperately needed a drag or two.
People. Music. Lights. Buzz.
We sat at Starbucks, and questions, she asked.
Long gazes at the crowd away from us, long pauses to sort out the thoughts before I put them into words, I spoke.
Hollow, monotoned words.
I looked far, and away.
Of people. Hurried paces. Of music, muffled voiced. Of lights, bright and glittery. Of buzz, merry and empty. Of emotions, stifled and hidden.
I spoke. With a cynical curve of the sides of my lips at times.
I had earlier felt freed.
With skips in my steps, and I was bursting to run in the malls with ample liberation, but thought it wouldn’t do good to the sagging uterus, exhausted womb and healing stitches.
Most of all, the spontaneity would most probably suggest something about my sanity to the unknowings.
I felt nothing of such shortly after.
I needed to hear my words. Words that.. hadn’t been freed. Thoughts that are imprisoned.
Words, cut short. As the solemn pair returned.
No. I shan’t release those thoughts either.
A life sentence for them? A death sentence?
What’s the difference when life and death?
I don’t belong here. I don’t belong here.
***
I stared out as the bus cruised.
And I saw my life flashing past before me.
Of different people in my life. Of different phases in my life. Odd images of significant people who had made severe impacts in my life.
I am not sure if it has anything to do with 2 familiar faces from primary school days, and a familiar face from secondary school days did it.
Surreal.
As the merry-making continued.. my thoughts were lingering elsewhere.
Elsewhere, elsewhere.
Ha. Irony. Ironies.
***
Sidetrack a little, I received 2 emails yesterday, just before Prison Break II took place.
One, from Guangyang’s sister.
Coincidentally, his cute cuz had linked me on her blog recently to congratulate me on Minibean’s arrival.
1211. 2 years.
I know not why, but the short email broke me down.
I do miss you, Guangyang.
I would have guessed that he would be the first guy pal I would call up in the midst of my confusion for the past months.
I sat through reading the second email from a reader, feeling a flood of emotions too.
Changes.
So much. So much….
Ever heard an upbeat song that would stir you so much, perk you up so much, charge you up so much, that you just wanna breathe along with it, rock to it, spur your life on with your new-found energy?
5 minutes 20 seconds was what it took to do it’s magic.
And yet, it is tears you found amidst the new high.
Then you realised, 5 minutes and 20 seconds is way to short.
It hasn’t stopped raining since yesterday afternoon. Thank God the heavy downpour didn’t start until I stepped into the comfort of home. Someone must have watching over me.I love it.
I even retired early last night to the whispers of the rain(well.. it was more of the fatigue from having only 4 hours of sleep for Saturday and Sunday), and woke up only 4 hours later with expressing milk on my mind.
I was so lazy to get out of bed until a call came in at 2-ish and dissipated the drowsiness.
The only time the weather did disturb me a little was when I sat up from the bed after getting off the line with SBB, all ready to head to the hall, and 2 consecutive flashes blinded me in the dark, taken me by surprise with the merciless roars they brought along.
I jumped back into my bed, and my heartbeat accelerated to a new high.
It took me a while before I could calm my nerves and crawl out of the bed again, not without my baby pillow in my arms.
I cuddled my baby pillow into the hall and sat there to do my cow-ly duties.
Moo.
I crawled back under the duvet and felt the luxurious cosiness… it wasn’t too long before I dozed off, and woke up automatically at 8am.. to pump pump pump again.
Mooooooooo.
***
I still have yet to finish the previous entry I had said I would.
Despite having a help around, I realised how little time I have for myself… to even check my phone. Missed calls, missed messages. Uh oh.
I had sat in the hall yesterday to feed her, watch her pooped in her pretty girlie gear, lull her to sleep on my chest, wash up, blarblarblar… and before I knew it, another day had passed.
I didn’t even have the time to squeeze in a couple of episodes of CSI, though I had planned to do so.
***
In her 2nd week, Minibean…
.. turned to her side on her own, and slept curled up like an adult.
.. grew alert to sounds and noises, tilting her head in all directions inquisitely to search for the source.
.. grew lotsa pimples on her face cos her Mummy couldn’t resist kissing her all the time. Now, Mummy only kisses her hands, tummy, shoulders….
