As usual, the adrenalin kept me awake and I didn’t sleep at all.
I was up all the way until 7 plus, when Brian, who had a sleepness night as well, came over to pick me up for breakfast.
I think we all always have post-event anxiety.
Problem is that this event is going on for 3 weeks! Die.
Everything supposedly went well as planned, only until the rather soft-spoken guy of the group had slight complaints from the client, possibly for being too quiet. Reviews from the other part-timers were that he was indeed trying(one of the part-timers was saying that to be fair, it was just to be seen at the right moment, at the right time) and hardworking and a few times we wanted to speak to him, he was attending to customers. Perhaps his meek exterior wasn’t to his advantage.
For the way he pulled up his socks and putting in conscious effort, we managed to get the client to give him a fighting chance.
As always, in the people business, changes are inevitable. Just like how our team player’s Dad had an heart attack just last Friday, and had informed us just that his Dad is admitted to ICU. Knowing how he had wanted to work harder for the dough especially the more he needs money now, I feel quite bad he has to pull out due to circumstances.
It reminded me of the days when my Dad was all hooked up, and it was the worst feeling in the world.
Get well soon.
***
Brilliant. Just brilliant. I fell asleep at 7 plus, close to 8 in the evening.
By the time I woke up, it was already 4am.
So.. my body clock is officially screwed, and now, I am sustained by the adrenalin again. Dammit.
I don’t like such hyperactivity!
It was darn funny today when I bumped into the Singtel roadshow manager, and she was someone I once did an event before, the ever lovely Felicia. I remember having the best times at an event with her(other than Cindy).
Then when I was talking to Wenmei who came down to the booth, I bumped into Ryan… who met Wenmei before, and then with Ryan was Bernard, whom I worked for before since he is from Logitech, and that he was coincidentally my neighbour(speaking of which, Ryan is like my ‘neighbour’ too since he stays just across the street!) in the estate.
Then I bumped into Roland.
!!!!!! The whole world is in NUS!
And everyone knows everyone!
Roy came down and then Bernard was talking to him and then referred to someone from Roy’s shop as XXX’s wife… XXX is Roy’s brother-in-law(the wife is Roy’s sister. Heh).
And then when introduced to the booth people by Roland.. oh the company is actually the brother-in-law’s company and silly Roy didn’t know.
And the whole is once again, so freaking damn small. Too small they were saying.
Eventually we had lunch at Holland Village, where Brian left behind his folder, and I very smartly pass to Roy to hide it in his bag(my bag he sure suspects).
Brian didn’t realise until he reached back NUS, and he was so exasperated that he decided to ride back to Holland Village in the hot afternoon sun. Roy had wanted to make him ride back but.. but.. but.. hehehehe.. I was nice and called him back.
Sometimes I am just TOO nice to that bugger.
Lunch was kinda fun. I like people in the industry with no airs and are just so easy to get along.
It was frantic after lunch though and finally the day ended.
Brian nicely sent me home(from all the niceness, I do deserve a bit more, huh!) in the peak hour traffic and I just… got so sloshed from the day.
And it is no good that I am sneezing non-stop right now.
And if you think that’s all, the most attractive part is… they have free finger food!
Okay, that was a bit off, but you know how food appeals to me. Heh.
On top of that, display your creative patriotic fashion sense with regards to the National Day and you stand the chance to walk away with an attractive prize! Maybe you should just turn you with nothing but 5 stars and a crescent and like that sure win one! 2 stars and a crescent would perhaps do the job but… ah well!
Goody bags will be given out to those who turned up, so what are you waiting for?
All you have to do is to write a post on what you would do for free tickets, and post it up on your blog.
Well.. you know, some people would even kill for the slightest things, so if you say you would… I will inform the police.
What would I do, you ask?
But ai yah, it’s National Day so it would likely be Minibean day. I will sell Minibean for the free tickets then. But since tickets are free, I wouldn’t have to sell her, do I?
If I am a girl, I would have you know, pose in corset, boots, fishnets, garters and all(sigh.. the things people do for free stuff) and flood Ming’s email with them.
If I am a guy, I would bring the girl I love to the movie just to propose(free tickets, save money somemore!) so if I don’t get my tickets, I would then blame Ming for destroying my life happiness.
But then I would be engaged on that day so I wouldn’t be fighting over for the pair of tickets. So Ming needs not worry about spam emails coming from me. Hohoho.
So what are you waiting for? Start writing now and get the pair of tickets(FREE!!!! Yay!).
But after reading some comments from Maia Lee’s star blog, I saw some of the comments and decided to snoop out Sammyboy forum.
Woohoo.
