My room smells absolutely fresh with a sweet tinge of mint to it.

Though the cleaning up of the mess was too much of a hassle after he had accidentally spilled it that night. I just had to add to it, and spilled it again all over the table on the next day, Friday.

Now, the greasy stains on my bedsheets are stubborn and refused to be washed.

***

I was just coming out of my shell from the past few days. No MSN, no phone calls, no going out, and strangely, barely enough hours of sleep. A lot of cheesy television, a lot of reading, a lot of… other stuff but communication.

But JD successfully pulled me out of my shell on Thursday afternoon, after that long phone call that particular early morning.

She dropped by my place after lunching with FF, and despite her ailment, she insisted on driving me out for lunch.

I was tired…. and despite the reluctance to head out, I eventually did.

We picked up MS and drove to the railway station for lunch. I had no idea why, but the place got me real excited, and I was almost skipping instead of walking.

It was… just a reminder of the innocence… the old days, where I would head back to Mum’s hometown by train with the other relatives.

And of course, the moroseness when seeing the stranded figure of my Dad at the station, waving goodbye to us as the train pulled out.

I must have been borne an emo person. I often teared and cried seeing Dad standing alone there. It is just… a sense of loneliness too hard to bear for a mere 3 year-old. And yes, I can still vividly remember that feeling.

MS and JD successfully boggled my mind with a new option, and even tempted me with promised help.

I know most people would jump at the opportunity, but I am not sure if I could be up to it, really. Thank you, and I will give it a serious thought.

FF flaked us and I was sorely disappointed. I spent the evening as bright as I could be, almost running out of batteries for my torchlight, out of wax for the candle as Boobs dropped by at her place with dinner. It was no wonder I was dripping wet(with sweat) after I left her place in a snap of fingers after.. the movie on Star Movies finished its airing.

***

I dozed off like I had been doing everyday for the past week.

I woke up after an hour, close to midnight and did some reading.

The surprise call came in slightly later and he said he would drop by in 10 minutes.

He had bread and couple of other items in tow, since he knew I was running out of bread. Though I was thinking I was running out of ham as well.

***

It was just 2 days before that day when I thought back about that very day I got pregs last March.

Okay, it wasn’t anything decadent about that day, but I was just thinking about how after a tiring night(er.. the IT Show, you see), and barely sufficient sleep, it would be a new day at work the next day(if I remember correctly, it was the 1st day of work actually).

He woke up before I did, and I remember how he stroke my face, and cuddled me as I slept turning to my right. I hugged him really tight as the day broke, and he gave a little peck on the forehead before bidding his goodbye. I would pull him back for a couple of more cuddles before he finally left, and I would slip back to sleep within seconds.

I felt like a big baby in my delirium state, and that’s one of the most wonderful feelings in the world, besides waking up in someone else’s arms in the morning.

Then, the reminder of it that day, made me realise how I miss that feeling, and how it quite never happened since that morning.

The mind is a powerful tool, I tell you.

***

As he curled up in bed, I pounced on his duvet-wrapped body and clung on to his warm body from behind, planting silly smooches as I giggled.

He had wanted to retire earlier as I watched my American Next Top Model Cycle 8 on Youtube. Quite honestly, that was the first time I watched that show, and I love to see how their pictures turned out.

Somehow he wrestled me from the computer and pinned me down with his strong hugs.

Eventually, I gave in and crawled next to him and fell asleep on his chest, with his arm around me.

I was semi-asleep when I felt him removing his arm to stretch, before he got it snaked under my neck again.

It was a morning where he didn’t wake me up like he usually does.

He woke me up gently, and briefly asked me a question. With a soothing tone, he told me he was about to leave, and had his hands wrapped around me.

In my delirium, I felt soft kisses on my lips and cheeks, tingling touches, and the cozy whispers of his goodbyes.

Those were the feelings greatly missed, and found.

***

I spent Friday and Saturday peacefully at home, with nothing great to rave about, unless you guys wanna hear ramblings about work.

I just want to clear my mind of all thoughts so I could make the right decisions ahead.

He sent me an incredibly adorable MMS which really brightened my day. Thank you, sweets. I bet she got the grumpiness from you, as much as you would insist otherwise. Heh.

I can’t wait for next week when CSI’s new season would be out!