.. made known her dislike for cold, and love for warmth. She doesn’t enjoy aircon that much, but loves to sleep in the heat all wrapped up without fan nor aircon. She sleeps on very well despite how her lush hair would be soaked in sweat.
.. was finally carried by Grandpa one morning, making Grandpa grin excessively.
.. increased her appetite from 40ml to 60ml.
.. could hold her head up by herself, especially when we burped her(14/12).
.. made a 2-syllable sound while lying on my bed… ‘Ayeeeeee waaaa’.(12/12)
.. Spent a day alone with Mummy(16/12).
.. had her first baby massage(15/12).
Notice how much her hair has grown? This was her when she was barely 2 weeks!
Gee.
And yes, she farted halfway during the massage. So lady.
And muahahaha, I like what the massage lady said towards the end of the video. Muahaha.
***
In Week 2, there were days she would sleep throughout the day, and there weren’t much chances for me to take her pictures.
And I didn’t keep up with my original intention of taking pictures of her everyday.
But when she was awake, I did manage to capture some pretty cute pictures of her on Monday (11/12) as she struggled out of her bundle and freed one of her hands into the open.
I have no idea what was she trying to do, but I thought it was hilarious seeing her doing a series of poses as if she was dancing.
I have a feeling that she could do good in kickboxing classes.
She kept repeating the sequences, with kicks into the air as well.
Uhm.. she seems to have some potential to be a politician here.
Strong legs, she has too. I know, cos sometimes when I sat her on my thighs, she would try to launch herself away from me with her kicks.
And I tell you, it is no joke when she kicks into engorged breasts. Ouch.
In the evening, she was subdued by the blankie, and without the freedom earlier on, she gave me the puppy-eyed look which she has mastered with perfection.
I couldn’t help but tickled her neck cos she reminds me so much of a kitten..
Especially when she *Purr…*
This is the most feminine picture of her to date. Aww..
12/12 - Auntie Lisha dropped by to coo over the little one.
Look how she was disfigured by her Mummy… baby acne!
Auntie Lisha also gave Mummy a nice massage as she lazed in bed, refusing to move.
And Mummy is glad to have clear up misunderstandings in the air and mend the awesome friendship they once shared.
14/12
She started to get curious over everything, though she still gave me the standard puzzled frown whenever I try to talk to her.
This lass will grow up to have lotsa attitude.
Tsk tsk. Jia lut for me.
‘Kua simi?’
I think she just loves to sleep in this position. Taken on the 15/12.
***
On Sunday, Zhengming and Xiuzhao came by with Lin Li and boyfriend, with Christmas pressie for Minibean(thank you darlings)!
Xiuzhao became Mrs Zhengming on the 8th!
I.AM.LIKE.SO.HAPPY.FOR.THEM.CAN?
I mean, cough, let me claim some credit here.
If not because I had wanted to bake cookies(that were rock hard and my friends nearly claimed dental fees for dental damages) and cook for my friends on a particular day 7 years ago….. they wouldn’t have met.. and if they didn’t meet…. then then then..
See! I am half a match-maker alright?
Congrats, my dears.
They are the nicest people, most down-to-earth pals one could ever get. I am glad I met such beautiful people in my life, and they deserve each other in every way. They have came a long way, and I wish them eternal bliss.
We sat in the hall and brainstormed for Minibean’s Chinese name, and I think the couple nearly died from my fussiness. Laughs.
Minibean tried searching for milk when Zhengming carried her. Muahaha.
Yeah.. she is constantly hungry.
***
I just realised it is already the 19th. I have yet to think of her Chinese name. Not yet register her birth cert at ICA.
Not yet apply for her Malaysia passport at Malaysia Embassy, which would require the above.
Not yet apply for her PR back at ICA, which would require the passport.
Blarblarblar. Basically, I have to do the running myself during confinement cos some issues of the registration I can only settle by myself. I couldn’t be possibly authorising my dad to do the running for me, and put him through those awkward questions, eh?
And oh, did I mention how I have yet to start on the full month celebration planning…?
And the date has been fixed!