So many cans of worms.
I have fun looking through comments that say I am a SPG. And that I am just you know, having the baby just to leech off the presumably ang moh father.
And then and then, they go on saying how I am pushed by the miracle of money… so that you know I could leech off the father’s wealth(they also say how SPG Scarlet is stupid cos ang moh just wanna fuck and go and they are not as decent as local boys as SPG Scarlet assumes they are).
And then and then I am nicknamed Madame Butterfly. *Giggles*
Okay.. so uhm.. I am cheap. Uh huh.. so.. I am.. uh… a skank *chuckles*
Okay. I think I might have made a wrong move to say whatever I say on television. Yes I did say he is of a comfortable background.
Quite honestly, if to put it side by side, I am of quite a comfortable background, too, no?
And I said it not with regards to him.
He? He is just starting out with his career and, he doesn’t, ever, spend on me.
My reference was taken wrongly cos when I had said that he was of comfortable background, was more of reference to that he might be slightly more of self-centred, and couldn’t-care-less attitude.
What occurred to me was… hmm, if children from single-parent family would turn out to be screwed up because they are deprived of love, then I seriously wonder, with their utter abhorrence and despise, it is unlikely they are from single-parented family, no?
I mean, if they were that “cultured”, angry, uncouthed, narrow-minded and the total hilarity of their assumptions…. and if that is what BOTH their parents had brought them up to be, if one day, I mean IF, Minibean turns out to be like this, then I will know it is of no fault of the fact that she is of single-parented family.
Apparently double the love, doesn’t quite equate to double the acceptance and understanding… heh.
But it will be good news for the new NUS students, as NUS will be having their Matriculation Fair from Monday onwards to the 8th(30th July - 2 August Orientation. 3rd August to 8th August Open House).
The original plans for the roadshow were changed, but still, we would be involved, and will be there to do on-site monitoring on and off.
What is the most attractive of all, is the promotion Toshiba is offering the students and staff.
The spanking new R500-E260.
What so impressive about it, you ask?
I was in the shops just a week ago, checking out the lappies, when I saw it and fell in love with it. I was struck with absolute horror at the price tag - a hefty $4599.
When I attended the training last Friday, I finally realised the price tag is fully justified for.
It is the world’s slimmest and lightest laptop. Without the battery, it weighs only 799g! With built in ultra slim DVD drive!
Compared to the x61 I had earlier wanted to get(the x61 is tempting, but knowing how low the price it could go to, forking out that sum is comparatively not worth it anymore), it is almost a kg lighter even if it is packed with a battery! Like the x61, it comes with 3 years international warranty as well.
The sleek exterior is a main drawing point, since I am quite a ‘judge-the-cover’ person. The transreflective LCD display means that you do not have to strain your eyes to make out what’s on your laptop when in the sun, and that you have more privacy(no need for expensive screen protector!).
I watched the video, and the extensive and intensive drop test and spillage test they did on the laptop awed me too. I so clumsy, you know? So if I spill drinks on my keypad, it could actually shut down normally, and not short itself out. Whee! Or if I accidentally drop my poor lappy… it could survive my abuse.
The NUS promotion not only offers the student a free clip-on webcam, 2GB memory flash, but also Garskin notebook skin.
But of course, the 4599 price tag is a tad scary there eh?
But I came up with a plan to seduce some fresh young NUS dudes who could help me get it with the student price!
The R500 is going at $2787, exclusively for tertiary students and staff.
It’s like, how cool is that?
Dammit! I am not a student, or else I would get it man. The rates are reeeeaaaaallllyyy attractive.
So anyone wanna contribute to my laptop fund? Or is willingly offering to get it on my behalf with student rates?
I shall just drool over it… sigh.
And if anyone of you find it irresistibly tempting.. get your siblings to get one of those mean machines for ya! It is a great steal that shouldn’t be missed. So should you head down to NUS.. do look for the young promoters there and they would gladly be helping you.
I want a laptop! I want a laptop! I want a laptop! I want a laptop! I WAAAANNNNNNT!
Sigh… having insomnia just before a long day, is so NOT fun.
She is now back in Negeri Sembilan, together with my Mum who decided to make the trip back together with my auntie and uncle(and the youngest cousin) since it’s her eldest brother’s birthday and a grand celebration is thrown by his 10 children.
I encouraged Mum to go back with Minibean since I would really want her to know her family, extended ones, too.
Sooooo… the 2 of them woke up early this morning and baby was so excited that she didn’t even want to sleep in the car even though it was 5.30 in the morning when she heard sounds and greeted my dad with a grin.
