I was invited by Nuffnang to attend an event organised by Health Promotion Board over the weekend, and it touched on a solemn topic which sadly, is viewed as a taboo topic more often than not.

We have heard much about AIDs, but most of the time, we are educated on the prevention against you, and rarely are we educated on the social impacts it brings.

I have much on my mind throughout the forum, yet when it comes to the time to jot them all down on this space, I no longer know what to write.

There are too many messages across to educate us on AIDs, but the focus is too much on how deadly, and how ‘dirty’(often linked to sex/prostitution) it is, mostly, the preventive measures when it comes to AIDs.

The results is that it becomes too much of a taboo subject, just like how sex is viewed in a conservative society like ours. And truth is, people are afraid of the unknowns, and would rather opt out of blood tests, or that they will feel offended cos they feel you are implying they are dirty.

You could have only one partner, but if your partner had 2 partners before you, how are you so sure that one of them didn’t have 60 partners before?

You could perhaps safely say you practise monogamy, but then, you can’t deny there is even a remote risk there that you are ignoring.

And then, there are some people would rather be ignorant and not know. And they will get all awkward when asked to be tested.

And then, there are the ones who feel judged, when you tell them you should get tested, because they narrow-mindedly feel you are making a judgment on their characters by suggesting that.

But it is like routine practises overseas, where youngsters, automatically make it a point to go for routine blood test every year, once they are sexually active.

Blood tests should be viewed as a routine, and not be viewed as something that sensitive or scary.

In fact, I have had 3 HIV tests done in the past 2 years. Once for my PR, once for Minibean’s birth, and most recently, for employment status.

But I was surprised to hear most people would rather opt out, and rather not buying peace.

But I could roughly relate to how it is like, cos I haven’t had my follow-up check up since my pre-cancerous cells surgery 5 years back, simply because I am afraid what I would find.

And I think, everyone should go, or at least, consider going for a blood test, which will only cost you $20 to do so.

It shouldn’t matter whether you have had one sex partner, or many more times than that, but it is just that you will never know. And it shouldn’t be anything embarrassing.

It should be just like any other blood test that counts your cholestrol levels or blood sugar levels.

Maybe, ’someone up there in the management’ should consider bundling blood tests as a package or renamed it to something less intimidating like “Blood analysis”, and not label it scaringly like HIV blood test.

Then again, it already is so hard to convince people to watch their diets and get their cholestrol levels measured, I could forsee it ain’t gonna be an easy task.

Do consider making it a yearly routine, and package it with your usual body checkup, and get your heads around the negativities you perceive a HIV blood test to be.

***

Now, besides educating people the importance of getting themselves tested, another topic covered is another issue that I feel strongly about.

AIDS, and discrimination.

It is not easy to change perceptions, not in narrow-minded Singapore, not in a place where people are quick to become self-righteous and play the moral-police, and not in a place where people only hear what they want to hear, and pass the verdict they want to.

“AIDS? Man! It means death. It means dirty. It means death. It means you are morally-wrong.” And then they would jump into a chemical bath to scrub themselves clean, and thereafter, protect themselves by wearing an astronaut suit.

Honestly. Should someone you hate, just because, for whatever reasons, say, being better-looking than you, achieving more than you, having more attention than you, or richer than you, or in whatever ways make you feel threatened, unfortunately has AIDs, wouldn’t you be quick to say he/she deserves it, and that he/she will be quick to become your next gossip fodder so that you could get everyone to discriminate against the person?

You see, people are too quick to judge, to quick to discriminate, not because of their own fears, but sometimes, on too selfish(and shallow) a reason for anyone to understand.

The event, covered the social stigma sounding people who are diagnosed with AIDs, and how they are often judged and isolated by the society, and sadly, people closest to them.

And people are quick to dispense sympathy to those who are transmitted through their unfaithful spouses, or by medical means, but yet are quick to judge and crucify those who they assume led ‘dirty lifestyles’.

I once read a report of how a woman has AIDS(I think it is unimportant to pinpoint how exactly she had it), and her sons and family still eat the food she prepares, and lead day to day lives the way it was before she was diagnosed. They supported her through it, and came to terms with it by taking extra care in daily lives, and things shouldn’t have to change.

And that happened locally, and it is great to know that people are educated enough to handle it the best they could.

Unfortunately, I believe this is just one of the rare examples of positivity.

Many others had their world came crashing down after they told people they thought they could trust, and ended up being alienated from the society.

People lost their jobs, after disclosing to people they have accountabilities to, or their families, when they were looking for bare traces of support…  and the list continues.

I believe people who thought of ending their lives are not just simply afraid of dealing with something incurable, but they are just afraid of the scariest, deadliest aspect of it of all, the discrimination, the social stigmas, the lonely road of battling it all by their own.

That, is perhaps their death sentence. Not AIDS.

Ask yourself, will you still be a friend, should you find out someone you know is diagnosed with AIDS?

Ask yourself, are you one of those who will be quick to throw a stone to judge when someone you know is diagnosed with AIDS?

Or will it become your personal agenda to get the world behind you to outcast him/her?

Will you hold his/her hand? Will you hug him/her? Will you just… be supportive? Will you be just.. normal?

I am sure there will be times we will not how to react, there will be times we will not know how to deal with it and be sensitive… and there will be times we don’t know if someone would want to talk openly about it.

But first, let’s just learn to open our hearts, cos at the end of it, it may be just us, who think we are the know-it-all, that really need the education.