The 31st December(going by lunar calendar, her lunar full month falls on this day. Somemore can countdown!) or the 1st January(since going by calendar, her full month should be on the 2nd, and it could be earlier too since it is a holiday the next day, and signifies a new start).
So, 31st or 1st?
Wah.. shit. Only 11 days to make arrangements.
Ahh.. I really no like making decisions myself, you know.
***
Everyday, there are new things I learn about her.
Everyday, her features are making tiny changes.
Like today, I noticed how her once-defined chin is slowly merging together with her neck.
Her appetite has grown so much by Week 3, and I could hardly keep up with her demand for milk.
And I think.. that’s a double chin I am seeing. Heh.
I was sitting in the hall yesterday when I was playing with her, I held her close to my chest, and she slowly drifted off to sleep in the security of my arms.
She had earlier refused to sleep, and when I held her to my chest, she ended up tilting her head up, searching for my face.
And she would fixate her sight on me for the longest time, with her neck held up in an awkward angle.
I would just stare at her and talk to her, and she would give the occasional smile.
My confinement lady was telling me how she is growing to be really strong, eating much more than other babies she had cared for, and how she is showing her sharp mind with her responses to adults.
Though she still has this habit of tilting her head to the sides when carried by adults to find sources for milk.
And finally, she fell asleep amidst the heavy storm..
Right then, Eveline dropped by in the heavy shower with her self-baked cookies.
She was all drenched when she arrived at my doorstep, and I felt terrible x 10 for that.
She had ‘forewarned’ me that the cookies weren’t that nice.
I finished half tub of it right after she left. Even my confinement lady commented that her cookies are very nice. The soft texture, and they weren’t overly sweet. Yummy!
I forsee the cookies being emptied out by this evening.
Thank you dear.. reminds me of the Chinese saying.. ‘Xue Zhong Song Tan’.. Hmm, ‘Yu Zhong Song Bing’?
Next time I bake cookies for you also.. *cough* that is if you don’t my history of cookies-gone-awfully-wrong.
***
I brought Minibean out on my own yesterday!
No sling, no pram. No confinement lady. Basically it was raining earlier, and the floor was wet, and I didn’t want to fuss over a pram if it happened to rain.
As for sling.. I haven’t gotten any, so I made do without one.
She was bathed and dressed prettily for the 1st time since her birth, wearing a nice, princessy garment from Eileen.
I put on nice bright pink socks for her, and she looked a pretty sight.
I carried her to my gynaecologist’s appointment in the neighbourhood, but I didn’t expect that I would stay out for 4 hours, with her in my arms most of the time.
I took a bus to Jurong East Central, climbed the overheard bridge for the first time in a long while.
As I popped into the clinic, I greeted the faces I have grown to like over the months.
They were also the people who had helped me through, and gave me encouragements every few weeks when I go for check ups. The nurses, the receptionists.
As usual, they were brilliant.
They cooed over Minibean, intrigued by her hair as usual, and were bemused by my quick drop of weight(yay!).
It was a pretty long wait, and a Chinese couple, with the lady’s mother, came in.
The heavily pregnant lady was so excited when she saw Minibean and started striking up a conversation.
She was really cute and when I came out of the consultation room, she asked what did the doctor say(I told her it was just a wound checkup and she thought it was the baby!) .. before her husband reminded her the baby goes to a paediatrician. She giggled at her cluelessness, and was really nice.
The mum had flew in to take care of her only daughter, who is carrying a boy. She then commented baby has my chin and jawline. Ahem. I am not sure if that’s true though.
They were pretty eager for her to see the ultrasound of the baby.. and I thought it was.. sweet that they could share the moment of seeing the baby sucking his fingers, kicking around, yawning, or sticking his tongue out in the womb.
Shit. Typing this actually brings tears to my eyes.
***
When I went in for my check up, there was a new nurse and a couple of nurses whom I already acquainted with. Normally there was only one nurse but then there were 3 this time round.
And this nurse whom I already gotten acquainted with came in to offer her help to carry Minibean.
Then, I was told to remove my undies for the checkup.
The new nurse then asked beyond the curtains.. ‘do you need any help?’