Tsk. How could my mum not even ring back when I have no way of contacting her? I am slightly annoyed.
***
It’s the time of the year again.
And gee, it has been a year since my contracted date to my insurance company.
Wheeeeeee! It’s weekend finally. I dozed off in the midst of couch potato-ing last night, and what followed was 16 hours of absolute K-O.
I was that tired.
In fact I was so tired that when it reached evening time, my mind wasn’t registering nor remembering anything, though my social self was still on full-blast(cos I had to, you see?).
***
Thursday started with me meeting up with Brian at Sim Lim, and it was a series of work-related discussion, before we met up with our supplier at 8pm.
During the meeting….
….. Messages and calls came in.
Anyone you can imagine. Colleagues from my teaching days(7 years ago!), primary school classmate, ex-schoolmate, clubbing kaki, my boss, my insurance agent, even Roy’s mother called him!
Oh even my grandma, who sleeps at 8pm everyday, was channel surfing just before she slept, and saw me too, together with my aunties.
Mum called and expressed slight displeasure, telling me never to do it again, and implied it doesn’t look good on the face. I simply couldn’t be bothered. Though she did say baby saw Mummy and Minibean was giggling as she saw me.
My confinement nanny called too.
Roy and I headed to KAP to meet up with the rest, and it was there when he told me he was there at West Coast Park on Tuesday too!
Gee, at the same time we were there, and at the right side of the park as well. And we even saw the same people there.
Coooooool.
He was THAT close to finally meeting SBB in the flesh!
I didn’t stay for long cos my curiosity really got the better of me, and I rushed home before midnight to watch the repeat telecast of the program.
***
Oh, over late lunch with Brian, he was having his dessert, when I played with his… sperm, and then, I swallowed his sperm!
Cough.
I am not sure what it is, but it is reeeaaaaallllyyy cute, and has a long tail to it.
And it was slightly hard.
So cute.
OK, gee, that was soooo totally random.
***
When I first received the call from the research writer, it was the day when Minibean was actually with me in Singapore.
She had just dozed off in the cot, and I was looking at her when the call came in.
She spoke to her producer and called me back within 5 minutes to confirm with me they would like me to go on the program, and it would be the day after I return from Bintan.
Like I had said, I was apprehensive…
Then again, as always, I just block out all external factors, and went on nonetheless.
That was the day at Tiong Bahru.
After the program, the producer came up to me, and her gesture struck me as very heart-warming though I didn’t have the chance to talk to her thereafter since she was very busy.
She came up and held my hand tightly.
Some stranger, an old uncle was walking past, and gave me the thumbs-up. I have always liked Shengjiang since I started watching this program for his quaint sense of humour. He wished me good luck just before he left. And it was as if the ‘good luck’ was weighed heavily with thoughts. Thank you.
My idol from 10 years ago was too busy, and I didn’t really dare to go up to him to ask for a picture taken. Just as the recording was cut for a break, he looked at me, and said regarding about the emotional dependency issue I raised.
I nodded, and smiled. And I could sense that it was a very genuine, sentimental comment. Thank you, too.
Hmm… and my long-time heroine, Yifeng:
What struck me most was her empathy and sensitive nature. She asked me things which I could only laugh it off cos it was too close to heart. But as a mother, she even spoke up when someone asked me(after the recording was over) wouldn’t I be angry if I see baby everyday and that baby will remind me of SBB. She said to her, “孩子生下来就是自己的，没有一个妈妈会后悔的。”
She even asked me if I was afraid when the program is aired that it might be “大好大坏” . Thankfully, everything has been positive so far.
She was even concerned how SBB’s family might recognise me, which I assured her wasn’t much of an issue.
Eventually, she did say something to the extent that what was said on a program for entertaining purposes, she knows how every story is not of absolute, and the stories behind are always far more complex than what people see, and whatever it was, she knows how it wasn’t easy, and people might not understand.
It was great meeting all these people.
And not forgetting, the person who brought forth the chance, the very sweet Jace, who gave this neurotic bitch here so much assurance through SMS thereafter.
Thank you babe. I will try to send you the picture soon since I just uploaded it. Heh.
My sole supporters, who calmed my nerves
***
Truth to be told, I hated the sight of myself on television. It was so cringeworthy that it was bad.
Honestly, it wasn’t bad, and the people weren’t nasty. Some people thought I had it hard, but it really wasn’t. I even liked the girl Jiahui whom everyone thought was anal.
***
Nonetheless watching the program had me shaking throughout.
I only managed to have an hour or 2 of sleep before I woke up early the next morning to head for a meeting.
It was drizzling and I had a bad experience with a cab driver who took 10 to fifteen minutes to reach the location 1km away.
