Who and what the fuck do you guys take me for?

For all that humiliation? For all that insults?

Maybe not in your eyes, but those words said were evident.

I missed a curtain contractor’s calls at 2.35pm. I didn’t forget that he said he would be here anytime between 2pm to 4pm.

I sprung up from bed to search for my phone and then saw the missed calls.

I muttered an “oh shit” and frantically called him back.

He appeared at my doorstep and I was terribly apologetic.

“You know huh, please, I have another meeting to go for. You are not the only appointment. I was really seriously thinking if I should do it for you, you know? Please la, answer your phone. And really, you should get a life.”

It wasn’t what I had expected after I knew it wasn’t a good start to a Monday, which saw me being awake at 9am and had a teary start to the day.

As much as I tried to calm myself and bit my lower lip down to say “That was uncalled for, and if I knew getting your help means humiliation for me, I wouldn’t have done it. You could very well leave, really. No, fuck off, I mean.”

But I didn’t.

All I did was hide into my room and started crying even more.

Whatever impressions he had of me must be what I think it is.

And just when I thought it couldn’t be any worse.

I was dealt with another slap across my face.

It got to a point that I wasn’t even trying to hide it in front of the contractor’s girlfriend who was trying to round off the situation.

And then another slap.

And then another slap.

Whoever said I should get out of it should be slapped.

Because when I want to get out of it, someone would just be down even further.

And now, I really don’t want to ever come out anymore.

And to think I was speaking so greatly about my cousin to my dad and how he should engage his services. No, I don’t think he owe me anything because I engage his services, just like I don’t think he should think I owe him anything, and I expected some form of respect like I would suppose he does too.