I once wonder why the palpitations brought on by caffeine, which is accompanied by racing heartbeats, cold sweating, tremblings, light-headedness is called anxiety attack.

I had precisely all the above last night when Dad had called me from KL to ask if Mum had contacted me.

Not a very usual question coming from Dad and it got me all panicky. Apparently Mum was uncontactable since 10pm and calls to her went unanswered.

Ever since Mum started taking care of Minibean, she seldom brings her out, unless my dad is around.

And it is uncharacteristic of her to be still out so late. Mum is the most paranoid person you ever would find, and in a place like JB, you can never be too safe and careful.

We started calling her, and calls to the house phone and handphone all led to the voice recording of telco providers which were starting to annoy me.

I paced around the house and couldn’t quite think straight, I started to think what I should be doing, and started to search high and low hoping to find an extra set of keys to my JB apartment.

I started finding it hard to breathe. Then I started thinking if I have any tools with me that I could possibly break the lock, and then get to the phone to redial her last dialled number.

I was thinking of changing and brave the horrendous traffic at the causeway in the rain since the fugitive went on the run.

I quietly muttered to myself, “What if something happened to baby…?”

I can’t remember how that couple of hours went but I know I was dialling acquaintances in JB asking for help, wondering if they live close enough to check on them.

I started saying, “I don’t want her to stay in JB anymore…”

I think they thought I was mad cos I was incoherent and barely making sense.

It was almost 12.30am when an unknown call to the handphone ended all the drama.

Dad had called up the apartment’s developer, who in turn contacted the security guards who checked on them.

Apparently, my daughter, my beloved cheeky girl, had switched all the phones in the house to silent mode, leaving my uneducated, unsavvy Mum, clueless.

And Mum had no idea at all. And when she finally did, when the security guard got in touch with her, she immediately called my dad back.

She called me too, which I had actually broke down in tears in absolute relief(so silly, I know).

She started saying how Minibean had meddled with all the phones in the house and successfully switched them to silent mode. And she started saying how she has no idea how to switch the ringers on.

Okay. Now my daughter is too smart for her grandma.

Other than that, I have clocked so much sleep over this weekend that I think I slept more over the past 2 days than all the work days’ sleep hours add up together.

After a long night of mahjong with Uncle, Effy, and Moby(nahbeh, uncle is on a roll, keep winning our money), I slept just before daybreak and it was frightening to see the time 2030 on my phone when I finally woke.

After a heavy meal of delivery, the scary episode of missing baby and grandma took up most of the evening, before I fell asleep at around 2am.

It was 1+pm when I finally woke up this afternoon.

What is more frightening is that I have been dreaming about work for 2 consecutive days. And all related to the upcoming stuff.

Ah. So scary.

***

Friday was a heavy day for me.

But I was just glad to be in jeans, like I said.

I did something sinful. I made someone who quit smoking, smoke again. And after 2 cigarette breaks that saw the demise of 10 sticks in total, you have 2 very lost and jaded souls at work.

“Is there something you are not clusmy in?”

“Er…” just as I was thinking for an answer, I dropped the box on the floor and he had to pick it up.

I laughed. I hardly think so, I replied.

Is a melting pot of everything too generalised to survive in somewhere rigid?

It is almost funny cos it is too soon to see everything too clearly.

I bade my colleagues goodbye as I went on another depressing trip.

I went to visit someone dying. Or fighting, as I prefer to see it as. With Uncle.

I saw the daughter holding his hand tight as he endured painful transfusion.

I saw the family trying to lighten up as doctors say he has less than 6 weeks to live.

So many questions shot through my head as I tried to get around it.

It was my third trip to the hospital with 3 different persons in recent days, yet it was the one that truly impacted.

I wish I could say, fight on, you never know how miraculous a person’s determination could be.

God bless. I do hope to see miracles.