And it took me 20 bucks when I think it would have taken me around 14 or 15.
He refused to take out the streetdirectory when he was going round and round.
It was a kilometer from Boon Keng MRT, yet he turned to Kallang Place instead of Kallang sector, then went up a short distance of expressway, turned out from Kallang MRT, then went through Geylang. I told him he was going through the wrong road, and asked him for road directory, and he refused. BUGGER!!!
Then, he went through Aljunied, Eunos, before we finally reached Kallang Sector.
He didn’t even offer to take lesser charge when I went “HUH!!” when he told me it was 20 bucks.
I took a receipt and I told myself I would lodge a complaint.
But as usual, the nincompoop here is too much of a wuss.
I told Mr Brian Lee I would claim the cab fare instead. Arghhh.
After the meeting, we rushed to Orchard in the rain, had Pepper Lunch with Wenmei. I miss the taste, somehow.
The next meeting that followed was postponed and had the location changed.
Let’s just say I wasn’t looking forward to that. The traffic was horrendous and the rain was getting heavier.
And the rider of the bike was roaring with absolute frustration. It was almost like a bark. It was scary.
It dragged and took a while before I rushed down to Meiling’s salon where I promised her I would let her do my hair.
Dad picked me up and we headed for a Gala dinner at Shangri La.
I always like to make Dad happy because I know that would be what he would truly like. Me to be a part of what he is doing, and share his efforts and passion to do go to the society. I would like to be part of it, if I can minus all the PR work, really.
The MP was very nice though, and I see the efforts they contributed to bring the community together.
It was nice, though Dad stopped me from eating most of the dishes cos of the seafood in them.
IT WAS A LONG DRAGGG.. before the event was finally over for me.
I got very hungry. I left the dinner in birkies and dinner dress. How atrocious.
So hungry that after that I went to have supper at the hawker center with Nick, Meiling, Roy, Brian and Mindy before I made my way home finally. I could hardly stay awake and stay out.
Fattening, lardy char kuey teow, oyster omelet, and hokkien mee are like, so incredibly delicious.
I stuffed them down despite them being seafood.
Good news?
Hohoho, I am still hives free today.
Though one day I shall have revenge on the guys on how they tried to wake me up.
These couple of days feel kinda strange. They are simply, strange.
I feel… too much positivity. So much that it makes me feel jittery. So much that I started tearing my nails nervously throughout the day. I am left nail-less again.
Problem with people like me is, we don’t believe in positive stuff anymore. Once we start to do so, the fear of the world comes crashing down starts to seep in, and before you know it, it engulfs you completely.
It is… just, different.
***
Sometimes I see things, but I just choose to bury to the very deep end.
I pretend. It doesn’t mean I don’t notice, and that I don’t know.
***
I felt a great sense of accomplishment.
I slept less for the past 2 days, and the adrenalin keeps me awake… and it still is sustaining me now.
I was packed to the brim with work schedule, but amidst it all, I still had time for family(Dad and Mum), the all important Minibean, friends(a quick get-together), checked out an office space, Ghost Whisperer AND CSI: New York, a little shopping for the home and Minibean, and added a tinge of romance to it all.
It has been fulfilling. And I haven’t felt this way in a long while.
It just feels… different.
Sometimes putting a little bit more trust in myself, could go a long way.
Only is, I need to start believing. Believing that the world won’t come crashing down on me.
***
I jokingly told Roy and Brian, who were both engrossed with their own priorities in life(Grrrr…. even my work calls were like in no way superior!!), that I wanted to go on a strike.
It was early in the day, but instead of doing so, I didn’t manage to stop all the way till pretty late.
I will never get what I wish for, isn’t it?
I feel pretty alright, actually.
***
I fell asleep during an episode of CSI: New York. I tried to quit waiting by having a little me-time.
And when he finally turned up, it was a quiet, relaxing and enjoyable night ahead.
My little silly surprise that brought on so much giggles worked out pretty fine… though it made the wait to the end of the night a little too long.
We had nice little chat on the bench at my lobby, with the canned drinks bought from the vending machine(the root of all evils!). The breeze was nice.
Despite my initial hunger, I ended up not having much appetite. That brought us round and round the place we initially wanted to go for food - Fong Seng.
We ended up at a place I adore, Kent Ridge Park.
I saw ‘giraffes’ there. I want to bring Minibean there next time. Mum used to tell me those cranes at the port are giraffes. Yellow, long neck, four-legged.
It was a part of my childhood, and I always feel warm and fuzzy when I see them… cos it was one of the few better memories Mum left me with.