I was like speechless for a while.. I mean, uhm, you want to help me take of my undies? Hehe, so kinky.
The rest were then playing with the sound asleep Minibean whilst I took a while to take off my undies and climb onto the bed(this sounds so wrong).
The most dreadful part came….
Dr Chua needed to check the stitches, and as usual, I was darn coy.
‘You have to open your legs or else I can’t see anything you know?’
‘I shy.. I scared. Hmm, this sounds like the exact same thing you said to me in the delivery room!’
Oh yes, I was even shy in the delivery room.
Eventually, I took a while and some ‘ah.. ah.. ahs’(not that it was painful, but you know, the anticipation was just scary) before she said ‘hmm, the stitches healed very nicely on the outside, I need to check the inside.’
And for the first time since the birth of Minibean, I was poked.
No infection, no nothing. Yay.
But wearing pads for almost 3 weeks already is no fun.
I went off after chatting a little to the ladies at the reception table, carrying Minibean with me to do some grocery shopping for some stuff that are running out at home.
I messaged FF for lunch, and it was only when she knew baby was with me before she agreed to meet me. Hmphf. Boohoo.
I had some time on hands before she reached, and I checked out the book fair at the heart of Jurong Entertainment Centre. I ended up buying 3 books for 10 bucks, all of authors I like, and 2 of them are hard-covered books somemore.
I spent 20 minutes standing there with Minibean in one hand, and another reaching out for the books and reading the summary.
I almost contemplated(I don’t actually MEAN it) to put her on the pile of books while I sift through the pile.
Eventually, I sat at McDee’s waiting for FF with tired arms.
And she gave a demure smile in her sleep!
After lunch, I grabbed a cab home, and she had actually slept throughout her day out with Mummy!
The sky darkened and it suddenly stormed big time after I reached home. Gee. God is kind to me.
She had her lunch and when we pulled out her diapers to change to a new one… she pooped!
And, she pooped onto her new clothes, staining them yellow.
When she was being changed, she kept turning her head back to give me the innocent looks…
Tsk.
So we had to change her again.
Into something blue.
How cheeky.
Eh! Why a bit cross-eyed one?
And tsk, those spots are still stubbornly lingering on her face.
***
Hmm, the long post that I had said I would finish, is still yet to be finished.
I guess.. I will take quite some time. Heh.
Today, I saw how strong her little legs are.
She kicked away the pillow that were covering her legs, then the blanket.
And as she kicked those things away, she had launched herself further up, and she was originally lying in the centre of the sofa, and before we knew it, she was moving up and her head touched the sides of the sofa.
And then… before we knew it, she was stretching, moving, kicking around in her sleep, and we found her to be in another position - 90 degrees to her original position. She managed to move 90 degrees clockwise on the cushion!
…. Seeing 53.3 on the weighing scales.…. Seeing 25 and half 26 on measuring tape.
…. I jumped into my old pair of sized 26 Levi’s supersuper low jeans which I used to wear every week with utter ease. No jumping, no rolling around in bed just to button it up.
WOOOHOOO. I am happy. I have not even started on any exercising routine nor go on any diet yet!
I got de-invited to my X-th event today, due to certain superstition of the older folks. This month I missed out quite a bit of events, and had thought I would bring Minibean out for a breather. But seems like I would be relaxing at home and brainstorming for her Chinese name.
But it’s still a happy event for Everett today! And I hope the rest would have lotsa fun!
And because I had expected to head out today, I had told my confinement lady that she could have the day off. Despite the last minute change of plans, I told her to go ahead and enjoy her day out with her daughter, whilst I would take care of Minibean.
Gee, I am nervous. It would be a day of hands-on for me. I just figured out how to use the warmer, as well as the steriliser. I managed to handle her first crying-for-milk tantrum pretty alright.
And I am doubly nervous since it’s a stormy day. I was on the phone with SBB when a scary-as-hell thunder made me yelp.
How to protect her like that?
And, Minibean no like air-con, yet I perspire non-stop in the hall, so I would have to bring her into my room, which would make her grouchy.
Carol and boyfriend dropped by for a visit today with lotsa goodies in tow. She even gotten me a toothbrush because I had blogged about bleeding gums some time back.
