In 2008, I shall be honest.

I did confront lotsa issues in the past 2 weeks, and finally liberated myself from… myself.

Which really is a good thing, but yet, can be quite a scary thing.

I met many new faces, whilst trying to leave behind the old, and sometimes it is not easy to do so.

In all of us, there is always this soft spot for the past, cos it is the past that made us, the past that leave us so much to chew on.

Memories last. But people around us, normally don’t outlast them.

And if there is a chance for you to live the “what ifs” of the past, even for a day, what would you do?

And then, on this day, you would rip your old scars open, pull out your darkest secrets, and just be brutally honest to yourself, and lead the day like you always want to.

You indulge in things you always wanted, you just immerse yourself in the what could have beens.

It is almost like living a fantasy.

What you had wanted, waited for.

Then you get answers answered, questions you didn’t dare to ask, asked.

Will you want a day like this?

Or would it be too painful for you to move on at the end of the day?

Or would it liberate you so much, cos like they say, the truth shall set you free?

Exorcisms are often much needed, so that when you do move on, you know for sure you are being fair to everyone, and even yourself.

No more doubts. No more buts. No more excuses. You face yourself.
You live the day to the maximum, and then, it is, the end.

Anti-climatic, but then it is all you need to finally, live.

Just remember these wise words, chin up and breathe. That is all you need to bring with you, to get through anything.

And if you guys didn’t already know, didn’t already suspect, here it is.

I am sorry to many hurt I bring to many people this year.

I owe it to many people. Maybe some people may find that I owe them explanations, which I simply don’t bother to anymore.

I am okay, I really am.

When I was enjoying myself, having crushes, I really was enjoying myself, and I do feel genuine warm and fuzzy feelings.

Do I feel like I was forced to move on? Yes, I did, but did I genuinely did? I do.

It feels exceptionally fulfilling. I should be thanking those who directly or indirectly made me realise I do have to move on. It gets me out of my comfort zone, but it did help loads.

I am not sure how long this phase will last, cos like many things in my life, except for memories, they don’t last.

I have to be honest, isn’t it? I have to answer to myself, and some others.

And so, I admit. And I, will only have to say it once, and for all.

I love you. I did. And very much so.

It took me so long to admit to FF and JD, but I finally did, after I admitted to myself.

And now, this is for you to know, for you to bring it with you. No matter if it means anything to you, or not.

And it will for me, to bring it with me.

On hindsight, this would be perhaps why I could look back, and found the courage to brave on all the consequences, including losing people who meant a lot to me. And why, I had braced myself for all that could have came, and had.

I have lost my pride and self worth, but still, it was all I deserve.

Thank you.

Tomorrow, I will breathe, have my chin up, and walk on.