We sat around, took pictures, giggled, strolled a little, cuddled, kissed, and flirted.
“I like this place. The quietness of it.”
And I like how the place always never fails to make me feel starry-eyed with the lights. I like to be dazzled, and just feel that innocence within me again.
With memories. With giraffes. With stars. With lights. With peace. With… comfort.
***
No park bench adventures lah.
***
The park got a little noisy and as we tried figuring our way out, and the way actually led us to another park.
West Coast Park. And we thought of grabbing a bite at McDee’s.
I didn’t really want to eat, so we ended up taking a walk, hand in hand, down the quiet path, which winds down to one end of the park.
The park that held so much memories.
I remember we walked in this park, hand in hand, the last time too.
Though the bugger had the audacity to keep disturbing me when I try to keep my hands steady to take night shots.
We left for home as the teasing escalated.. not before we took the route that brought us to Pandan reservoir, and the place where I once spent an agonising 4 years of my life.
We took a further ride down to Jurong Lake Park.. just opposite where I grew up.
It was a stop at the petrol kiosk for food and drinks, before we finally made our way back.
It was nice.
I like things simple.
***
Breathless.
I love internet shopping.
No lah. I didn’t get myself any Brr Brr toys.
***
I always like sitting across him at a table, and we would figure life out together… and just say whatever that comes to mind.
It was nice.
***
It was a warm night, but indoors are freaking cold these nights, and I have no idea why.
Nonetheless, snuggling next to a warm body and cuddling to sleep is indeed utterly luxurious.
We wrapped up the night as we cuddled, and browsed through the pictures, and played the videos of Minibean on my camera.
All I remembered was that, we smiled, we laughed.
I wasn’t quite able to get to sleep. But I know as I hear the breathing next to my ears, I slowly drifted off…..
***
Didn’t have much sleep, cos work beckoned.
Woke up early cos he had tried pulling the blankets off me, switched off the air-conditioner just to get me up.
I sulked big time, but I knew I had to.
Rushed around to do some errands.
I made him go shopping with me, and I spent like 62 bucks on some flash cards for Minibean(like, seriously, did I spend that?!). I shopped around for a sofa too, but I didn’t quite manage to find something I fancy.
We headed to town, where I was once again, at a familiar place that brought forth so much memories.
Dad picked me up early to head in to JB.
The little one actually slept at 6am yesterday!!!!!
She stood at the side of her cot for the entire night just to get my parents to wake up to play with her.
Dad also told me how she doesn’t like to play with toys(the horror! I went back and saw a Barney! No Barney! NOOOOOOO!), and how she likes to throw her toys around, and then she would like to contort her body so she could get out of the pram, walker, to reach for other things to play.
She like challenges, like my dad puts it. Hahaha.
It wasn’t long before she heard voices and woke up.
Her hair is now in an absolute mess! Hahaha. But I think is so damn cute. They are starting to curl out at the ends.
I fed her porridge and she was smiling for every spoon of porridge! Like me, she doesn’t seem to like fish nor water. Uh oh.
Besides my intelligence, dimple and brilliance, she actually has that from me too!
We dressed her up in the Kenzo jacket I got for her, and her jeans, so that we could have a family outing to Jusco.
It was the first time, in a long, long while, since I last went out with my parents.
I love love love this picture, cos she looks like such a cutie.. though too boyish hahaha. My mum was worried she would do a split but Dad and I were jokingly saying that she would have the makings of a dancer, which will be cool.
Anyway, the trip to Jusco was the most enjoyable family outing in a long while. Seeing how my dad has trouble walking, yet insisting on carrying Minibean… it almost brought tears to my eyes, realising how much he has aged.
Dad bought icecream for Mum, me, and himself. Minibean could only watch with plenty of bewilderment.
I felt grown up.
Mum had never liked me eating ice-cream when I was younger, and to be eating ice-cream with the adults… make me feel like one, finally. I so should have asked someone to take a picture of 4 of us. I so should have.
Dad was the photographer.
It was plenty of laughs, plenty of smiles, and I even made Dad buy bed sheets for me. I feel like a daddy’s girl again.
They had forgotten to lock the boot when contemplating whether to bring the pram. We didn’t, and they forgot to close the boot!
Fortunately, this place has security guard who watched over the car(they thought it was broken into), and my pram was intact.
I never enjoyed family outings in the past, maybe when I was young, I did, but not in a long, long while. Though it was bogged down by lotsa emotional thoughts as I observed my parents. How could I possibly miss out so much.
I want to have more. I want to spend more time with the 3 people I love most.
Damn. I feel hormonal.
