Web cams are waaaay too cool.

It was a gift from long time ago, but I didn’t expect it to come in handy.

Gifts and surprises were hardly part of what we shared for the most of the 2 years(gee, Charissa turns 7 months today, and 2 years is just… end of the month), yet I think I pretty much utilise everything today.

Yes darling, you were sexy in it. *Smirk*

***

I honestly do not like this part of the year.

I have always dread August, September and October(except for MotoGP).

Somehow, they always seem like the loneliest month for me.

Not to mention how I had a mega big breakup 3 years ago on August.

Oh, you know, I always feel teary when watching National Day Parade that I stop watching them altogether?

Oh, and I used to have my term break in September, and I would fly back for a short holiday and leaving was always hard.

Oh, there was this August long ago… when I met her for the very first time.

I always fall sick during this period of time.

Friends would get into accident during that period of time.

My first puppy love’s birthday was in September and subsequent couple of years on his birthday, I would always feel a sense of moroseness.

Oh yes, who can forget that silly cringe-worthy Goodbye post last 9th September(which is the day I untwirled my pictures, say, 2 years ago).

Oh yes, of course, in September last year(on my first puppy love’s birthday, no less), someone called me, told of his frustration of his friend judging him(which I later know why) for.. uhm, that reason.

And of course, in October, when he finally “made his move”?

The irony eh?

And last year around that time, I didn’t manage to hit my freaking target and I didn’t get paid!

And of course, even my freaking computer died on me in October(%^#^%@#%$) and I lost my ATM card in the cab(uhm, not the time I froze it in the freezer)!

Oh! I even spent a bomb cos I got bad tummy cramps and I was feeling dizzy and all, and was in hospital(I have never, ever been in that bad a situation.. of course the fact that I was 30 something weeks pregnant made it important that I spent that afternoon in the ward).

Oh… and I remember many broken hearts in those months last year.

And I remember the feeling I had. Which I just encrypted it in the words, ‘Harsh.. just too harsh”(Ha! The mega-irony!).

I just simply dread August. September. And October.

And this year.. I dread July too.

***

Pardon me for the lack of updates. I simply couldn’t find it in me to want to blog.

A mundane Monday with a meeting in the office, before I rushed to Sim Lim to meet with a supplier, had coffee with Brian(whose business I believe to be damn good cos he is getting new bike, new phone and going for a holiday!) and Roy(who took over Brian’s phone), before Tracy(who got herself a new DVD writer) and Nick(who splurged on some graphic software) joined us.

Dammit. All of you damn rich right?(In a way, I was happy for everyone. It was like it was Christmas. Just that we all deserve all these little treats that we have been deprived for so long. My friends, we are not there yet, but we are getting there, alright? Hang in there.)

I want a new toy too.

A darling of mine was all broken and I wish there was more I could do.

Everything was on a downward spiral from there. I felt sick. I felt tired. I felt like running home and hide. Not after I went to St George with Nick, Tracy and Roy(I got all upset and affected when I saw a man carrying a bag of socks, belts and perfumes going around the table.. because I felt helpless and since I was like 4 or 5 years, people who look like they are struggling with life, always make me cry. I am mad. Damn. I am the kind who gets all guilty if I don’t buy or donate but how many times can I do that without going beyond my means??).

And I did for a while, just too tired to be answering calls.

No cabs in sight, and I just felt the lingering tears. I even resorted to prayers to get myself a cab so I could get out of there.

And a cab came, and the driver was heading to where I was going.

I indulged in episode after episodes of Ghost Whisperer.

I am onto the 8th episode, and there wasn’t a single episode that didn’t get a single tear from me.

It is good therapy.

I got bored and web cam entertained me. We would be good entertainers.

***

Last night I got on a cab.

I told the cab driver I was in his cab before.. right down to where to where, which date, what time. I think I freaked him out.
It was his partner, not him who was driving the other day(his partner does afternoon shift, and him, midnight). But what was the odds of me getting on to a cab that I had been on just 2 and half weeks ago?

It was the interior of the cab(the disc displayed on the windscreen and the magazine at the back of the seat). And then the number struck me(must be the photographic memory thingy again).

I think I should buy 4D.

***

I have to go on a trip soon and I hate to go for this compulsary trip for team building and some re-focusing thingy.

I really don’t want to.

Because, I might not be there for you, when you finally say goodbye… and you know what? I know for sure I would cry buckets too.

I feel bad I can’t be around when you leave.

I love your comment. Thank you.

I love you small one to bits - from the very first day I saw the little icky-looking-tongue-spitting you. I bet you are the only baby who laughs and gurgles and smiles SO much. And you! The big one who moaned during labour! You must stay sane and happy, so when it’s my time, you can teach me how to moan instead of hurling vulgarities at my gynae, aye?

As you guys can see, I am totally incoherent, and that my thoughts are all over the place(thus the brackets of sidetracked thoughts).

I am hungry(see! It’s totally irrelevant!).

But I had a fabulous weekend with Minibean(whom I spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday with!), which explains why my emotions found home for that few days, and no updates on this little space.

(It is cool isn’t it? It’s like I have the barest thoughts and really typing whatever that is from the top of my mind)

I miss her already.

Roy is right. He always say I need emotional support the very day and the next one or 2 days after Minibean is back with my Mum.

Oh well.

I really shouldn’t be digressing. My eyes are gelling shut.

***

This sounds really weird.

Today out of nowhere, Roy mentioned this Mandarin song by a Hong Kong singer to Tracy(anyone remember Daniel Chan?).

And out of absolute boredom, when I surfing a friend’s friendster, I actually clicked on this profile, and it was..  gasp, him!

You would be surprised which other celebrities actually do go on friendster(and I don’t mean local).

Alright, today’s post is so absolutely random. I shan’t type on shall I type the wrong stuff.