It is barely the start of a new week and my energy level is running low.

It was a casual Sunday over the mahjong table before I headed home to try to get some sleep. But apparently I couldn’t get to sleep at all and that pretty much disrupted my sleeping pattern for the start of the week.

I got home on Monday from work with my colleague giving me a lift and was looking forward to spend some time with the little one, who returned that afternoon.

I got really upset when my parents brought her out and after I dozed off briefly at 9 plus, I woke up at 11pm still not seeing her.

And it is with absolute horror that I should announce I fell asleep while playing mahjong on Viwawa. And you think I never fall asleep at the mahjong table.

I called my parents and they were still out. I was too tired and I fell asleep.

I had perhaps more than 9 hours of sleep, but it didn’t stop me from feeling incredibly grouchy at work today. The end to my spectacles-clad days didn’t quite help too.

“Angels or Devils” got me going for the past 2 days.

I just couldn’t wait to see her, and get out of the place. A place I feel incredibly…. lonely in.

I got home by the express bus today and was just immensely glad to see my little one running to the door to greet me with a big grin.

I had dinner while she dragged her new dress(which we bought at IMM over my birthday weekend after my trip to the clinic) to the table, gesturing for me to get her changed. Mum had told me how she had tried it on and refused to take it off. She is on her way to get acquainted with style, I think.

The dinner was a happy affair for me as she did all sorts of cheeky stuff(pulling camera off the table. Thank God for fast reflexes. Trying to grab the plate off the table…. you get the drift) to get Mummy’s attention. I grabbed her and smother her in kisses as she giggled and tried to get out of my grasp.

I said I would bring her down for a walk, but I got too comfortable after my shower - I fell asleep while reading some news, only to wake up at 11pm.

Minibean has grown so much, and I am just glad I have spent some time with her, chasing her around the living room, trying to make her stay in my embrace and… just knowing that she is trying to get my attention by getting unruly when I am around(she usually is easier to manage when I am not around, even he said so. Of course, babysitters know best).

At the end of the day, it is just nice to know that you are being missed dearly, though you wonder could it just be a form of escapism.

And it is just warm and fuzzy to know you could provide some form of comfort… just being.. you.

I popped a piece of chocolate from the Regent after my nap, just hoping for bare traces for comfort, and I got what I needed.

And… it is just strangely corny, yet heartwarming, when someone branded you and baby “my favourite 2 persons”.

Maybe, at the end of the day, despite all those hair-tearing moments, and beyond all that emptiness, all you need to know is that there are people who still have you on their minds.

And, that, they care.

Even if it’s only for a while.

Even if it might not be real.