***
They sent me to the causeway as I fed her milk on the journey. She fell asleep in my arms and I just couldn’t stop smooching her.
I miss her so darn lots.
***
I got back, and headed straight to Ang Mo Kio to check out a potential office space.
I didn’t quite like the long distance from my place, though I suspect 2/3 of the Brats would gladly take it cos it is so near to them.
Brian and I then headed to Orchard to meet up with Tracy and Nick for a bitch-fest!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Contents have to be censored.
Brian then sent me to Thomson, where I hopped on a cab home.
It was then suddenly, the world got too silent for my comfort.
It was when the positivity took a dive… and the self-doubt crept in.
And a message came in from a dear friend, as if God’s way to remind me that I am never alone.
***
From tomorrow onwards, this month would be an utterly busy one.
In the meantime, I shall enjoy a little me-time.
A little more indulgence in my sensitivity would break the dam and I would end up looking for a good bawl.
I shall dwell in my CSI: New York.
***
I can’t wait for the shit to hit the fan.
So I can clean it up faster.
***
Meanwhile, look at what my little sweetheart is up to. Must Watch!
I spent more than an hour taking bus to head to JD’s, where we had dinner… and of course, why would we head there if there wasn’t any other incentive, like, say, mahjong? Muahahaha.
It was blardy cold.
Sometimes, when you lose control of the game, you just go on playing without placing your mind on it, just going with the flow, and not remembering the exact cards you want.
Then you get indecisive over which combinations you really want, and you lose the heart to play.
***
I love last night’s weather, though it was just a tad… too cold.
Don’t get me wrong, I love cold weathers. It was just.. a state of mind.
***
I finished Ghost Whisperer Season 1 and like Grey’s, I couldn’t find it within me to continue with the next season.
***
My allergy and itching is not going away Boohoo. How long does this irritating thing go away?
Dad was so nice that he bought lunch back for me. I was in utter horror when I realised he bought shrimp paste(hei bee hiam) and some other stuff with hei bee for me.
He, a veteran of hives, told me it wouldn’t affect me and I just wolf down whatever that he bought.
Why is it that medication for allergy is same as runny nose?
Anyway, gooooooooooooooood news. After my insistence that I want the bring baby back, my family and I are starting to plan long-term so that baby can be with me more often.
I had told Mum that I wanted to pay for my confinement nanny to be in Singapore for a month to take care of Minibean, even though that would set me back close to $2k, inclusive of her food and stuff.
That’s why I am only saving for one month!
Mum then got increasingly paranoid, and did her usual of saying how she is the best and the confinement nanny is no good cos she is too chor lor(rough), too loud… too whatever she could nitpick.
Then she called me at least a few times last night to discourage me from doing so.
I asked her what’s wrong with me wanting to be close to my baby for a long period of time, and then she started going on and on about how I should be concentrating on work and not waste the money.
On her last phonecall to me last night, she said something like maybe I can consider to bring baby out only for 2 weeks… cos she wouldn’t get used to it.
I was like telling her, “HELLO?! My daughter alright? I just want to be close to her all the time, so what’s wrong with that?”
I mean, I don’t mean it in the wrong way, but if I have my way, I don’t think I should be leaving baby with her just because she wouldn’t be used to cos it just doesn’t make sense, cos a mother misses her baby, right?
But I know she means well too.
Dad was insistent on getting a maid in JB, but as I fear for the maid’s life(imagine the stress to be around my mum 24/7), I told him it would be better to spare a human life from that agony hahahaha.
I am mean huh. I told him that mum would be so paranoid that she wouldn’t let the maid near baby, and she would get jealous over the maid too. Sigh.
So he said he would monitor, and that would give the maid more incentive to be in Singapore with the baby. Cool.
Ah well.
Another good news!
Dad going to Hong Kong tomorrow.. until.. Friday.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
And you guys would know why I am so happy right? Hehehehe.
But the darn thing is there is a big-scale function I have to attend with him on Saturday and I am not sure.. just not sure.. if it would be good for me to turn up.
***
I had supper with a friend who is back from France just a little while ago.
He is always great fun to be with.
And together with Jiatong, and D W, he reminded me of the days when I was lonely, helpless, and down, and they were the people who brought warmth and hope.
And of course, the nicest chicken soup made when I was pregs.
He had picked me up for supper when he knew I am feeling unwell at home.
Just before I got off the car, the very nice Barry passed me a paper bag, and inside, was a pink cardigan(I love jackets for babies!) and a pink tee for Minibean.
Of course, Mummy is not forgotten. He had gotten us some stuff when he was in Barcelona holidaying.
