Archive for November 4th, 2007

There is something, there is nothing

There is something therapeutic… there is something hounding..

There is something melancholic… there is something peaceful…

There is something beautiful… there is something tragic…

There is something bitter… there is something sweet…

There is something fulfilled… there is something lacking…

There is something soothing… there is something painful…

There is something cosy… there is something unsettling…

… about the heavy rain out there. Accompanied by the thunder.

On a Sunday night, no less.

It seems to liberate. Yet, it seems to trap me further.

How I’ve missed it. So much.

I suddenly feel a great urge to run down into the pouring rain, run, dance, twirl, scream, cry, laugh, skip and wail.

I know I will never be the same again.

And it is sad to look in all directions, and there is, nothing.

For some, they make it a new beginning, yet there are some, who would take 2 steps back for every step they make forward.

And after all the constant attempts to make a new beginning, the possibility of ever finding it.. seems to elude me, once again.

Weekend spoiler

The supposed day of watching some magician didn’t take place, but it was replaced by a very nice surprise of the little one’s presence.

My nanny brought her out terribly early on Friday morning, and I was already up waiting for their arrival.

Not because of anything, but because of the cold sweat I broke out at 6am, accompanied by a little pain in the tummy, and the sudden squirt that alerted me.

I started to brew a cough and I was quick to pop a pill for pill relief.

It was Part II of the cleaning process.

The little one was pretty subdued in my arms. She has the tendency to lean her head limply onto me whenever she is tired, and I held her close as I slowly watched her eyelids becoming heavier.

She was out pretty soon, and I grabbed a couple of hours of nap as well.

When I woke up, my nanny informed me that the girls’ night in was probably a no go as she had to start work that very noon.

Baby and I stayed in until it was dinner time, and I had wanted to bring her out.

Dinner was at Jurong Point, and she attracted plenty of attention from the staff who served us.

Wasn’t feeling too well, and Dad brought her back to Malaysia the very same night.

***

I did some packing on Saturday, and my day just sept by.

Watched match. Watched a movie on television. Watched CSI.

And my reading bug got to me so much that I decided to wake up early to do some bookshopping.

I got myself 4 books and I was hoping they would keep me occupied and awake for many days to come.

But honestly, how long could they last me?

I was then forced to sit through the horrid competition on television when I was on my reading break.

I know they must have put in lotsa of efforts, but the stunts made me laugh real hard cos I was wondering if they were preparing to take part in circus-like fund-raising stuff in the future.

Then, I think there was a segment to test their eloquence.  And then it was funny when one of the judges complain something about them talking too much instead of acting with feelings in their eyes.

Uhm… like.. really, duh? Then why make it a test of eloquence?

I saw some big-nosed lass scrunching her face up like she was shot… with acting skills that made me cringe big time.. and was horrified to see her earning praises from all over. And.. how did she make it through the competition anyway? She was so painful to watch that I switched channel.

Towards the end, I switched back. Mind you, she got 3rd. Gosh.

Some joker-lookalike with bad complexion won the competition and he looked scary.

Though the guy who got 2nd seemed more deserving a winner.

Yawn.

Eek.

And oh please, boy bands who can’t sing to save their lives and jump around like they are the coolest things are like… so yucky.

Back to my book.

Meeeeeoooooowwwwww!