She handled Minibean with lotsa composure when she was crying while I warmed her milk.
She is also my life saver cos she actually gotten me nursing pads, which I was running out of cos I have been leaking once too often!
Thank you my dears.
Oh, Minibean’s hair is growing so fast that she looks hilarious without a haircut!
I have been blogging. Honest.Just that my next post is of such mammoth length that I have yet to complete it.
And it doesn’t help that I sleep only 5-6 hours a night, and would fall into a deep nap by late afternoon.
I am constantly tired, and while blogging my uber lengthy next entry, I had to stop twice to pump milk, stop twice to feed Minibean, stop once to have a massage, and stop twice for meals(breakfast and lunch).
And then, once for the much needed nap.
My past 2 weeks have been of the same routine.
Wake up. Check on Minibean. Pump milk. On the phone. Lie down to rest(sitting up for long hours are not advisable). Watch boring television programs. Getting irritated by my Mom. That’s another story all together, and it made me a very, very unpleasant person last night after a call with her.
I think it is ridiculous when I told her I don’t see why I should lie about my status when I don’t care, and don’t mind the gossips.
She said, ‘You are the only one who doesn’t mind what.’
I said my friends around me don’t mind either, and that’s all that matters.
She went on to say how my friends are of different generation, so it’s different.
So, eventually, bottomline is, ‘you are the only one who doesn’t mind’, also means = she is the only one who minds.
Duh.
So, I told her, I would only be too happy not to turn up for family gatherings in the future, since all the stifling events weren’t my cup of tea to begin with.
She sheepishly, incoherantly said something along the line that I don’t have to do that, and all I have to do is to tell them is I am already registered and married…
HAHAHA.
So funny.
Now I have to live a lie for the rest of my life, and lie to family?
Madness.
So, do I have to dream up of a scenerio, think of more lies to cover the one lie, so that for the next 10 years or next 20 years when the supposed ‘husband’ doesn’t turn up for reunions, I have some crap excuse to explain his absence?
Like, how he is an astronaut who is heading for Mars, and he would be too busy to make an appearance?
I can’t begin to describe how absurd her suggestion is, and it was beyond reasonableness to me.
And she had been asking me if the confinement lady asked me any questions, simply because she is afraid I might giveaway that she is actually my Mom, cos she had told the confinement lady she is my relative.
Hurhurhur.
Oh well.
I told her she might as well disown me.
As much as I am peeved, I don’t deny she has been relatively brilliant to Minibean.
She had offered to buy an anklet for Minibean, and been asking me to bring Minibean back once her PR application/Passport and stuff are done.
She calls everyday to ask about Minibean, yet at the same time, pissing me no end with THAT same old issue again.
***
Nothing exciting for the past 2 weeks, except for… Wednesday night, when I did something really naughty.. that involved 3 men, and could potentially split my stitches….
… From the excessive laughing that is.
And 10 days after delivery, I finally had my first shower with herbal water.
It was heavenly, okay!
And I managed to shower for the 2nd time yesterday(alternate days), and I no longer smell one kind of funky.
And now, I have Tetanus telling me that he chanced upon a talent file with my casting pictures in it.
Back in 2004.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. KILL ME. JUST KILL ME.
Burn the evidence!
I cringe endlessly, thinking of a friend could potentially(or already had) view those horrid castings.
Another reason why I hadn’t been blogging, is because I am high on DOM every night.
I would concuss before I could even switch off my lights once I return from the hall after downing one and half shot of DOM.
Nobody ever told me DOM is of 70 proof.
And I shall not mention how I had giggled and lagged 2 seconds in speech for 2 nights on the phone with SBB after downing DOM.
Hello all! It’s me-the-one-still-without-a-name again!I am still stuck with Minibean for a while. But she seems to be getting near to a decision despite protests from different people(hmmm, there will bound to be people who would like the name, and some, who don’t).
Mummy is very happy today, so she decided she would edit some pictures so the world could finally see more of me(it’s about time!).
But she couldn’t finish editing all, you see. So you can anticipate flood of pictures that would follow in later days.