And such a vainpot actually talks about his LV quests in France(how he get the tax rebate), and I am impressed.
Updated @ 6.44am: There is one kind of person…. which I refer to them as 不知死活(literal translation as: Don’t know how to die) kind.
And yours truly, has to test her luck in this way.
I had McDee’s for late lunch. Ice Tea, McSpicy and Fries. I had chicken rice with black soya sauce, sans chilli sauce, for dinner.
THEN! I had prata, 2 gosongs. FINE! Plus one bite of chicken from Roy’s plate. Plus one plate of curry with God-knows-what(I know got fish) at Prata House at Thomson.
So I was happily watching my Ghost Whisperer and reading the morning news when I started to unconsciously make my nails to good use.
I went for toilet break… and the full horror hit me, AGAIN!!!
Even worse than that morning!
*Checks face* Okay, heng, don’t have.
If you think this is all, hurhurhur, I am just seeing the spots coming out on my left leg as I am typing this, and my left elbow is starting to have bumpy rash. Oh great. Right lower back too. And uhm.. scalp.
So what the #$%^@$ was it that is causing this relapse? Boohoo.
I…. neeeedd…..a….jaaaaabbbb! Does it have to be a Sunday today?
Update ends here.
***
Yet another weekend passes just like that.
I love the fact that these 2 nights are companied by the slight drizzle out there, and evoke such concoction of emotions.
Damn the hormones.
***
Yup, I am home tonight, and not in JB with Minibean.
I packed my bag and JD picked me up at around 5pm(after a conversation with SBB on the phone to kickstart my day) after FF and her both tried their darnest best to get me out of the house.
I had wanted to just hole up at home till it was late, so that Dad could pick me up for my trip back to JB.
We went to Balestier to buy some food before we headed over to JD’s place for mahjong. I hadn’t seen the girls in the longest while, and playing mahjong with them is the best!
Though they said they now have a chao ah lian(thankyouverymuch) in the group…
Boobs very nicely bought us more food, before Uncle Roy joined us for mahjong. Uncle Roy is getting old, stamina no good, and thus, we only played till 2am.
Dad had said he would be done at 10pm, which he did call, but only to tell me that I wouldn’t have anywhere to sleep if I do make the trip back cos my Aunt and her daughter are both over there for a visit, and they are taking up my room.
Uh…. huh. I get the picture. So, I didn’t make it back to JB tonight.
I felt quite a big sense of disappointment, and I made a call to Mum. Aunt picked up the phone and then we caught up a bit over the phone. Actually all I wanted was to talk to Minibean.
***
Oh this afternoon, I did the sneaky thing of calling up my confinement nanny and telling her how the program is going to be aired, and I hope she could help me pre-empt my parents. Hehehehe.
I think she did, and when Mum got to the phone, she told me not to worry, and asked me to just save, work hard, and leave everything to them.
But that’s not the main point! Tsk. Okay, I already tell myself, that at 9am in the morning, to take the chance that my Aunt(who is a very gentle soul, bless her, and she loves to preach) is still around, to uhm.. inform them.
That is another 4 and half hour to go.
Anyway, when Minibean got to the phone, she was laughing madly and she was so darn happy with the crowd at home giving her all the attention.
When I was listening to her laughters, I had so much comfort, and I was so darn proud.
In fact, I wish I was there with her, and I swear my eyes were moist, but I thought my mahjong kakis would think I am mad if I suddenly just break down and cry(that was a darn tempting option).
She went on laughing, chuckling, and the rest were saying her laughters very ‘violent’.
I love you, baby.
***
I think I am beginning to make sense why Mum had always tell Minibean to call me ‘jiejie‘(sister).
During the conversation with my confinement nanny, she told me how my mum always tell her that if one day I were to find a nice man to marry, she is willing to acknowledge Minibean as her own, so people wouldn’t find out, and that I could find my own happiness…
Though I thought her silliness is so cute, as I think back now on this rainy night(darn, rainy nights + PMS = no good), I feel such a sense of guilt towards my parents(don’t cry, you ninny).
I know she means well for me, and she still wants me to settle down, with someone nice.
But if I ever do, I want to find a man who can accept me for who I am. I am not one who hides… and I don’t think I should hide.
Problem with people like me is, we never think we deserve anyone good.
***
I went to supper with JD, FF, and Uncle Roy before heading for home.
***
I was knocked out most of yesterday after taking the medication, and sleeping off the fatigue from the disturbed sleep the night before.
Still feeling a bit sick, Nick offered to pick me up to go for supper since I hadn’t eaten anything for the day.
