Today, the announcement is out.
I lost my job.
The flip side of it?
I have got new namecards.
And I can finally heave a sigh of relief.
Though, here comes the steep learning curve again.
Archive for February, 2009
Yearning
February 27th, 2009 by Scarlett Ting
I miss her so much.
So terribly much.
I am not sure how much more can I hang on anymore.
There is not a moment these days I don’t feel like just giving in and collapse.
Change
February 26th, 2009 by Scarlett Ting
The thing about changes is… I don’t believe a person could change for the better, it can only be for the worse.
Having said that, there are also certain things that can’t be changed, no matter what.
And yet when it is time for self-preservation, we convince ourselves and others that things can indeed be changed, and the past can be the past.
Alas, neither do I believe in that.
I have been in pieces recently. My morale plunged, and self esteem scattered all over the place.
I simply don’t care. There are too many people in this world you must not give 2 hoots to should you wanna survive.
I don’t see myself picking up the pieces yet.
When a part of us dies, it doesn’t get revived.
Never.
And I cannot live on like this. Not anymore.
It takes a bit of gift to be such a failure like me, you know?
Even colours know I am blue…
February 24th, 2009 by Scarlett Ting
Colorgenics test which I had done before but I took it again since it is at a different phase of my life.
Colorgenics Number: 37061254
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You feel as if you have missed out on a great deal that life had to offer and you go about trying to make up for past failures. Naturally at times you get depressed and you try to compensate for your ‘missed opportunities’ by living your life to the full. This is what, perhaps, may be described as ‘living with exaggerated intensity’. In this way you feel you can break the chains of the past and start again - and it could be that you are right.
You seem to lack the energy of late to get up and go. Your objectives appear to be unattainable and no one seems to care. You feel lost, neglected and need some W.T.C. (Warm tender care).
It is amazing that you yourself believe that old ‘adage’ that you are a misunderstood person - and you feel that because of this you are being left out in the cold. It is because of this lack of believed understanding that you feel the need to conform to society in general - but this situation leaves you ‘cold’ knowing that you are not appreciated for your true self. Any relationship that you are developing at this time does not seem to involve any true emotional commitment, you seem to be just playing along.
For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You are loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.
Whatever you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong and you are now quite convinced that there is little point of formulating new objectives and it is this belief that has resulted in the stress and anxiety. You would like to be able to communicate with other people who think as you do. At this time there seems to be no-one on the horizon nor is there any prospect of meeting anyone in the immediate future. But it must be said that you are really a ‘trier’ and indications are that you will, as indeed you have in the past, ‘bounce back’.
Drama queen
February 24th, 2009 by Scarlett Ting
Of course I am alright.
All I did was just to be a drama queen like all of you made me out to be, as always, you know?
But -gives a diva wave of dismissal- me, being me, of course whatever I wrote here is not true, and just…. a ruse. An attention-grabbing stunt.
Of course, there wasn’t additional drama last night, one of passion, spite, and everything not right.
Then again, I wish that is me. It would be so easy.
So, where do I go now?
Redundant
February 23rd, 2009 by Scarlett Ting
On a tiring Monday afternoon, the day was wrapped up with a meeting.
And like everything else, my 6th sense served me strong.
My position has just been made redundant.
I am just pretty much, redundant, in all senses of words.
New change, new job, new life. I guess.
*beams*
summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when September endsring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when September endshere comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we areas my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when September ends
He’s just not into you
February 22nd, 2009 by Scarlett Ting
I read JD’s blog, and with the pending movie date tomorrow night to watch “He’s just not that into you”, I think it is kinda funny.
Oh sure, they say they’re busy. They say that they didn’t have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just THAT CRAZY. Bullshit. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when i don’t even mean to. we may try to make you think differently, but we men are just like you. we like to taking a break from our generally mundane day to talk to someone we like. it makes us happy. and we like to be happy. just like you. if i were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. which would be a day that i wouldn never be too busy to call you.
I literally burst out laughing from reading that.
” You deserve a fucking phone call ” came in the summary. It was hilarious.
I am about to make a wild, extreme and severe relationship rule: the word “Busy” is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. the word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.
Auntie JD, what book is that? Share leh.
And I am a cynic. I don’t believe in “forever”, just like how I don’t believe in “Never”. So yes, it is just plenty of mockery when people use the word “forever”.
Seriously!
Though, don’t doubt me when I say I love Minibean forever.
I shouldn’t be blogging cos my time should be going to the little “research” I have been doing, giggles. And I am awfully excited!