I doubt your computer can load all of the estimated 600 pictures of yours truly. -Grin-
Mummy had caught up with much rest for the past couple of days, and she could finally heave a sigh of relief after my checkup on Friday didn’t require me to stay in the hospital and be apart from her.
She is constantly in a state of mess, leaking like no tomorrow with her abundant milk flow(Granny even commented to her, ‘You so small, got so much milk meh?’), and engorgement had caused her much discomfort. Even her wound at you-know-where seems to be giving her more discomfort than the first few days.
I am not going to start on how she smells like after not bathing since 1st December!
She was thrilled today when she hopped onto the weighing scales and saw the figures 54.5kg smiling back at her.
But she shouldn’t be too thrilled cos she has quite a tummy to trim(another 3 inches from today’s 27.5 inches, she hopes) and tone. I am going to do something naughty - to let you guys have a peep(as requested). I hope she won’t be too mad when she finds out though!
So, how does the tummy that house me for 9 months look like after I burrowed my way out?
If you think tummy will shrink back to its original size right after the space is cleared, think again! I mean, it takes 9 months to stretch those skins, retain those water, and pile on the pounds, and that’s why some people never do lose it. Mummy is scared she will never lose it, I know.
Not for the faint-hearted! This was how her tummy looks like an hour after my arrival:
Ewwwww….
Today, this is how her tummy looks like:
One round ball of flab.
Enough of her!
This post should be about me! And just me!
***
As I was saying…
Mummy’s hand shook while she took this picture(I was asleep actually.. Mummy likes lying next to me just to watch me sleep), and you could faintly see my double eye-lids!
I can’t believe it has been a week.
Everyday is a learning process, and today, after I kicked my blanket away when I was sleeping in the hall, Auntie Jessie(my confinement nanny) put a small pillow over my legs to keep me warm.
I practised my little kicks, and I managed to kick the pillow from its position and aired my legs in the open again. I am one strong little girl.
I was moving a lot in my sleep as well. Eventually, I could even turn to my sides on my own when they don’t wrap me up like a mummy like how you would see it in most pictures! I kept arching my head backwards when I was deep in my sleep to stretch, forming a U-shape. Mummy thought I was going to complete the routine with some acrobatic moves that would see my feet touching the back of my head.
I think Mummy is proud of how fast I am growing everyday.
*** Day 1…..
I woke up to see so many people fussing around me.
Many, many pretty aunties dropped by to catch a glimpse of me, many of whom brought gifts for me and Mummy.
Mummy says I must remember their kindness, and so, I wanna thank…. *breathe in*
Auntie VampTreSS, who documented my birth with 500 pictures! And for stroking Mummy’s hair when Mummy was writhing in pain. She didn’t get to enjoy the leather couch-bed she so adored sleep for the entire night on Friday, and she even stayed over on the 2nd night of our stay in the hospital so that we have some company.
She was looking like a zombie for the sacrifice she made for Mummy and Minibean.
Auntie FF who was the first to drop by after Auntie VampTreSS gave her a blow-by-blow account of my grand arrival.
She was the first person I saw when Mummy was wheeled out of the delivery ward to her bed.
Auntie Christy dropped by with Baby Everett but I was in the nursery going through checks, and didn’t see them. Sadly, I won’t be able to enjoy the Birds’ nest their family bought for Mummy since I am no longer sharing Mummy’s food.
Grandpa dropped by for a while before he rushed off. I think he adores me.
Auntie Wanyi got herself acquainted with me shortly after, and took the first pictures of me away from the delivery ward.
Pictures of me, that were subsequently sent to, cough, Uncle SBB, and he agreed I look cough, a little like him.
Then, they said, I am a cam-whore like Mummy.
Oh that’s Mummy when she was a new-born.
I am not sure why, but I am sure you can find an explanation somewhere… along the way:
I just finished feeding and was lying on Mummy’s chest when Auntie Wanyi decided to be my photographer.
Aunties decided I look more like Papa, and the only resemblance to Mummy.. were…
My fingers. Mummy is very the sad.
I buried my head into Mummy’s instinctively when disturbed.
I was already sucking my thumb on the very first day when I wasn’t trying to lick and taste the blanket swaddling me. How smart was I?
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