Chey. It was only because Audrey was in Jurong. So, Nick, Audrey, Uncle Roy and Auntie Mel came down to pick me up.
We were lost when we were looking for Boon Lay. Quite honestly, I wasn’t even looking out for the roads and turns. I have no freaking idea where my thoughts drifted to. I didn’t even bother to make sense of the roads.
Eventually, we went on to the expressway, turned to wrong exit, and headed to Yishun instead. Hahahaha!
Wrong turn when heading to Chong Pang!
Tan and Brian joined us later.
Okay, so anyway, that wasn’t the first, nor the last road mistake of the night, and we practically went around the whole island(Sembawang to BKE to SLE to CTE to PIE) before Nick sent me home.
On the way home, Nick asked the same question Boon asked me the last time round.
“Why are you never happy?”
I laughed heartily, and then retorted with mocked offense, “What do you mean? I was happy just now, weren’t I?”
Dammit.
***
He got me home, picked up the child’s seat he left at my place, and left.
I stripped for the showers, and then remembered my towel.
I walked to my room and then saw the dark shadow outside it.
I closed the ajar door and the son of a bitch of cockroach scrambled into my room!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE HORRORS!
I immediately called Nick and panick-ly asked him to come up again since he was still fixing the child’s seat.
He came up, and became my HERO. That cockroach was darn strong. It didn’t die even after we douse like 2 cans of insecticide on it, okay?!
(Of course, I got dressed before he got up lah!)
It was quite hilarious when he chased the cockroach into my room, and then I was frantically shouting, “Don’t let it get away! Even if it dies, get its body out of my room! And if you see my vibrator, pretend you never see anything! Oh there it is!!!!!!”
So that concluded the dramatic night.
I stayed in my insecticide-filled room cosily, watching Ghost Whisper, until I had a conversation with SBB.
Sorry sweets, I just seriously didn’t want to touch on those topics. My bad for the lost of patience.
***
I can’t stop watching this video of Minibean. She has this habit of falling backwards, thinking it is darn fun. Even as she is learning to stand up now.
I think she might be an engineer you know(the horrors!!!!!!!!!! Gasp!), cos she likes to assemble and take things apart, like how she is doing with the cot in Malaysia.
She loves to look for the tags of the garments too.
On this rainy night, I have to make do with this to bring me the comfort I so need.
I had quite a bit hanging off the top of my head, and like I said, I am pretty apprehensive.
SBB was on the phone just a while ago, and the conversation was littered with silence, just like the one we had last night(when he inevitably became target of my sarcasm practise, again! He correctly noted that it happens once a month. Ahem.).
It was as if reading my thoughts, he asked, “You worried about your parents’ reaction?”
Uh huh! Uh huh!
The date has changed, so the amount of time I had set aside to pre-empt them is abruptly cut short, which in a way, is good, so I have a shorter guilt trip to travel, haha!
Now, I am wondering if I should conveniently book a holiday, kidnap Minibean out on Wednesday, and then 远走高飞 on Thursday noon.
Tsk, it is not so easy to plan for your own disappearance you know?
Okay, I ain’t serious with any of my plans, JUST SAYING, you know?
So if I go missing, don’t just think I plan it, cos I could still be kidnapped, you know?
My mum was nearly conned yesterday when someone called to say she was calling(China woman) from the High Court, and that Mum is involved in some money laundering and the High Court issued an order to arrest her.
So if she is innocent, she must draw out her money from Maybank, and then the government will open an account, safeguard by the government and not in a public bank.
HELLO?
Then she said her phone would be tapped, so told her she is not allowed to use the phone.
My mum did get panicked. Her usual silliness made her almost believe it, and she really didn’t dare to use the blardy phone!
But her saving grace was when she went to ask neighbours for help.
But I am not very happy with the fact that she told the conwoman(I hope you rot badly!) that she couldn’t go to the bank cos she has a baby with her.
HELLO?!?!?! What if she kidnaps baby next time?
Okay, I am paranoid.
In other news, I will be seeing baby today but most likely I would head out without bringing her along with me.
Have you read in the news how this woman who works in Singapore, and travels back to JB everyday was robbed and raped, BY A LICENSED TAXI DRIVER? Oh, she boarded her cab at the causeway, which is also my usual route when I get back.
I will just hop on any cab at the same place and just think to myself it is darn convenient for me to get back home.
The news is chillingly too close for comfort.
I just afraid they will rob me and the camera of so much memory and pictures of Minibean will be gone, you know? Of course, I half fear they would bash me up too.
But what to do? My weekly pilgrimage to see the darling has to be fulfilled.
So Ming needs not worry about spam emails coming from me. Hohoho.
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